Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Étienne Marie Antoine Champion de Nansouty

Étienne Marie Antoine Champion de Nansouty
I am submitting this article to a peer review, in preparation of an FA nomination. The article has undergone an A-Class review, but was unsuccessful, due to a temporary shortage of reviewers, but I believe that it is not far from FA standards. The article recounts the career and life of General Etienne de Nansouty, a soldier who had a brilliant career during the Napoleonic Wars, as one of the foremost cavalry commanders of his time. He was present and had a major role in some of the greatest battles of his time, from operations on the Rhine in 1792-1797, to Austerlitz, Friedland, Wagram, Borodino, Hanau and the defense of France in 1814. I've also done my best to try to catch a glimpse of the personality of the man, who was often torn between his sense of duty and patriotism and an almost stubborn commitment to try and protect the lives of his men against decisions which were at times unreasonable.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 11:20, 28 May 2011 (UTC)

Fifelfoo
I mostly do citations and sourcing. I haven't done any plagiarism / close-paraphrase / copyvio / does the source support the statement checking. Fifelfoo (talk) 02:00, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
 * Your transclusion isn't user friendly at all, and appears broken.
 * Fixed by Andynomite.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 10:51, 5 June 2011 (UTC)


 * You need to use a consistent citation style.
 * I've noted ,,Title   "Title"'' "Title". Titles of works which are whole and entire as published (ie: a book, as opposed to a chapter or article) are not normally quoted.  Your quotes vary between French and English in your bibliography.  Unless the quotes are themselves part of the title of the work (as listed on the title page) they ought not to be included in the French style.
 * Fixed.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 10:51, 5 June 2011 (UTC)


 * You vary between "Publisher, Year" and "Year, Publisher". Publishers in acronym form need to be spelt out in full.  Courcelles, Jean B.  lacks publisher information.
 * Fixed.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 10:51, 5 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Minus signs or hyphens "-" are not normally used to divide authors from their titles ("Foo, Bar. - Title") as you have it.
 * Fixed.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 10:51, 5 June 2011 (UTC)


 * Is Chandler the series editor for Castle? If so then it is "Author. Title, Editor (series editor), Series Title, Publisher, Year."  Series Titles come before Publishers.
 * Fixed.--Alexandru Demian (talk) 10:51, 5 June 2011 (UTC)


 * What makes "Amis et passionnés du Père Lachaise" or "GeneaNet" appropriate citations? Author, containing work, section of work cited, date etc. etc.  What makes either reliable?
 * "p. 6-7" => "pp. 6–7" note the n-dash for page ranges "–".
 * Consistent citation style please, "Pigeard, Dictionnaire des batailles de Napoléon," versus "Pigeard, Dictionnaire des batailles...,".
 * Full stops at the end of your citations, ie: "p. 100" versus "p. 100.", use one style and stick with it.


 * Hi! Thanks a lot for your comments, I'll start working on them. What do you mean by "Your transclusion isn't user friendly at all, and appears broken". Thanks for clarifying. --Alexandru Demian (talk) 08:49, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
 * If you go to Military History's review page and click on [edit] in the section, it doesn't work properly, give it a go! Fifelfoo (talk) 10:53, 2 June 2011 (UTC)
 * Fixed. Andynomite (talk) 08:35, 5 June 2011 (UTC)

Comment
 * This article goes beyond the occasional non-English language sources with 80% of the sources in French, see WP:NOENG. Did you do the translating? I'd see if you could alter that ratio.
 * You need to include more of the original french text in the article; for example, the epitaph translation should be in French in quotes, and then translate it separately outside of quotes or in a note; alternately in English with the French in a note. You probably should say epitaph instead of engraving on his tombstone too. Obviously, there are many other instances of this.
 * Deathbed "I have carefully reflected upon all my action ever since I was born and in all my life, I have not done anyone wrong" vs. epitaph "In all my life, I have not done any harm to anyone" Again, include the original french somewhere (article/note). As an aside, that's what it says on the tombstone and maybe he never personally 'harmed' anyone but I don't understand what this meant: he was a honest or honorable man or he literally never shot or sabered anyone, he just had his men do it so it didn't count? Kirk (talk) 12:39, 10 June 2011 (UTC)

Dank

 * The changes since the A-class review are fine, but the text hasn't changed much since then, so I'll repeat my comments from there: I got a little more than halfway, down to Étienne_Marie_Antoine_Champion_de_Nansouty. It would be really helpful if the nominator and others could finish up; I think reviewers will respond well to this article at FAC if we can get it polished up.  Here is a diff showing some of the changes Ruth and I made. - Dank (push to talk) 03:17, 21 June 2011 (UTC)