Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates/Tower Hill Memorial/archive1

TFA blurb review
The Tower Hill Memorial is a pair of Commonwealth War Graves Commission memorials in Trinity Square, on Tower Hill in London, England. The memorials, one for the First World War and one for the Second, commemorate more than 36,000 men and women of the Merchant Navy and fishing fleets who were killed as a result of enemy action and have no known grave. The dead are named on bronze panels ordered by the ships they served on. The first memorial, the Mercantile Marine War Memorial (pictured), was commissioned following the heavy losses sustained by merchant shipping in the First World War. It was designed by Sir Edwin Lutyens and unveiled by Queen Mary in 1928. The second, the Merchant Seamen's Memorial, is a semi-circular sunken garden designed by Sir Edward Maufe and unveiled by Queen Elizabeth II in November 1955. A third memorial, commemorating merchant sailors who were killed in the 1982 Falklands War, was added to the site in 2005. The memorials to the world wars are listed buildings.

Just a suggested blurb ... thoughts and edits are welcome. - Dank (push to talk) 16:04, 24 November 2019 (UTC) Pinging HJ Mitchell; we're doing blurbs for articles promoted at FAC in the third quarter of 2018. (No rush on this, it will probably be a while before we run it.) - Dank (push to talk) 01:58, 25 November 2019 (UTC)
 * As HJ has not been around for a while and I worked on this article as well, I'll comment here. The blurb looks fine, I'd suggest dropping "relatives of those named on it were invited to lay flowers" if you need to save space (or leave it if not a problem, but mentioning this and not mentioning the "large crowd" that attended the WWI memorial unveiling feels unbalanced - I'd drop mention of this as it is not unexpected). The numbers commemorated (casualties and numbers of ships) would be worth including (e.g. "over 35,000 casualties" and "over 8000 ships" across both wars). The Falklands War memorial could be dropped from the blurb to save/make room if needed (it is in the main article). Also, no need to say in the blurb that the Falklands War memorial is unlisted. Just staying silent on that implies it is not listed, and people can go to the article if they want to check. Links to merchant navy that I've just added to the article can go in as well. I'll make a couple of changes now. Carcharoth (talk) 13:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Good to see you, Carcharoth. We're at 972 characters now (blurbs range from 925 to 1025). Feel free to make those edits. - Dank (push to talk) 14:09, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * I left in the Falklands War memorial bit and made these changes. I think that is still within the character limit. Nothing more to add or change. Carcharoth (talk) 16:02, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * 980 characters, looks good. - Dank (push to talk) 16:03, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Looks like a decent blurb to me. It might be worth seeing if we can squeeze in a mention of the ships (just the number or the fact that the names are ordered by their ship) to emphasise its nautical connections, and I'd like the mention of the Falklands memorial to stay if it's not taking up too much prime real estate just because it shows that the site has ongoing significance but I'm not wedded to it. In terms of dates, although it's quite a way in the future, 3 September (Merchant Navy Day) might work quite well. HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 21:41, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * Hope life is treating you well, Harry. Yes, there's room for 45 more characters ... add whatever you like. - Dank (push to talk) 22:20, 4 December 2019 (UTC)
 * This tweak to incorporate what Harry suggested is still in the limits, I think. I resisted the temptation to link to the subsidiary article (List of ships named on the Tower Hill Memorial) as that is not complete (or intended to be complete) and would risk detracting from the main article. Those who want to find that information will find their way there (from 'see also' in the main article). Carcharoth (talk) 12:50, 5 December 2019 (UTC)
 * I like that. Thanks Carch! HJ Mitchell &#124; Penny for your thoughts? 19:01, 8 December 2019 (UTC)