Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Song of Innocence/archive1


 * tone poem suite - Any way to split the two links?
 * How do you mean? Merging them as one?
 * Break them up so we don't have two different links next to each other. For example, instead of Zimbabwean waterfall, we could have waterfall in Zimbabwe. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * link tempo, perhaps?
 * Done.
 * musical eccentrics - Huh?
 * "Eccentric" is used as a noun here; they were unconventional artists I guess. The source uses this phrase.
 * Might need quotation marks here. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * serious music - Why not art music?
 * The source uses "serious"; "serious music" redirects to the "art music" article, so I piped it that way. Dan56 (talk) 02:07, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Fair enough, although I think it implies that other forms of music are not "serious" — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Order of #Recording is unclear: it goes recorded, composed, recorded... I'm assuming he actually composed the album before recording it.
 * Rearranged.
 * veteran studio musicians - doesn't seem neutral.
 * Also per source; this definition is pretty accurate in describing them too and doesn't seem to have nonneutral tone.
 * Alright.
 * He had learned how to read and orchestrate complex music charts from jazz musicians during the 1950s. - Relevance?
 * Provides a little background after mentioning the charts he notated for this album; relevant as it's his first album and ties in to the album's jazz influence. Dan56 (talk) 02:18, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * For people who don't know what a notated chart is, the connection is rather unclear... — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * I meant as background on Axelrod, not notated charts, although the article on chord charts says (albeit unsourced) that "it is the most common form of notation used by professional session musicians playing jazz or popular music."
 * More later. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 01:32, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * impressionistic classical figures - Another string of links that blend into each other, making it unclear whether the link goes to an article on impressionistic classical figures, or impressionistic classical figures, or... — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Changed to "impressionistic musical figures" ; looked up "impressionistic music" and it's part of "classical".
 * Its music also incorporates ... theatre music - repetition
 * Piped as "theatre".
 * Citations needed immediately after direct quotes
 * Done.
 * Its sparse arrangements evoke dramatic, harrowing musical moments that intersperse the album's mostly euphoric psychedelic R&B form. - This is a critical judgment, should be attributed
 * Revised and attributed to the writer.
 * The last paragraph of #Composition is essentially illegible to anyone unfamiliar with music theory. Simplification would be nice.
 * Broke it down a little.
 * That's it for today, but here's some overlinking for you to fix: rock and idiom (#Composition), Allmusic (#Reception). Also, per WP:ALSO Songs of Innocence and of Experience should not be in #See also, as it's already linked in the body. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 02:48, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Unlinked, and removed. Dan56 (talk) 04:17, 29 March 2013 (UTC)


 * One image issue: File:Blake Innocence Title.jpg has no indication that this was an early printing. Anything done after 1923 may still be copyrighted in the US. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:21, 29 March 2013 (UTC)


 * It looks like it's one of these, all of which are from before the 20th century. Dan56 (talk) 04:37, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Alright, so you'll have to add the information to the description box on the image page (or just upload one of these with the proper information, I kinda like the colours on "copy A, 1795") — Crisco 1492 (talk) 06:25, 29 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. Dan56 (talk) 07:19, 29 March 2013 (UTC)


 * premier disc jockeys - Why is "premier" necessary?
 * Signify importance, not just the millions of DJs that are/have been out there. Source uses "leading disc jockeys". Dan56 (talk) 00:01, 30 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Leading could also be popular, while premier suggests quality and exclusivity. I'd stick with leading. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 00:08, 30 March 2013 (UTC)
 * Done. Dan56 (talk) 00:11, 30 March 2013 (UTC)


 * landmark is another weasel word
 * Replaced with "influential"? Dan56 (talk) 00:01, 30 March 2013 (UTC)


 * Otherwise that's it from me. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 23:41, 29 March 2013 (UTC)