Wikipedia:WikiProject LGBT studies/Peer review/Andrew Van De Kamp (1st time)

Andrew Van de Kamp
First peer review for the LGBT WikiProject! I have ambitions to make this article FA one day; but it's come out looking like a bit of a carcrash at the moment. General sweeping suggestions for the Biography section (Tense? Tone?), with more specific criticisms for the other sections, would be appreciated. I can put in as much work as is needed to get this article looking good. Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 00:20, 21 January 2007 (UTC) The following suggestions were generated by a semi-automatic javascript program, and might not be applicable for the article in question. You may wish to browse through User:AndyZ/Suggestions for further ideas. Thanks, If you have any questions, please contact me at my talk page. Ian Manka 18:14, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Consider adding more links to the article; per Manual of Style (links) and Build the web, create links to relevant articles.[?]
 * Per Wikipedia:Context and Build the web, years with full dates should be linked; for example, link January 15, 2006.[?]
 * Avoid using contractions like (outside of quotations): wouldn't, wouldn't, didn't, didn't, hadn't, doesn't, doesn't, doesn't.
 * As done in WP:FOOTNOTE, footnotes usually are located right after a punctuation mark (as recommended by the CMS, but not mandatory), such that there is no space in between. For example, the sun is larger than the moon [2]. is usually written as the sun is larger than the moon.[2][?]
 * Please ensure that the article has gone through a thorough copyediting so that it exemplifies some of Wikipedia's best work. See also User:Tony1/How to satisfy Criterion 1a.[?]

Raystorm's Review
First time I do a review. :) I just wanted to comment a few things:


 * Spoiler warnings. I for one haven't seen anything more beyond the first two episodes of season 2, and the lead was kind of giving away what would happen to this character up to season 3. You might want to reword the lead so it doesn't give too much away (especially the gas station plot!), and put spoiler warnings at the beginning of each season section.


 * There are a lot of quotes in the season 1 section. They kind of slow down the reading, although the vanilla one I agree is very good and should stay.


 * Season 2 could use with a few more wiki links. Suicide is linked, but catalyst, emancipated or blackmail aren't.


 * In the references section it says: The time given is accurate to within 10 seconds. What does that mean?


 * The character and critical reception sections are very good, I liked them. Maybe 'character' could go before the 'seasons'? It also contains some spoilers.

Well, I know this isn't the world's greatest review, but I hope it helps a little bit. Cheers! Raystorm 21:46, 21 January 2007 (UTC)
 * I have been meaning to write you a note, but keep forgetting: As Raystorm said, the article gives plot details out for episodes that haven't been shown yet in other countries (Holland included). The show starts Season 3 here on Feb 26, and I really don't want to know anything about it until then, so I am going to wait a bit before I read this article. Jeffpw 23:43, 31 January 2007 (UTC)
 * Yeah, I know, I have a lot of stuff to work on from the peer reviews that have bene given, I just need to get round to it. :) It's stressful being a full-time Wikipedian and student. Dev920 (Have a nice day!) 00:26, 1 February 2007 (UTC)


 * Comment It'd be good if we had information on how the scriptwriters came to shape the character, auditions and why the actor who plays the character was successful, and overall the motives scriptwriters had in including the character in the show. LuciferMorgan 02:45, 1 February 2007 (UTC)