Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Santa Maria de Ovila/archive2

Addressed comments from Crisco 1492

 * "These stones are now in various locations around California: the old church portal has been reassembled at the University of San Francisco, other stones are serving as simple decorative elements in Golden Gate Park's botanical garden, and the chapter house is being reassembled by Trappist monks at the Abbey of New Clairvaux in Vina, California." - Why not put the bits that are being reassembled together, and leave the loose stones for the last clause?
 * Done. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Martin de Finojosa - Worth a redlink? He's been canonized, after all.
 * How about a Spanish wikilink? I inserted a piped link to es:Martín de Hinojosa. I could also go with a bare red link. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I generally prefer a bare red link as a Spanish article is useless to many of our readers.
 * Yes, no links to non-English Wikipedias, please. - Dank (push to talk) 15:09, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Okay, a redlink: Martin de Finojosa. Binksternet (talk) 16:48, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * "To the west of the cloister stands a barrel-vaulted great nave." - Why the shift in tense in this paragraph?
 * Done, part of earlier fixes. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Paragraph after that as well.
 * Done. Paragraphs consolidated earlier. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "Even at its height, Óvila remained one of the smallest Cistercian monasteries in the region of Castile." - Worth a "however" here, since we've been talking about its expansion?
 * Done. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "Subsequent wars caused considerable losses and major economic damage to the property" - Economic damage to a property? Or physical damage? I have trouble visualising property as having economic damage.
 * Hmm?
 * Recast this bit. Introduced the damage from the Peninsular War during 1810–1811, from French troops quartered in the monastery. Binksternet (talk) 16:48, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "The fatal blow..." - Seems a little flowery for an encyclopedia.
 * Done: "The monastery ceased to operate" Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "the Confiscations" - Why the capital C?
 * It's the proper common name of a government law. Binksternet (talk) 16:48, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "The Abadologio, a comprehensive and thorough history of the Cistercian monks who lived in the monastery, is kept at the Monastery of Santa María la Real of Oseira." - Another tense shift.
 * Done. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "The monastery project had cost Hearst about one million dollars during 1930–31." - Today's money?
 * I was hoping context would fix the price at one million 1931 US dollars. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I ask because $97,000 to $1 million is a big jump
 * 1931 dollars specified. Binksternet (talk) 16:48, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * More to follow. Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:59, 2 May 2012 (UTC)


 * More:
 * "a few buildings remain of the original monastery in Spain. These include the foundations of the church and the winery or bodega, now the oldest surviving building on the site." - First, are the foundations considered buildings? Second, is the bodega whole(-ish), or do just the foundations survive?
 * Done. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * I note that you use the convert template 27 by in the Spanish ruins section, but have hardcoded measurements above. Shouldn't this be standardised? You mix it up several other times later.
 * One of the instances is the following: "with a three-foot-thick (1 m) mat of concrete and steel". I thought that " 3 ft thick mat of concrete and steel " (displaying as "3 ft thick mat of concrete and steel") was less attractive because it separated "three-foot" from "thick". Same with "seven-foot-thick (2 m) walls"; the other instance. Basically, I don't like the look of the adjectival form of the convert template. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)
 * I personally prefer having both numbers together, as one would not read something "thick 1 m concrete". Does the MOS have a bit about this?
 * By convention, either way is okay. - Dank (push to talk) 15:09, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "incurring annual storage fees of $15,000" - in modern dollars or 1930s dollars?
 * Done: "in 1930s dollars". Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * What's the policy for geocoordinates in line?
 * I acknowledge that inline coordinates are not pretty prose of the sort you want in a book, but they are part of Wikipedia and they allow linking several locations within one article. Most articles are not that complicated—they have one location, or none—but this one discusses several spots, and I wanted the curious reader to be able to find them. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * "The current abbot of the Abbey of New Clairvaux, Thomas X. Davis, first saw the stones and pictured them reassembled as a monastery on September 15, 1955—his first day in California. He arrived that day in San Francisco to serve as a new monk in Vina, California, at Our Lady of New Clairvaux, Trappists of the order known as Cistercians of the Strict Observance, whose land was once used by Leland Stanford to grow wine grapes." - That is a monster sentence and difficult to parse. Perhaps trim / split it.
 * Done, part of an earlier fix. Binksternet (talk) 04:11, 4 May 2012 (UTC)


 * Hmm... The prose reads rather choppy in places, but the article does seem fairly complete. Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:11, 2 May 2012 (UTC)
 * Okay, I'm leaning support pending a couple issues above. Crisco 1492 (talk) 14:55, 4 May 2012 (UTC)