Wikipedia:Wikipedia Signpost/2020-06-28/Humour


 * French newspapers often use a headline containing une femme ("a woman" or "one woman"). French Wikipedians created a biography of this nameless woman on May 22 as part of their series of Pastiches (or Parodies).  With four exceptions, the linked references are in French. The headlines, with one exception, all contain the words une femme or similar. This article was written by 106 editors on the French Wikipedia. – S

A woman is a journalist, business manager, chemist, diplomat, economist, bishop, pastor, rabbi, imam, physicist, sports director, fighter pilot, brewer, cartoonist and Lithuanian, French, Belgian, British, Namibian, Senegalese, South Korean, Iranian, Japanese, Ethiopian, Swiss, American, Australian, Moroccan, German, Swedish, and Greek. Her scientific activity earned her the award of five Nobel prizes in chemistry, but only one Fields medal.

Birth
The date of birth of a woman is not known with certainty. Her mother, also a woman, won the Prix de Rome in 1911.

Training
In 1962, she was appointed doctor honoris causa of the University of Paris by the Minister of National Education and ten years later she graduated top of the class at the École polytechnique.

Career
In 1964, she discovered the structure of coronavirus.

In 1967, still a teenager, she became a football referee, but it was on a rugby field that she made her international debut on November 25, 2018 by refereeing a friendly match between Italy and South Africa. The same year, she ran her first Boston Marathon.

In 2009, she was elected president of Lithuania and mayor of Marrakesh. In Sweden, she became the first homosexual bishop and received the Nobel Prize in economics.

2010s
In May 2010, she was ordained a priest in the heart of Rome, an "untimely snag in the apostolic tradition" according to the Holy See. Barely a month later, she switched hemispheres to become Prime Minister of Australia then, at the end of the year, was ordained a rabbi in Germany.

In 2012, she became head of Yahoo! and was then considered for the Nobel Peace Prize. She was elected President of South Korea in December of the same year.

In 2013, after having been a member of the Navy SEALs, she was promoted to the rank of general of the French gendarmerie, after having already been a Saint-Cyrienne gendarme, and colonel of gendarmerie in 2006. She had previously been chosen to be President of Interpol. She was appointed prefect of the Department of La Manche in June, when she was previously "only sub-prefect of Draguignan". After a stint in the field of haute cuisine in autumn 2013, when she was named "cook of the year 2014" by Swiss Gault et Millau (a title she won again for 2020 ), she progressed in her military career, rising to the rank of four-star general officer in June 2014.

In 2014, she caused a sensation in the mathematical world by winning one of the four medals awarded that year for the Fields medal, considered the Nobel Prize for the discipline. She was appointed coach of a professional men's football team, in Clermont-Ferrand.

In 2015, she became editor of the newspaper The Economist and Prime Minister of Namibia. On November 8, she was appointed Ambassador of the Republic of Iran to Malaysia. She ended the year by being appointed Cadet Commander of the West Point Military Academy.

The following year, she took over the management of Bild, the largest German daily newspaper and became Minister of Happiness in the United Arab Emirates. She was rewarded in Angoulême with the first “Big Balls” prize for artistic courage before being recruited by FIFA as secretary general of the Executive Committee. On September 15, she became the head of the main Japanese opposition party.

Also in 2016, the philosopher Guillaume Von Der Weid noted that "she has been limited to three functions: biological gestation, family management and cultural grace".

At the start of 2017, she took over as head of Scotland Yard. She was elected head of the United Protestant Church of France in May 2017; then also became the head coach of the French women 's football team in September of the same year; while she was piloting the Gendarmerie helicopter in Gironde, Emmanuel Macron announced his intention to appoint her prime minister. Also in 2017, a woman climbed on the front line against the religious patriarchy, both as a rabbi and imam.

Resurrected in 2018, she began to direct the CEA branch at Gramat as well as Radio France; she received the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for the fifth time (this time it is in recognition of her work on the directed evolution of proteins) but also the Nobel Prize in Physics for her invention in the field of lasers, which earned her this biographical article on Wikipedia. In April, she planned to climb Mt. Everest for the ninth time (in 2019, she climbed the mountain in only 12 days). In June, she became head of South Korean diplomacy and in July, she took over Brazilian judo. In October, she was chosen by the Prime Minister of Ethiopia to become Minister of Defense of the country, before taking the head of the Federal Supreme Court of the country. On October 30, she was appointed Prefect of Brittany. At the end of November, she became chief of staff of the Slovenian armies.

From the end of 2018, she developed her passions for crafts by winning the title of Best Worker of France in welding, while she simultaneously took up the functions of general manager of Air France.

In early 2019, she took up her duties as chief economist of the International Monetary Fund; she was also appointed in February ambassador of Saudi Arabia to the United States, while winning the Grand Prix de la ville d'Angoulême, which rewarded her entire career in comics.

To the general amazement of the French media, she was authorized in 2019 to referee a Ligue 1 match before the women's soccer world cup, on a semi-voluntary basis, which left her three full days a week to fulfill her professional duties.

In March, a woman obtained permission to go out into space, by herself. The exit from the International Space Station was postponed by one semester for small clothing problems and completed – "in a white suit" – on October 18.

Meanwhile on Earth, she succeeded Michael Møller in May 2019 to at the head of the United Nations Office at Geneva. In July of the same year, she was appointed for the first time captain of the Greek Air Force. In August, she won an ultra-distance and unassisted bicycle race, the Transcontinental Race and, in the process, joined the rapid intervention brigade of the French gendarmerie.

In the fall of 2019, she took over as head of RBS, the Royal Bank of Scotland – five years after she became CEO of the Swiss National Bank, became Prime Minister of Belgium, and also took up her post at the head of the Sudanese Supreme Court and the military intelligence services of the Israeli army. At the same time, a woman also officiates as an imam in France.

Her experience of more than thirty years in the press enabled her to become the editorial director of the British daily, the Financial Times in 2019; she replaced Lionel Barber, who held this position for 14 years. She then was pleased to have reached a place where it is finally over with comments on her clothes.

In December 2019, a woman was appointed director of the Conservatoire de Paris, without losing sight of her fun activities since she won the world championship in darts and video games.

2020s
At the beginning of 2020, with “black hair cut square”, she was elected on the proposal of Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis to the “essentially honorary position” of President of Greece, and Pope Francis appointed her under secretary for multilateral relations of the section for relations with the states of the Secretariat of State.

In the space of a few months, she became head of both the Spanish Civil Guard and the secret services.

In February 2020, she also became CEO of Infrabel, the Belgian rail infrastructure manager. The same month, she took over the management of the Opéra de Lyon, while the Legrand group appointed her president of the board of directors with effect from July 1, 2020. She presented the television news of the public South Korean channel KBS five times a week.

On February 12th 2020 a woman was appointed CEO of Crédit mutuel Arkéa Bank, thus becoming "a rarity" in the banking community.

Later in April, she also became sports director of SC Bern, a Swiss ice hockey club playing in the National League.

In May 2020, she was simultaneously elected mayor of Tilloy-lez-Marchiennes (Nord), Lanvéoc (Finistère), Lacenas (Rhône), Saint-Carreuc. and even Vieure (Allier). On this momentum, the American libertarian party invested her on the same day as candidate for the America presidential election. The press then assumed that she would be the arbiter of the two other candidates, Joe Biden and Donald Trump.

On May 25, 2020, she declared herself a "candidate between quotes" for the episcopal seat of the archbishopric of Lyon.

On May 26, 2020, a woman won the "Best Young Economist 2020 Award" for her work on the effects of microeconomic production structures on the macroeconomic balance of international markets.

On June 2, 2020, she became the highest paid CEO in the world for the first time. She was also in charge of The Sims and appointed president of the Neuchâtel Cancer League. Three days later, she took charge of the Creuse firefighters.

On June 12, 2020, she continued her ascent by simultaneously becoming a stealth fighter pilot in the US Air Force and director of Human Spaceflight at NASA. Four days later, she was recognized as an artisanal brewer of organic green tea beer in Céret, in Pyrénées-Orientales, France.

Death
In France, she dies every two and a half days from beating by her partner.

Honors

 * 2008 : Silver Star Medal ribbon.svg Silver Star (USA).
 * 2010 : [[Image:Purple Heart ribbon.svg|50px]] Purple Heart.
 * 2012 : Medal of Military Valour ribbon bar.png Medal of Military Valour (Canada).
 * 2016 : Legion Honneur Chevalier ribbon.svg Légion d'Honneur (France).
 * 2019 :
 * Ordre national du Merite GO ribbon.svg Grand Officier of the Ordre national du Mérite (France).
 * Grand Prix de la ville d'Angoulême