Talk:Joe Shield

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Employment[edit]

Heading and {{edit COI}} template added. ~ ToBeFree (talk) 18:57, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Moved from User_talk:ToBeFree
 – ToBeFree (talk) 18:57, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you. My apologies if this is not the forum. Please delete: "preferring the stability of working as a sales representative for a wine company." as Mr. Shield immediately went to work in the Financial Services industry. Wisc1999 (talk) 18:51, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Unless there is a reliable source indicating otherwise, Wikipedia should defer to the newspaper clipping from 1987: "sales representative for a wine company in Boston." However, since the current request is for removal rather than replacement, keeping that out as a disputed fact is acceptable.   –Skywatcher68 (talk) 19:06, 1 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]
Looks like this has been addressed. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 16:52, 4 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

This review is transcluded from Talk:Joe Shield/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Nominator: Gonzo fan2007 (talk · contribs) 16:51, 4 April 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Reviewer: LunaEatsTuna (talk · contribs) 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]


I will review this. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 04:48, 23 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Done; over to you! I like your writing style BTW; it reminds me of a modern version of User:Thebiguglyalien's current writing style for some reason. Template:LunaEatsTunaSig (talk), posted at 11:48, 25 May 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Da review:

Early life
  • "In high school, Shield" > "During his time there, Shield" – flows better.
  • I would wikilink most valuable player since it seems relevant enough, but I'll leave it up to you.
  • How about "and helped lead the team to two consecutive appearances in the state championship game, winning in 1978" – sounds better.
  • To better connect the last two sentences change the last one to "He then continued his education and participation in baseball and football at Worcester Academy in Massachusetts."
College career
  • "Shield attended Trinity College" > "Shield attended Trinity College in Hartford, Connecticut" so that it is consistent with the other mentions of schools.
  • Wikilink passing yards.
  • "56%" > "56 percent" – for some reason (WP:PERCENT).
  • Because refs 4 and 5 are identical you should only keep the first and do pages = C1, C8 (or, alternatively, you can make the url = the first page and only do the external link for page C8).
Professional career
  • "Over 100 people, including family and friends" – I am being pedantic but "Over 100 people, including his family and friends".
  • "Shield was released" – I would use he here since Shield was just used as the last word in the previous sentence.
Others
Spotcheck
  • All good; passes on refs 1, 2, 5, 9 and 15.