Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Spalding War Memorial/archive1

TFA blurb review
Spalding War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the gardens of Ayscoughfee Hall in Spalding, Lincolnshire, in eastern England. It was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The proposal originated with Barbara McLaren; her husband Francis McLaren, the town's Member of Parliament, was killed during the war. Lutyens produced a plan for a cross in a grand memorial cloister surrounding a circular pond. The memorial was to be built in the Hall's formal gardens, which were owned by the local council. After a public meeting and a vote in 1919, a reduced-scale version emerged as the preferred option. The memorial consists of a brick pavilion at the south end of the garden and a Stone of Remembrance, both at the head of a long reflecting pool. The design was not used in any of Lutyens' other war memorials but it influenced several of his cemeteries on the Western Front. The memorial was unveiled at a ceremony on 9 June 1922, and is a grade I listed building.

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Spalding War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the gardens of Ayscoughfee Hall in Spalding, Lincolnshire, in eastern England. It was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The proposal originated with Barbara McLaren; her husband Francis McLaren, the town's Member of Parliament, was killed during the war. Lutyens produced a plan for a cross in a grand memorial cloister surrounding a circular pond. The memorial was to be built in the Hall's formal gardens, which were owned by the local council. After a public meeting and a vote in 1919, a reduced-scale version emerged as the preferred option, in conjunction with a clock on the town's corn exchange building. The memorial consists of a brick pavilion at the south end of the garden and a Stone of Remembrance, both at the head of a long reflecting pool, which incorporates the remains of an 18th-century canal. The memorial was unveiled at a ceremony on 9 June 1922. Although the design was not replicated in Lutyens' other war memorials, it influenced several of his cemeteries on the Western front. Spalding War Memorial is today a grade I listed building.

998 characters, including spaces.

Hi Harry and anyone else interested: a draft blurb for this article is above. Thoughts, comments and edits are welcome. Gog the Mild (talk) 23:04, 19 January 2020 (UTC)
 * Added a sentence. Should still be well within the character limit but feel free to tweak as desired. :) HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 16:52, 27 February 2020 (UTC)


 * Hi Harry: I hope that things are good with you, and I am aware that I still owe you a beer. Re the additional sentence, that takes us to 1,132 characters - including spaces - against a limit of 1,025. Ie, we need to slim the existing version by nearly 10%.


 * How would you feel about: "Spalding War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the gardens of Ayscoughfee Hall in Spalding, Lincolnshire, in eastern England. It was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The proposal originated with Barbara McLaren; her husband Francis McLaren, the town's Member of Parliament, was killed during the war. Lutyens produced a plan for a cross in a grand memorial cloister surrounding a circular pond. The memorial was to be built in the Hall's formal gardens, which were owned by the local council. After a public meeting and a vote in 1919, a reduced-scale version emerged as the preferred option. The memorial consists of a brick pavilion at the south end of the garden and a Stone of Remembrance, both at the head of a long reflecting pool, which incorporates the remains of an 18th-century canal. The design influenced several of Lutyens' cemeteries on the Western front. The memorial was unveiled at a ceremony on 9 June 1922. Spalding War Memorial is today a grade I listed building."


 * 1,007 characters, including spaces.


 * Gog the Mild (talk) 17:20, 27 February 2020 (UTC)
 * Ah, my mistake. I thought the limit was 1200 characters? But I'm not as "in the loop" as I used to be (I'd like to fix that, but it's a case of finding the time!). How does "The design was not used in any of Lutyens' other war memorials but it influenced several of his cemeteries on the Western Front. The memorial was unveiled at a ceremony on 9 June 1922, and is a grade I listed building." work? We could probably cut out "which incorporates the remains of an 18th-century canal" without any great loss of context if we need to save characters, and at a push "at a ceremony" could go. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts?  17:40, 27 February 2020 (UTC)


 * Tell me about it. I sometimes think that I am trying to use a candle to illuminate the vast cathedral of Wikipedia. How 'bout: "Spalding War Memorial is a First World War memorial in the gardens of Ayscoughfee Hall in Spalding, Lincolnshire, in eastern England. It was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens. The proposal originated with Barbara McLaren; her husband Francis McLaren, the town's Member of Parliament, was killed during the war. Lutyens produced a plan for a cross in a grand memorial cloister surrounding a circular pond. The memorial was to be built in the Hall's formal gardens, which were owned by the local council. After a public meeting and a vote in 1919, a reduced-scale version emerged as the preferred option. The memorial consists of a brick pavilion at the south end of the garden and a Stone of Remembrance, both at the head of a long reflecting pool. The design was not used in any of Lutyens' other war memorials but it influenced several of his cemeteries on the Western Front. The memorial was unveiled at a ceremony on 9 June 1922, and is a grade I listed building."


 * 980 characters, including spaces.


 * Gog the Mild (talk) 18:01, 27 February 2020 (UTC)
 * That works for me! :) HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 19:59, 27 February 2020 (UTC)