Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/SMS Preussischer Adler

Article promoted by Kges1901 (talk) via MilHistBot (talk) 23:20, 13 October 2019 (UTC) &laquo; Return to A-Class review list

SMS Preussischer Adler
Instructions for nominators and reviewers
 * Nominator(s): 

By popular demand (really it was just Harrias), I present one of the oldest ships I've written an article for, and one with a fairly interesting career - a paddle steamer from the 1840s that initially operated on the packet trade. It also took part in the first naval battle of the Prussian Navy after it had been reborn under the patronage of Adalbert of Prussia, returned to commercial activities until the expansion of the Prussian Eastern Railway rendered her superfluous, and later being present at the Battle of Heligoland (albeit she contributed little to the action). She ended up being sunk as a target ship by a young torpedo boat aficionado who definitely never changed his mind. Thanks to all who take the time to review the article. Parsecboy (talk) 11:45, 3 October 2019 (UTC)

Comments Support by CPA-5
You have my review but I will do it later. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 12:05, 3 October 2019 (UTC) That's anything from me. Most of my comments were addressed in the GAN. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 09:43, 9 October 2019 (UTC)
 * he ship did not perform well under sail, however A however at the end of a sentence?
 * I think this is fine, but I've reworded it anyway.
 * outbreak of the First Schleswig War between the German Confederation and Denmark in March 1848 A little bit wordy. We're speaking about the German Confederation however only four of the Confederation joined the war. I do not think that's the right way to use it. What about "outbreak of the First Schleswig War between four of the German Confederation and Denmark in March 1848"?
 * True, but Wrangel invaded Denmark on the orders of the Federal Diet; obviously, not every member of the United Nations participated in the Korean War, but the American-led coalition fought under the auspices of the United Nations Command (and are generally referred to as US forces.
 * and in mid-August the ship was transferred comma after "mid-August".
 * Done
 * Thanks CPA. Parsecboy (talk) 11:56, 9 October 2019 (UTC)
 * I think I've got anything that I found. Cheers. CPA-5 (talk) 08:11, 13 October 2019 (UTC)

Comments Support by PM
Interesting ship history. I have a few comments: That is all I could find. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 08:50, 5 October 2019 (UTC)
 * An order for a vessel to meet Prussia's obligation to the project was issued?
 * Good catch
 * no first name for Elbertzhagen?
 * Don't know why I didn't think to look in Sondhaus until now, but we have it now
 * link seakeeping for good sea boat
 * Done
 * the ihp conversions don't match, rounding?
 * Fixed
 * lk=in for knots
 * Done
 * isn't it 25-pounder when referring to guns? Other examples
 * Good point
 * refounded→re-established?
 * Done
 * the old paddle steamer→the old paddle corvette, if that is right?
 * As I recall, she was a paddle frigate, but I don't have Groener or Hildebrand in front of me at the moment to see how they classify her.
 * say that Sulina is on the Black Sea
 * Done
 * "and had reached Piraeus"
 * Done
 * comma after "the Netherlands"
 * Done
 * move the redlink for Niels Juel to first mention, and was she a screw frigate or a steam frigate?
 * Fixed
 * given there was more than one squadron, per haps "Austro-Prussian squadron"→"Austro-Prussian fleet"?
 * Done
 * suggest I Shipyard Division→I. Shipyard Division
 * Done
 * the sources are of high quality and reliable.
 * Thanks Peacemaker. Parsecboy (talk) 12:42, 9 October 2019 (UTC)
 * No worries, nice job on this, supporting. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 22:37, 9 October 2019 (UTC)

Comments Support by Harrias
Well, I could hardly miss this one, could I?! Generally all very good, just nit-picking from me really. Harrias talk 12:25, 8 October 2019 (UTC)
 * "..but the arrival of the Austrian warships forced the Danes to abandon their blockade." What blockade? This is the first mention of it.
 * Add a bit on this
 * "Beginning in 1872, she was used alternatively as.." I think it should be "alternately", not "alternatively".
 * Good catch
 * "An order for a vessel to meet Prussia's obligation to the project, but the ship built in Britain in 1845 proved to be a failure and a replacement was ordered.." This doesn't seem quite right; it skips from the order being made to the completed ship being no good. I think a bit more context would be worth putting in: did the ship operate the route, and just wasn't up to scratch, or did the ship not even make it that far?
 * Clarified
 * "The wheels were 6.34 m (20.8 ft) in.." Why 20.8 ft, rather than ft and inches like previously used?
 * Because I forgot to specify the output ;)
 * Would it be picky to ask that a new version of the image be cropped that includes the whole of the words "St. Petersburg"? Also, the caption says top left, but it is actually top right.
 * No, that's not a big deal
 * "..this was the first naval battle of the Prussian Navy after it had been refounded." Given this is a major claim, I think it should be directly cited, rather than waiting upon the citation at the end of the paragraph.
 * I don't really see a point in repeating the citation
 * "..on the heels of.." Just "after" will suffice.
 * Done
 * "..and the administration.." What adminstration?
 * The navy's - all Hildebrand et. al. say is "...zwischen Verwaltung und Oberkommando..." Generally they're more specific about which entities they're talking about, but I'd assume this was the Prussian Navy Department conflicting with elements of the Naval High Command (under Adalbert of Prussia)
 * "Preussischer Adler was to be sent to the.." This can be trimmed to "was sent to"
 * The point was to make clear that the ship's didn't actually reach their destinations
 * "Preussischer Adler, Blitz, and Basilisk.." It isn't important, but given you listed them as "Basilisk and Blitz" previously, aesthetically it would be nice to preserve that order.
 * Reversed
 * "..and had reached Piraeus, Greece on 9 October." Either "and had reached Piraeus, Greece by 9 October." or "and reached Piraeus, Greece on 9 October."
 * Fixed per Peacemaker's comment above
 * "..slowed the ships' voyage back.." Cut ships'.
 * Done
 * "At the time, the Danish fleet was far superior to the Prussian naval forces initially available.." "initially" is redundant to "at the time", cut it.
 * Done
 * Thanks Harrias. Parsecboy (talk) 13:28, 9 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Great work, more than happy to give this my support. Harrias  talk 06:24, 10 October 2019 (UTC)

Image review - pass

 * Consider alt text.
 * Caption of map 1 "left" → 'right'.
 * Whoops!
 * It gave me a chuckle.

Gog the Mild (talk) 10:52, 9 October 2019 (UTC)
 * Caption of The Battle of Heligoland image. "The" is part of the title, and so should be in italics.
 * Good catch - the title includes the year too, apparently - I've added both.
 * Thanks Gog. Parsecboy (talk) 11:58, 9 October 2019 (UTC)