Wikipedia:WikiProject Military history/Peer review/Rod Serling

Rod Serling
I just re-wrote the majority of this article, including a major expansion of his military career. His military experiences influenced his writing, so there are also a few mentions of the war throughout, but I'm interested in any comments on the military section. Feel free to edit and expand as you see fit, so long as it is sourced. Sabiona (talk) 15:00, 12 March 2010 (UTC)

AustralianRupert
Just a few comments from me for you to do with as you like. Just cosmetic really, as I can't really comment on the content:
 * according to the Featured article tool there is one disambig link that needs fixing (Hugo);
 * according to the Featured article tools two external links are dead (see here );
 * in the Postwar life section there are a couple of non-wikified footnotes (e.g. [54] and [31]) that should be converted to proper inline references using " " mark up;
 * only one of the images has alt text per WP:ALT, the others will need it too;
 * be careful capitalising ranks, per MOSCAPS ranks should only be capitalised when used as proper nouns. One example of incorrect capitalisation is "Private" in the second last paragraph of the Miltiary service section (sentence beginning "Serling, still a Private...");
 * pages ranges in the citations should have endashes per WP:DASH;
 * citations # 10 and 11 appear to be to the same source, they could be consolidated per WP:NAMEDREFS;
 * the web sources cited in Citations # 1 and 13 should be embedded so the url chains don't show;
 * web citations should have accessdates and publisher details (# 2 and 69 don't have this information);
 * a couple of the links in the External links are just url chains, they could be embedded so the chains don't appear. This can be done using a template such as cite web;
 * suggest moving the Further reading section below the References, as the References section would seemingly be more important to the reader as they have been specifically cited. Also that is the format modelled in WP:CITE;
 * there is incosistency in your citation style. Sometimes you have used "p." for page (e.g Citation # 34), other times "Pg" (e.g. Citation # 68);
 * in the Radio section there are curly quotation marks, however, per MOS:QUOTE on straight, unstylised quotation marks should be used.

Good work so far, by the way. Cheers. — AustralianRupert (talk) 11:56, 17 March 2010 (UTC)