Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Pirates of the Caribbean: Armada of the Damned/archive1

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

 * Pirates of the Caribbean: Armada of the Damned was an action-adventure role-playing video game that was being developed by Propaganda Games for the Xbox 360, PlayStation 3, and Microsoft Windows platforms. - Mention that it's cancelled in the first sentence. It will explain the tenses a lot easier.
 * Done.


 * Armada of the Damned was the second attempt to create an open-world game based on the franchise - the first?
 * Actually, it's the first. No idea why it said the second.


 * 2009's Electronic Entertainment Expo - per WP:SEAOFBLUE, we should avoid having two blue links next to each other.
 * Wha? it was a single link... SOmebody changed it. Changed it back to a single link.
 * Comment: I made it two links because in a previous FAC of mine, a reviewer (who was a non-gamer) did not understand what E3 (with year) was and had to go through two articles (the article with the year, then to the E3 article itself) from the link I provided just to find out what Electronic Entertainment Expo was. -- JDC808  ♫  05:34, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Ooh, now I see why. I might change it to Electronic Entertainment Expo of 2009 then. — ΛΧΣ  21  05:59, 7 July 2013 (UTC)
 * Or you could keep as is and just put "E3" in parenthesis after that with "E3" being linked to the main E3 article. I don't believe there would be issues with blue links then. -> "2009's Electronic Entertainment Expo (E3)" -- JDC808  ♫  16:47, 7 July 2013 (UTC)


 * third-person action-adventure role-playing - Oh the pirates sail the seas of blue...
 * Rewritten to void so much blue together.


 * Sterling's features could be customized by the player. Gameplay in Armada of the Damned was centered around a choice system that would affect the character's appearance, personality, weapons, attacks, quests, and story developments. - So could Sterling both be customized by the player and by the player's choices, or indirectly customized by the player through his/her choices?
 * By both. Some of his features are customized directly by the player, and other by their choices.


 * Legendary and Dreaded - Any relation to good/evil alignment (like in D&D)?
 * Yes. This is explained in the plot section.


 * had several unique default sets that shaped the way the game was experienced, - sets of what?
 * "Features" is better than "sets". Replaced.


 * Land combat was similar to most role-playing games. Sterling had a light and a heavy attack, which could be combined to create combos that increased the damage he inflicted. - This sounds like real-time attack (mostly common in Western RPGs), rather than turn-based (JRPGs, particularly FF). Might want to differentiate between the two, or at least point to Pausable real-time.
 * It is real time like Western RPGs. Fixed.


 * curse - link to the correct meaning (curse as in magic, rather than curse as in a swear word)
 * Linked to Magic (gaming), which was the only one I found. Curse (gaming) doesn't exist yet.


 * If the ship was boarded and the enemy crew was eliminated, the player received more loot than if the enemy ship was destroyed. - If the player's ship was boarded, or if a player boarded an enemy's ship? Very key difference, not quite clear from your wording here.
 * Added that the ship that's boarded is the enemy one. Ha.


 * The game was to follow James Sterling, a pirate captain whose main mission was to travel across the Caribbean and make a reputation for himself. - you've repeated this sentence three times already
 * Oops. Removed.


 * Part of #Plot sounds like gameplay
 * Yeah, they were very tied and as little info was revealed, I had a hard time trying to separate them.


 * dark - as in nighttime? Different word.
 * Changed to obscure. Hope it works.
 * That's definitely not what they meant in the source; how can you fear something you don't know? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:13, 7 July 2013 (UTC)


 * Suggest merging #Gameplay and #Plot, as there is a lot of overlap
 * I removed all gameplay-repeated details from plot. Now it looks more like a plot section hehe.


 * the development of action-adventure and role-playing games for Disney. - Link the genres. Also, I love how we contrast "Disney" with Turok: Dinosaur Hunter
 * Is that good or bad?
 * My main point was the genres, assuming they aren't linked elsewhere. The Disney/Turok was just a bit of snark. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:13, 7 July 2013 (UTC)


 * Armada of the Damned was supposed to include an interactive choice system to shape the game, making choices an important feature. - Above you say that it did include a choice system
 * Changed to "included". Ooops.


 * Still more overlap, such as "The game world included land and sea locations across an open world environment. It was technically enhanced for standard third-person combat and naval combat."
 * Removed the overlapping text.


 * feel familiar to the characters featured in the films. - Holy alliteration, Batman! Any way to rework this?
 * Added Pirates of the Caribbean before "films".


 * When did Propaganda first announce this game? Turok was 1999, and the article talks about "films", meaning after Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006). That's a long span.
 * The article says when on the #Reception section: it was announced in 2009.


 * An original music score was written for Armada of the Damned, - by whom?
 * Let me take a look. I think that the composer's name was never revealed.


 * "Disney Interactive Studios confirms the cancellation of the Pirates of the Caribbean: Armada of the Damned video game which was scheduled to be released in 2011." - We really don't need a quote box for this.


 * In October 2010, Disney Interactive Studios announced that Armada of the Damned development team would be laid off as part of a restructuring program. Disney also announced that Propaganda would finish development of Tron: Evolution and its planned post-launch downloadable content. - Could be combined.
 * Tweaked. DOn't know how to merge them...


 * Any way to avoid saying Tron: Evolution four times in two sentences?
 * Yes. Tweaked.


 * Most journalists -- followed by a whole bunch of depressed comments. Most means there were some happy ones. Anywhere? Also, this paragraph would go best in the next section.
 * Well, no. They all felt dissapointed...


 * Overall very nice, although there are some structural and grammatical issues. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 12:22, 5 July 2013 (UTC)