Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/ToeJam & Earl

ToeJam & Earl
This article recently failed an FAC because the prose isn't up to standard, so I'm looking for some help with that. bridies (talk) 11:56, 25 July 2009 (UTC)
 * I can help with that. I'll make a few slight improvements tonight; expect major work in the next three days. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 08:16, 21 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Excellent, thanks. bridies (talk) 10:12, 21 August 2009 (UTC)


 * I'm done with my first pass of the article. I'll look at it a bit more over the next few days, to see if I missed anything. It looks like a high-quality article, but since this is a peer review, I guess I'll note that I found a few issues while copyediting; most of them, I described in my edit summaries. Now that the prose has been addressed, these issues may present themselves more strongly to FAC reviewers. Therefore, I recommend that you attend to them now, as much as you can. The biggest problem is the lack of content in the "Synopsis" section; it doesn't even include the ending. Even if the game is basically plotless, couldn't a little more information be added? JimmyBlackwing (talk) 22:36, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Should I just cite the primary source for the ending? I also have a bit more info on development, which I'll add in later. Previous FAC here. bridies (talk) 03:26, 23 August 2009 (UTC)
 * Yeah, a primary source for the plot will be fine. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 22:45, 23 August 2009 (UTC)


 * Sorry about my delay in a follow-up copyedit. Once you incorporate the changes you mentioned, I'll go over the whole thing again. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 23:21, 27 August 2009 (UTC)
 * OK, done. bridies (talk) 06:34, 28 August 2009 (UTC)


 * My second pass is nearing completion. If I screwed up the placement of references while moving stuff around, I apologize. It looks to be about ready for FAC, and I don't think you'll see many complaints this time. My copyedit combined with the information you added should put to rest anything they could come up with. JimmyBlackwing (talk) 04:10, 2 September 2009 (UTC)