Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/Backlog elimination drives/September 2018

Request for review
Hello!

I've copy edited the article Kaftan that was tagged in March and, as it's my first as part of this project, would greatly appreciate it if someone could have a look and let me know if it's acceptable and can be recorded as completed.

There are still a couple of things outstanding. In particular:

- a statement about etymology with a "citation needed" tag in the lead section that I'm unable to verify and confirm; and

- a sub-section on the Russian kaftan that reads as contradictory and needs clarification, but I can't see enough of the relevant text in the cited Google Books link to check and improve it.

As I was in doubt, I left these largely untouched other than to correct for expression.

Apart from reordering the sentences of the lead section, the most radical change is that I replaced the text of the short sub-section headed Southeast Asian, as recorded on the Talk page. I did this because the cited source was a website selling batik kaftans and the section text only concerned batik technique and contained no mention at all of kaftans, as a Southeast Asian garment or otherwise. My edit is fairly pared down, and instead cites a book source on the historical context.

Please also let me know if I should be working on articles by copying them to my personal sandbox and uploading the more-or-less finished work in one go rather than by progressively updating as I edit!

Thanks very much for your time and advice!

FiveFaintFootprints (talk) 20:15, 20 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Welcome to the GOCE, and thanks for your help. Your edits look good; don't worry about any citation-needed tags you find, since that's beyond the scope of copyediting. I've been doing this for almost eight years, and have always copyedited "live" (section by section, to minimize edit conflicts). Best to keep things as simple as possible; one's sandbox is best for working on a new article. Have fun and all the best,  Mini  apolis  22:29, 20 September 2018 (UTC)


 * Thank you so much for your feedback! That really helps clarify things - I wasn't sure about the unresolved tag, or the "live"/"sandbox" etiquette. I'll be bold and record the task as completed, and see how it fares. Having fun so far... FiveFaintFootprints (talk) 23:30, 20 September 2018 (UTC)

Şafak_Bakkalbaşıoğlu editing query
Hi! I've started editing a March article (Şafak_Bakkalbaşıoğlu) and have found a section I'm not sure what to do with. The section reads: Using finger camera as action camera for the first time in the world in Televizyon Çocuğu (Late Night Show), he highly impressed the show business, pushed the limits of multi-camera broadcasts and become a highly respected director. Aside from needing a citation, the first phrase is confusing and I wonder if it's a translation problem - perhaps meaning a hand camera rather than "finger camera"? Should I leave the phrase as-is, or alter it? Thanks! --Another Andy (talk) 12:21, 22 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Oofah, those machine translations (not to mention the promotionalism :-)). I'd change it to

Using a hand-held camera (I don't know what, if anything, "action camera" means) for the first time on Televizyon Çocuğu's Late Night Show, he expanded multi-camera broadcasts before becoming a director. or something similar. Thanks for you help and all the best,  Mini  apolis  14:03, 22 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for your help, Miniapolis, that's really useful. --Another Andy (talk) 17:33, 22 September 2018 (UTC)

Fixing long lead sections
Hi again! After working on a few shorter articles, I wanted to try something a little more challenging so I had a look at Sexual_assault_in_the_United_States_military and the first thing I noticed was that it has an overly long lead section that doesn't summarise the topic very well, and most of it can be moved elsewhere in the article. Firstly, I just wanted to check it's fine to do this as part of the copyedit, and secondly, would someone be able to review it after I've finished? Or, if you think it's better to leave it to a more experienced editor, just let me know. Thanks! --Another Andy (talk) 12:36, 25 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Per MOS:LEADLENGTH, the lead length should be proportional to the length of the article but generally no more than four paragraphs. In this article, the length seems okay. All the best,  Mini  apolis  13:38, 25 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Ah, okay, I see. Thanks for checking. Much appreciated, --Another Andy (talk) 18:14, 25 September 2018 (UTC)

Review request
I've completed a copy edit of the Sexual assault in the United States military article, but I'm not very confident in what I've done. Would a coordinator be able to review it please? In particular, the copy edit tag mentioned conciseness and cohesion, and I didn't see much I could do in those areas. If you can see parts that could be improved though, then I'm quite happy to revisit - an example would really help, if that's possible. Thanks. --Another Andy (talk) 13:40, 26 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Looks pretty good (and welcome to WP, BTW :-)). As for conciseness, the article could use a trim with the removal of repetitive language throughout. For general copyediting advice, see Basic copyediting and WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors/How to; you'll become familiar with WP's Manual of Style on a need-to-know basis. Sorry I can't help more at the moment, but I'm up to my neck working on MOWA Band of Choctaw Indians. Have fun and all the best,  Mini  apolis  14:04, 26 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Thanks for checking it. I'll go over it again and see if I can improve it a bit more. Thanks! --Another Andy (talk) 17:39, 27 September 2018 (UTC)

Down to six months
This is the first time we've had as few as six months of tagged articles (and it will be that way for at least another hour); congratulations to everyone involved as we hit another milestone. BlueMoonset (talk) 22:54, 30 September 2018 (UTC)
 * Wow, that is impressive. I was quite pleased to see the backlog drop below 1,000 as well.  Awesome work, everyone!  And much thanks to  for attending to the above questions and reviews! – Reidgreg (talk) 15:52, 1 October 2018 (UTC)