Draft talk:Stroma (philosophy)
This page was proposed for deletion by RegistryKey (talk · contribs) on 31 December 2021. |
This draft was nominated for deletion on 10 January 2022. The result of the discussion was draftify. |
Suggestions[edit]
I have some thoughts about improving readability (distinct from passing AFC).
1. I found the lead sentence difficult to follow.
The stroma (estroma), is for philosophical materialism the name of each part of the perceptible world, Mi(mundus adspectabilis)
Is stroma a name or a thing? Are the Mi the mundus adspectabilis or the parts of it, or, as described later, parts of the stromata? How is this rewrite in comparison:
In the philosophical materialism of Gustavo Bueno, stroma (Italian: estroma) is each part of the perceptible world (mundus adspectabilis).
2. There are a lot of one-sentence paragraphs. I suggest joining or expanding some. Others could be made into a bullet list, e.g. the three paragraphs defining M1, M2, and M3 in the Description section .
3. Look for phrasing that could be expressed in simpler or more idiomatic English. E.g. named as = called, name for = term.
Applying points 2 and 3 to the second and third sentences, plus adding some etymology:
These parts could be named as objects, entities, substances, etc., but the name of stroma is more precise according to Gustavo Bueno's description.
The name is a neologism collected from the Stromata text of Clement of Alexandria and from the stroma as a biological envelope
becomes
These parts could be called objects, entities, substances, etc., but the term stroma is more precise according to Bueno's description. The word is a neologism, from the Stromata text of Clement of Alexandria and the stroma as a biological envelope.[citation needed] Those uses are in turn derived from Greek strōmateis (στρωματεῖς, 'patchwork') and strōma (στρῶμα 'layer, bed').
4. The plural appears as both stromas and stromata; I would stick with stromata as the proper Greek plural form. Let's please not go down the path of "paninis".