Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Arthur Phillip

No consensus to promote at this time - Hawkeye7 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 02:20, 16 August 2022 (UTC) &laquo; Return to A-Class review list

Arthur Phillip
Instructions for nominators and reviewers
 * Nominator(s): 

I am nominating this article for A-Class review because I'd like to get it to FA and at the peer review it was recommended nominating here first Knightmare 3112 (talk) 02:42, 25 March 2022 (UTC)

Nick-D
I'm surprised this review hasn't attracted more interest - you might want to advertise it at WT:AUSTRALIA. I'd like to offer the following comments: Nick-D (talk) 08:09, 17 April 2022 (UTC)
 * "Serving under Captain Michael Everitt, Phillip also served" - bit repeditive
 * Re-worded those couple sentences to not use serve so much
 * The second para of the lead should make some note of Phillip's policy towards and relationships with Indigenous Australians
 * Noted the initial policy and relationships with the Indigenous Peoples
 * "Like his predecessor, Lord Germain, he turned to Phillip for advice" - the original advice doesn't seem to have been noted in the article?
 * Re-worded that whole section hopefully makes better sense now
 * "Phillip, with Lieutenant Philip Gidley King, took charge of the 64-gun HMS Europa" - this is confusing. Stating what King's role was will clarify it.
 * As above
 * " employed him to spy on the French naval arsenals at Toulon and other ports" - what did this involve?
 * Why was Phillip selected as the first governor of NSW?
 * "whose preference, it was to be supposed, would be requisite at all times" - over complex
 * Re-worded, that was a direct quote from Hunter's book
 * The second para in the 'Voyage to Colony of New South Wales' section is currently unreferenced
 * There's a 'clarification needed' tag
 * "An annual service of remembrance is held at the church around Phillip's birthdate by the Britain–Australia Society." - needs a reference
 * The first two paras of the 'Legacy' section are unreferenced
 * There needs to be a broader discussion of the historiography covering Philip than just his ADB entry.
 * "Sam Neill in the 2005 film The Incredible Journey of Mary Bryant and David Wenham in the 2015 mini-series Banished" - needs a reference
 * Added references for both
 * ? Gog the Mild (talk) 20:23, 1 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Gog the Mild what? Knightmare 3112 (talk) 13:22, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Have you responded to Nick-D's comments? Thanks. Gog the Mild (talk) 13:30, 2 May 2022 (UTC)
 * Not all of them as I don't currently have access to offline sources Knightmare 3112 (talk) 14:16, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

CPA
That's anything from me. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 11:39, 16 July 2022 (UTC)
 * Can you merge the first paragraph with the second one?
 * "receive medical treatment for kidney stones" --> "receive medical treatment for his kidney stones"?
 * Maybe add his role in the Portuguese Navy in the lead?
 * "apprentice aboard Fortune, a 210-ton whaling vessel" Which kind of tons?
 * "ground for the erection of tents.[52][51][53]" Re-order the refs.
 * "receive replies to his dispatches from his superiors in London.[56][clarification needed]" There's a "clarification needed" template here?
 * "through gift-giving, hilarity, and dancing, but also by showing them what their guns could do.[72][38]" Re-order the refs here.