Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Bob Mann (American football)/archive1

TFA blurb review
Bob Mann (April 8, 1924 – October 21, 2006) was an American professional football player in the National Football League and the first black player for both the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers. He played college football at Hampton Institute in 1942 and 1943 and at the University of Michigan in 1944, 1946 and 1947. Playing the end position, he broke the Big Ten Conference record for receiving yards in 1946 and 1947. In 1948 Mann signed a professional contract with the Detroit Lions, where he stayed for two seasons. He led the National Football League in receiving yards and yards per reception in 1949. After a brief stint with the New York Yanks he signed with the Green Bay Packers, where he was the team's leading receiver in 1951. He remained with the Packers through the 1954 season. Mann later became a lawyer and practiced in Detroit. He was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 1988 and was posthumously inducted into the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame in 2016.

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Bob Mann (April 8, 1924 – October 21, 2006) was an American professional football player in the National Football League. A native of New Bern, North Carolina, he played college football at Hampton Institute in 1942 and 1943 and at the University of Michigan in 1944, 1946 and 1947. Playing the end position, he broke the Big Ten Conference record for receiving yards in 1946 and 1947. In 1948 Mann signed his first professional football contract with the Detroit Lions, where he stayed for two seasons. He led the National Football League in receiving yards and yards per reception in 1949. After a brief stint with the New York Yanks in August 1950, he signed with the Green Bay Packers, where he was the team's leading receiver in 1951. He remained with the Packers through the 1954 season. Mann later became a lawyer and practiced in Detroit. He was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 1988 and was posthumously inducted into the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame in 2016.

Gonzo_fan2007 and Cbl62: This is just a suggested blurb ... thoughts and edits are welcome. We're finishing up blurbs for FACs promoted in September. - Dank (push to talk) 00:21, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Thanks for the ping. There are two key points (IMO) that are missing from the blurb: (1) his pioneering status as the first African-American to play for both the Lions and Packers; and (2) his claim that he was railroaded out of the NFL when he refused to accept a pay cut after leading the NFL in receiving yards. Cbl62 (talk) 00:31, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Pinging Gog the Mild. The first point is fine; for the second, I think it depends on what the sources say. And of course, we're short on space here. - Dank (push to talk) 02:07, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Understood. Of the two, the first is more central in any event. Cbl62 (talk) 02:11, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Sure. Would it be possible to say "one of the first Black players in [whatever]"? That might save a little space, but if you'd rather that we be specific, that's fine. - Dank (push to talk) 02:15, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * (I meant that "in [whatever]" might save space ... I don't have an opinion on Black vs. African-American, though Black seems to be trending.) - Dank (push to talk) 04:26, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * The complicating factor is that there were black players in the NFL in the 1920s. The league then imposed a race barrier. After the war, the league desegregated.  So calling him one of the first black players in the NFL seems to ignore the earlier period of integration.  How about "...the first black player for two separate NFL franchises"? Cbl62 (talk) 04:49, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * As I look at my proposal, it doesn't save more than a handful of characters. Most precise would be "...the first black player for both the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers." Cbl62 (talk) 04:50, 23 December 2020 (UTC)

Bob Mann (April 8, 1924 – October 21, 2006) was an American professional football player in the National Football League and the first black player for both the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers. He played college football at Hampton Institute in 1942 and 1943 and at the University of Michigan in 1944, 1946 and 1947. Playing the end position, he broke the Big Ten Conference record for receiving yards in 1946 and 1947. In 1948 Mann signed a professional contract with the Detroit Lions, where he stayed for two seasons. He led the National Football League in receiving yards and yards per reception in 1949. After a brief stint with the New York Yanks he signed with the Green Bay Packers, where he was the team's leading receiver in 1951. He remained with the Packers through the 1954 season. Mann later became a lawyer and practiced in Detroit. He was inducted into the Green Bay Packers Hall of Fame in 1988 and the Michigan Sports Hall of Fame in 2016.

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How does this look?
 * Looks good to me. Thanks for doing it. Cbl62 (talk) 11:23, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * De nade. Good. Thanks for the helpful contributions, and, most of all, for the article.
 * You may be interested in contributing to the discussion here Gog the Mild (talk) 11:47, 23 December 2020 (UTC)
 * Looks good to me! Thanks! « Gonzo fan2007  (talk)  @ 16:17, 28 December 2020 (UTC)