Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Assessment/Thomas Farrell (general)


 * The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article promoted Nick-D (talk) 10:21, 5 March 2013 (UTC)

Thomas Farrell (general)

 * Nominator(s): Hawkeye7 (talk)

Another Manhattan Project general. At first I didn't think he'd make the grade, but now I think he just might. Hawkeye7 (talk) 22:19, 26 January 2013 (UTC)

Support: I made a few minor tweaks. Please check that you are happy with those. The only other points I have are:
 * this might need tweaking: "on 6 August as the assistant supply officer with the first lieutenant". Do you mean "with the rank of first lieutenant"?
 * Yes, thank you. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:15, 9 February 2013 (UTC)
 * this seems inconsistent: "Years of service 1916–1951" v "Farrell left the AEC and active duty Army again in February 1952" Regards, AustralianRupert (talk) 07:20, 9 February 2013 (UTC)
 * Well spotted. Corrected. Hawkeye7 (talk) 23:15, 9 February 2013 (UTC)

Support with comments:
 * "The children helped with the farm chores, and helped deliver the milk" - repetition of helped
 * Re-worded. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * "Farrell participated in Battle of Cantigny, Aisne-Marne Offensive, Battle of Montdidier-Noyon and the Meuse-Argonne Offensive." - felt as though there was a "the" or two missing here.
 * Added three. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * "The Great Depression led to a vast expansion of public works activity." - unclear if this was nationally or locally in New York, or both.
 * Both. Added a bit. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * "Farrell (right) and Major General Leslie R. Groves, Jr., (left), 1945." - I don't think this should end in a full stop.
 * Removed. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * "the old H-20 Portable Steel Highway Bridge." - the meaning of "old" in this instance is slightly unclear (old as in a former design, or old as in an old bridge). I'd recommend losing the adjective, as it's explained in the next sentence.
 * Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * "Because good weather was only predicted until 9 August, Farrell brought forward the date for the next attack" - if you reversed the clauses ("Farrell brought forward... because good weather...") you'd avoid starting with "Because" and bring the main verb closer to the start of the sentence.
 * Good idea. Done. Hawkeye7 (talk) 20:46, 10 February 2013 (UTC)
 * " Ironically, the man who had spent a lifetime building things was principally remembered for the destruction of Hiroshima and Nagasaki." - this felt slightly non-encylopaedic/POV to me (i.e. it seemed to be suggesting that he should have been remembered as a constructor, rather than for his role in the destruction of the two cities). Hchc2009 (talk) 19:56, 10 February 2013 (UTC)

Support After reviewing the article, I made a few tweaks to fix typos. Otherwise, looks good. Zawed (talk) 09:13, 4 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your review! Hawkeye7 (talk) 10:44, 4 March 2013 (UTC)


 * The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it.  No further edits should be made to this discussion.