Wikipedia talk:Mediation Cabal/medintro

Okay, we are doing a mediation


 * Alice: person having trouble with Bob
 * Bob: person having trouble with Alice
 * Mary: our gentle Mediator

First of all, Alice and Bob might not be talking with each other, so Mary is a go-between and filter.

In a worst case scenario, Alice and Bob should not see each other at first, else they might just fight. Later you can bring them together.
 * Mary should try to find out what Alice wants, and what Alice is able to concede
 * Mary should try to find out what Bob wants, and what Bob is able to concede
 * Mary speaks with both, applying active listening, as necessary
 * Mary filters what both say, until they're comfortable enough to speak with each other directly


 * Mary: Hello Alice, what's up?
 * Mary *listens...
 * Alice: That ($*(@#$*(#*($* BOB! He ($893489*$(#*$($*($ and (*(@*#(@*#(* to *(@#*(@#*(@# so he can just go and take a ($@($*(*$ and stuff it up his (*$($*(#*($#$#$ with a (@#*(#!(@#*@!(#!!!!!!!!
 * Mary: So you're saying you disagree with some of his edits?
 * Alice: You can *@#(*(# bet I do! He totally (@*#(18239!# Foopage.
 * Mary: I see, so what would you like to see changed about that?
 * Alice: Bob should @(#(@#*(@# leave that alone, and maybe listen to me for once!

Bob is slightly less mad in this case, (else I have to type all that #*$&#*$& all over again ;-) )


 * Mary: Hello Bob... so what's up?
 * Bob: I'm having some trouble with Alice. All I hear is "@&#*@&#*#"
 * Mary: Hmm, odd... well, I've talked with Alice and she was quite reasonable with me really. She says you made some edits to Foopage she disagrees about...
 * Bob: Wow, that's much more coherent than anything I've ever heard before. Maybe I misjudged Alice.
 * Mary: Yeah, and she wonders if maybe you'd listen to her, what would you like in return?
 * Mary * listens...
 * Bob: You're serious? Well, if she could stop reverting edits about flurbles... I triplechecked those!

Back to Alice
 * Mary: Heya Alice, I talked with Bob, and he seems like a nice guy, if you're polite to him
 * Mary: He made a compliment about your reasonableness in this case even!
 * Alice: The @@#*(@#*... he DID? Wow...
 * Alice: Maybe I misjudged him just a little...
 * Alice: So what else did he say?
 * Mary: Well...
 * Mary: He's a bit unhappy about flurbeling
 * Alice: Oh no, flurbeling... didn't we discuss that like, 10 times... what's his hangup with that?
 * Mary: Well, he did say he researched it really really well, he even has references. I guess he doesn't like just getting reverted after all that hard work... does that seem reasonable
 * Alice: Hmmm... maybe

At this point, both parties are already less mad. You've reduced the temperature enough that they might be able to speak with each other directly...