Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Hathor/archive1

TFA blurb review
Any thoughts or edits? (I'm posting this one early because I'll be tied up with another project for almost a month starting on the 13th. I don't know when this will be promoted at FAC.) - Dank (push to talk) 23:48, 6 March 2019 (UTC)

Hathor was a major goddess in ancient Egyptian religion. As a sky deity, she was the mother or consort of the sky god Horus and the sun god Ra, and the symbolic mother of their earthly representatives, the pharaohs. She was one of several goddesses who acted as the Eye of Ra, Ra's feminine counterpart, and in this form she had a vengeful aspect that protected him from his enemies. Her beneficent side represented music, dance, joy, love, sexuality and maternal care. These two aspects of the goddess exemplified the Egyptian conception of femininity. Hathor crossed boundaries between worlds, helping deceased souls in the transition to the afterlife. She was often depicted as a cow, although her most common form was a woman wearing a headdress of cow horns and a sun disk. More temples were dedicated to her than to any other goddess; her most prominent temple was Dendera. She was one of the deities commonly invoked in private prayers and votive offerings, particularly by women desiring children.


 * Looks good to me, except I'd replace the last sentence with "She was one of the deities commonly invoked in private prayers and votive offerings, particularly by women desiring children." I think it gives a better indication of her significance and character. A. Parrot (talk) 01:53, 7 March 2019 (UTC)
 * Did that, but now we're at 1047 characters, how do we get it back down to 1025? - Dank (push to talk) 02:00, 7 March 2019 (UTC)


 * Phooey, forgot how stringent the blurb limit is nowadays. Dendera's location isn't all that important, and the context of the sentence indicates that it's a temple. Shortening the second-to-last sentence to "…of which the most prominent was Dendera" would remove 22 characters and make exactly 1025. Does that work? A. Parrot (talk) 02:37, 7 March 2019 (UTC)
 * 1025. Ding ding! - Dank (push to talk) 03:07, 7 March 2019 (UTC)

I just noticed I put a misplaced modifier in the lead, which was reproduced in the blurb: "More temples were dedicated to her than to any other goddess, of which the most prominent was Dendera." Changing it to "More temples were dedicated to her than to any other goddess; her most prominent temple was Dendera" may not be the most elegant solution, but it's the first one that came to my mind, and it actually reduces the blurb length by two characters. A. Parrot (talk) 22:10, 1 September 2019 (UTC)