Wikipedia talk:United States Education Program/Courses/Global Enterprise and Sustainable Development (Ming Xu)/Sandbox UK green building council

Patrick Nolan Review (nopatric) Your site is coming together very well and is a huge improvement over the previously existing page on the UK Green Building Council. The content is all very solid and informative and most of my suggestions center around re-organization for better flow of the page. First of all, I think an introduction section that provides a brief executive summary of the organization is imperative: as a matter of fact it is a requirement of the assignment I believe. You have already gathered plenty of information for this, but I’d suggest just throwing together a short paragraph for the introduction before formation.

Also, as stated in our previous review, I’d suggest putting the structure section before the sections currently called “goals” and “challenges” so that readers can get a feel for the organization before you outline the other aspects.

I think the content under the section titled challenges is very valuable and should remain on the page. However, I don’t think challenges is the best heading for this suggestion. It seems to me you’re trying to communicate why green building councils are important, and you do a good job. But I would change the title to something that better captures the concept that green building councils are necessary.

I am pretty confused by the last section called associated policies and government. It seems out of place, and I’m not really sure what you’re trying to communicate. I’m sure it’s important to include, but I think you should provide some context for the information in this section.

Also, as mentioned in our last review, consider adding a section called something like “recent accomplishments” to keep readers updated on progress of the UK Green Building Council.

Remember to add two more figures and at least more references before you submit the final. I’m sure you guys are already planning to do this.

If I were to assign a current grade I would give it a 9/10. I'm confident the final site will be awesome.

Brand Koster Review (brandnk) Your wiki site for the UK green building council has a great deal of information and looks as though you put a good deal of time into its creation. I have some suggestions for you on how you can better organize and format your page to provide for an overall clearer presentation. First of all in the grading requirements listed on the Wiki Project handout it states that all wiki pages must have an Introduction paragraph aimed at the general public. Your wiki page is currently lacking an introduction. I would recommend moving the goals section to the top of the page and renaming it introduction while keeping the sub-section (Other Objections) but changing its name to ‘Goals’. Registered Charity doesn’t quite make sense being under ‘goals’. It should be in its own section, or integrated properly into the introduction. You should also consider renaming the ‘Challenges’ section. I find its name to be misleading and confusing. It could maybe be a subsection in your Introduction, but you information will then need to be tailored appropriately. The ‘Benefits’ section could be renamed ‘Benefits of Membership’, to more precisely construe your message. I enjoyed reading about the Successful Programs and Criticisms, but make sure you capitalize the title and properly format your content (it looks as though it was copied then pasted out of word). You last paragraph looks out of place (Associated Policies and Government Involvement). Title is not appropriate, possibly change it to ‘Current Policies’ or move it to different location on the wiki. Also, if you are to receive full credit on this project you will want to have all your information properly cited, have at least 8 sources, and at least 3 figures. You currently have none of your work cited, only 5 sources, and only 1 figure. You have some work to do on your page, good luck. — Preceding unsigned comment added by Brandnk (talk • contribs) 23:22, 28 November 2011 (UTC)

Zac Fortier Peer review (zfortier24) The UK building council has done a great job in gathering information and is well on their way to creating a successful wiki page. However we have a few suggestions for this group. 1)	The UK building council page is lacking a firm introduction. We would suggest that instead of going straight into the formation section that they would be better off moving and renaming the goals section to the top and titling it introduction while keeping the other objectives section a sub-section of Introduction and potentially renaming it as goals. 2)	We believe that the content under the section titled challenges is important to the page but challenges are not an important heading for the section. It seems like your trying to capture the necessity of green building councils, and we suggest that you choose a title that more accurately reflects this goal. 3)	You currently only have one figure and the project requires a minimum of 3. 4)	A minimum of 8 references are required and you currently have 5 5)	Your last section titled associated policies and government involvement our group was confused with your goals and aims of this section. We would suggest providing some context or examples in order to improve the clarity of this section — Preceding unsigned comment added by Zfortier24 (talk • contribs) 01:38, 29 November 2011 (UTC)

Madeline Caldwell Peer Review (mjcald)

Your wikipedia page is looking good! You have added a significant amount of information since the outline and it is really coming together to define the UK Green Building Council, it's purpose, and it's progress since it's formation. I do have several suggestions to improve and clean up your page, although many of them have already been mentioned by my teammates above. First of all I agree that there definitely needs to be an introduction paragraph that provides readers with a quick definition of the council. Also the "registered charity" sub-section under "Goals" doesn't seem to fit very well because it explains the councils role as a charitable organization and what it does in relation to this role, not specific goals that they have for charity. This "registered charity" information might make more since in the introduction of the council or perhaps in the structure section- somewhere that defines what the council does. The structure section of your page looks really good, the only suggestion I really have here is to clarify the title of the "benefits" section, even just to something like "benefits of membership". It may also be helpful to add a brief sentence or two to this section before listing the benefits explaining that there are many benefits that come with membership to the council and that they differ depending on membership status. Also would it be possible to add more information to the "progress.." section outlining more of the current projects of the council? Or like we mentioned in the first peer review it would be really neat to add an entire section of current programs, projects, events, and news from the council. I think once you make these few changes to improve the clarity and structure of your page and add a bit more content and a couple more figures that your page is going to be great! Mjcald4 (talk)

Paul Parent review (merpaul)

Thus far I think your wikipedia page has made huge progress since our last peer review. The content looks solid, and I only have a few suggestions for improvement. First off, I would add a concise introduction to cue the reader in to what the UK green building council is before you get started on their goals. I think the formation section could be briefly expanded and used as the introduction instead.

Additionally be sure to add at least 2 more figures as we are required to have 3. Also, I'm sure you're intending to do this but you need at least 3 additional sources to reach the required total of 8.

I think the "registered charity" section could be expounded on as well. It caught my eye that they are doing that, but the amount of information present left me wanting to know more about their specific charity work. Perhaps you could highlight a specific example or two of charity projects they've successfully undertaken.

Quick english fix: under "criticisms" the first two sentences both start with "The UK-Green Building Council" Maybe start the second one with "They"

Another quick grammatical fix: under "criticisms" the third sentence reads: "However, this not create real change…" but should read: "However, this does not create real change…"

If possible, the references should be numbered and linked to the appropriate spots on the wiki site where they are used.

Lastly, the "associated policies & government involvement" section reads awkwardly. It seems like important information, but the section could benefit from some rewording and further expansion to clarify their position in relation to government policy.

Overall, I think the site will be great when finished. It just needs a bit of polish and will be all set! If I had to assign it a grade I would give it a 9/10.

merpaul (talk) —Preceding undated comment added 05:15, 29 November 2011 (UTC).