Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Neferefre/archive1

TFA blurb review
Neferefre was an ancient Egyptian pharaoh of the Fifth Dynasty in the 25th century BC, during the Old Kingdom period. Known as prince Ranefer before he ascended the throne, he was probably the eldest son of pharaoh Neferirkare Kakai and queen Khentkaus II. Neferefre started a pyramid for himself in the royal necropolis of Abusir and was buried in it, although it was unfinished. The pyramid was roughly completed by his brother Nyuserre Ini, who succeeded him after the rule of Shepseskare. Fragments of Neferefre's mummy indicate that he died in his early twenties, after two years of reign. A single text shows that he had planned or just started to build a sun temple called Hotep-Re, meaning "Ra is content" or "Ra's offering table". Like other Fifth Dynasty kings, he benefited from a funerary cult, but the cult was abandoned by the late Old Kingdom. Because his pyramid and mortuary complex were unfinished, they may have attracted less attention from grave and stone robbers than nearby pyramids.

Iry-Hor, we're almost done with the blurbs for articles promoted at FAC in 2018. Thoughts and edits are welcome. - Dank (push to talk) 16:22, 13 December 2019 (UTC)


 * That is a very good blurb, I only have a couple of things that come to my mind. May I suggest a few modifications? 1) Could the last sentence start with "Consequently," so we see the link with the previous one: "...stone robbers than nearby pyramids. Consequently, more statues...". 2) The salient point about Neferefre is that he had a short 2 years reign, died young and was succeeded by an ephemeral king and then by his brother would completed his monuments. To bundle this up in a few words I propose "in his early twenties"-->"in his early twenties, after two years of reign." and "although it was never finished." ---> "although it was never finished. The pyramid was rather roughly completed in a much reduced form by his brother Nyuserre Ini, who succeeded him after the enigmatic and ephemeral rule of Shepseskare." This could make the blurb too long though, in which case the last sentence about statues could be removed: it is an anecdotal fact of lesser importance I think.Iry-Hor (talk) 21:02, 13 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Thanks. John worked on this blurb, I've emailed him. - Dank (push to talk) 22:05, 13 December 2019 (UTC)
 * He worked on this in his sandbox, and I've pasted it in. How does it look? - Dank (push to talk) 23:36, 13 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Yes this is even better thanks !Iry-Hor (talk) 15:14, 15 December 2019 (UTC)