Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Hugo Stoltzenberg

Hugo Stoltzenberg
This important article about one of the main protagonists of chemical warfare in WWI and the interwar period is completed. Please comment. --  FayssalF  - Wiki me up ®  13:52, 12 April 2007 (UTC)

Kirill Lokshin
The main flaw of the article, I think, is the extraordinarily choppy narrative. It's not really a biography in the normal sense of the term, but rather a collection of individual episodes. The article needs to start with the basics (where was he born? where did he grow up?  etc.) and move on smoothly from there. I suspect this will require additional sources.

Beyond that, much of the narrative is not about Stoltzenberg in particular. Consider for example, the first paragraph of the "World War I" section; aside from a mention of his name, there's no information about what he actually did in relation to Ypres.

Aside from that, the usual issues:
 * Longer lead?
 * Images? Perhaps some early enough to be out of copyright exist?
 * Infobox?

This really does need quite a bit of further work before it's completed, I think. Kirill Lokshin 00:57, 13 April 2007 (UTC)