Wikipedia:WikiProject Video games/Peer review/Tomb Raider

Tomb Raider
Hello, I recently helped promote Tomb Raider to B rating. I would however like to improve it even more. To do this, I thought i'd create a peer review to get some in-depth opinions on the article. Hopefully, this will help eventually promote the article to A class.

The kind of comments I would like are about:


 * Layout of the article (placement of images and supporting material)
 * Citation placement (could the placement of the citations and the relevant passage be moved to a better place?)
 * Possible rewrites of certain sections to improve the quality
 * Anything else you find important

Thankyou :) Phynicen  "Chat" 14:11, 18 January 2010 (UTC)

Crimsonfox's Comments

I'll do my best to point out what I think needs improving.


 * The lead needs to be expanded, it should ideally cover all of the main headings of the article and I think it almost does but not quite enough
 * I think the overall structure needs a little re-working. I think Comic Books, Novels, Theme Park Rises and Animation should come under a main heading of "Other Media". I don't think they're long enough on their own to justify having main headings
 * There's no information on development of the games or films
 * Very little information on the reception of the games as well
 * The film receoption section needs to be put into prose rather than just a table of figures
 * Similar articles such as Final Fantasy have a common elements section describing the recurring themes throughout the different media, this would be a good addition.
 * "In addition, playing Lara at game conventions is a popular type of modelling work." Needs referencing
 * I'd like to see a little expandsion on the impact of Lara Croft on popular culture. It seems to be a fairly big statement left in a single sentence
 * "race against a sinister shadow league" Shadow League seems to be bit of an odd term, if it's a recurring enemy it needs to be mentioned otherwise, not everyone may know what this means
 * There's an external link in the second paragraph of music that should be a reference
 * "Tomb Raider Ride" points to a disambiguation page, you may want to separate each ride to point to their own page because they all seem to have their own article
 * Needs more referencing overall, Games, Music and Rides are specifically lacking
 * Refs that link to downloads of manuals would be better of referencing the hardcopy of the manual
 * Ref 15 is just a download link anyway, it needs title, date etc
 * Ref 4 has an incorrect date format "April 23rd"
 * Images need descriptive alt text WP:Alt

Hope that helps, good luck with the article.  Cr im so nF ox  talk 14:59, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
 * Thankyou :) This will help alot! Phynicen  "Chat" 15:49, 24 January 2010 (UTC)