Polyamory in the United States

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Polyamory in the United States (polyamory being from Ancient Greek πολύς (polús) 'many', and Latin amor 'love') is the practice of, or desire for, romantic relationships with more than one partner at the same time, with the informed consent of all partners involved, in the United States.[1][2] Polyamory is a relationship type that is practiced by a minority of the population in the United States, about 4 to 5 percent.[3] According to a 2016 study, 20 percent of singles in the US have attempted some form of consensual non-monogamy at some point of their lives, such as polyamory or open relationships.[3][4][5] In a study, polyamorous couples tend to identify as bisexual and pansexual.[3]

Acceptance[edit]

Polyamory is a subset of ethical non-monogamy (ENM), also known as consensual non-monogamy, in which one or more members in a relationship engage in a relationship with two or more people. Individuals in polyamorous relationships are more likely to identify as bisexual or pansexual than heterosexual.[3] A 2016 study showed that only half of all American millennials want a completely monogamous relationship.[3][6] A study by the Pew Research Center conducted in 2019 discovered that in comparison to millennials (10%) and Generation X (7%), polyamorous relationships have been experienced by 19% of members of Generation Z.[7] One in 6 Americans find polyamory to be acceptable.[8] Men are more likely than women (21% versus 13%) to accept polyamory.[8] A 2023 survey by YouGov found that 34% of Americans describe their ideal relationship as something other than completely monogamous.[9] Research conducted with more than 3,000 Americans found approximately 11% of the sample had been in a polyamorous relationship at some point in time.[10] As of 2018, polyamory is growing within the African American community.[11]

Legal issues and legal recognition[edit]

In 1998, a Tennessee court granted guardianship of a child to her grandmother and step-grandfather after the child's mother April Divilbiss and partners outed themselves as polyamorous on MTV. After contesting the decision for two years, Divilbiss eventually agreed to relinquish her daughter, acknowledging that she was unable to adequately care for her child and that this, rather than her polyamory, had been the grandparents' real motivation in seeking custody.[12]

In 2010, Ann Tweedy, a legal scholar, argued that polyamory could be considered a sexual orientation under existing United States law.[13] This argument was opposed by Christian Keese, who wrote in 2016 that advocating a "sexual orientation model of polyamory is likely to reduce the complexity and transformative potential of poly intimacies", while also limiting reach and scope of possible litigation, obstruct the ability of poly activists to form alliances with other groups, and increase the possibility that poly activists will have to settle for legal solutions which are "exclusive and reproductive of a culture of privilege".[14]

In 2016, writer Rebecca Ruth Gould called for non-monogamy, including polyamory, to receive "the legal recognition it deserves", saying that polyamory remains a "negative identity".[15]

In 2017, three men became the first family in the state of California to have names of three dads "on their child's birth certificate."[16]

In June 2020, the city council of Somerville, Massachusetts voted to recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships in the city, becoming the first American city to do so. This measure was passed so that those in a polyamorous relationship would have access to their partners' health insurance, amid the COVID-19 pandemic.[17][18][19][20]

In November 2020, the issue of polyamory came to the Supreme Court of Vermont in the form of a dispute between two men and a woman in a polyamorous relationship.[21]

In March 2021, the Cambridge, Massachusetts City Council approved an ordinance amending the city's laws, stipulating that "a domestic partnership needn't only include two partners."[22][23][24] The measure was supported by the Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition, also known as PLAC, composed of the Chosen Family Law Center, Harvard Law School LGBTQ+ Advocacy Clinic, and some members on the American Psychological Association's Committee on Consensual Non-Monogamy. This ordinance was originally proposed in July 2020.[25][26] In April 2021, the adjacent town of Arlington, Massachusetts also approved domestic partnerships of more than two people,[27] which was later approved by the state Attorney General's office.[28]

In March 2023, the city of Somerville, Massachusetts passed an ordinance prohibiting discrimination against polyamorous people in employment and policing.[29]

A 2022 survey found that 30% of U.S. adults support the legalization of polyamory, with 40% opposing.[30] The 18 to 44 age group had the highest level of support at 42%, while 52% of respondents aged 65+ were opposed.[30]

Polyamory rights organizations[edit]

The Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy (OPEN) was founded in the United States in 2022 as “a nonprofit organization dedicated to normalizing and empowering non-monogamous individuals and communities.”[31][32]

The Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition (PLAC), based in the United States, "seeks to advance the civil and human rights of polyamorous individuals, communities, and families through legislative advocacy, public policy, and public education."[33][34]

References[edit]

  1. ^ Sheff, Elisabeth (2016). When Someone You Love Is Polyamorous: Understanding Poly People and Relationships. Portland, Oregon: Thorntree Press.
  2. ^ Haritaworn, J.; Lin, C.-J.; Klesse, C. (August 15, 2016). "Poly/logue: A Critical Introduction to Polyamory". Sexualities. 9 (5): 515–29. doi:10.1177/1363460706069963. S2CID 145274479. Polyamory describes a form of relationship where it is possible, valid and worthwhile to maintain (usually long-term) intimate and sexual relationships with multiple partners simultaneously.
  3. ^ a b c d e Zane, Zachary (November 12, 2018). "Who Really Practices Polyamory?". Rolling Stone.
  4. ^ "Updated Estimate of Number of Non-Monogamous People in U.S. | Psychology Today". www.psychologytoday.com.
  5. ^ ""Things are opening up": Non-monogamy is more common than you'd think". www.cbsnews.com. October 27, 2019.
  6. ^ "One-third of Americans say their ideal relationship is non-monogamous | YouGov". today.yougov.com. Retrieved July 26, 2023.
  7. ^ Adeyeyekartob (May 25, 2023). "Love In Gen Z World". Hello, Love. Retrieved July 26, 2023.
  8. ^ a b "Are Americans open to polyamory? | Relationships in America". relationshipsinamerica.com.
  9. ^ "How many Americans prefer non-monogamy in relationships? | YouGov". today.yougov.com. Retrieved July 27, 2023.
  10. ^ Ellwood, Beth (May 24, 2021). "Despite the negative stigma, polyamorous relationships are more common than we think". PsyPost. Retrieved November 15, 2022.
  11. ^ "Here's The Real Truth About Polyamory In The Black Community". BET.com.
  12. ^ Divilbiss, April (October 2000). "PolyFamily Child Custody Case Ends After 2 Year Battle..." Polyamory Society. Archived from the original on October 20, 2000. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
  13. ^ Tweedy, Ann (October 2011). "Polyamory as a sexual orientation". University of Cincinnati Law Review. 79 (4): 1461–1515. Retrieved December 23, 2020.
  14. ^ Keese, Christian (2016). "Marriage, Law and Polyamory. Rebutting Mononormativity with Sexual Orientation Discourse?". Oñati Socio-legal Series. 6 (6): 1348. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
  15. ^ Gould, Rebecca Ruth (August 15, 2016). "Love Without Monogamy". OpenDemocracy. Archived from the original on August 29, 2019. Retrieved December 23, 2020.
  16. ^ Feldman, Jamie (December 23, 2020). "This Throuple Made History With Their First Child. Here's What Their Lives Are Like". HuffPost. Archived from the original on March 2, 2021. Retrieved March 13, 2021.
  17. ^ Stening, Tanner (July 1, 2020). "Somerville City Council passes ordinance recognizing polyamorous domestic partnerships". masslive. Archived from the original on July 2, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
  18. ^ Taliesin, Julia. "Somerville votes to recognize polyamorous domestic partnerships. It is one of the first in nation". MetroWest Daily News, Framingham, MA. Archived from the original on July 1, 2020. Retrieved December 24, 2020.
  19. ^ McNamara, Audrey (July 3, 2020). "Massachusetts city officially recognizes polyamorous relationships". CBS News. Archived from the original on November 7, 2020. Retrieved December 14, 2020.
  20. ^ Greenberg, Zoe (July 2, 2020). "Somerville's new polyamory-friendly policy a 'turning point'". Boston Globe. Archived from the original on October 25, 2020. Retrieved December 14, 2020.
  21. ^ "SCOV Law Blog: Court decides parentage issue in divorce involving polyamory". VTDigger. November 6, 2020. Archived from the original on November 24, 2020. Retrieved December 14, 2020.
  22. ^ Brown, Elizabeth Nolan (March 10, 2021). "Cambridge Will Recognize Polyamorous Partnerships and Other Domestic Arrangements With More Than 2 Adults". Reason.com. Archived from the original on March 10, 2021. Retrieved March 13, 2021.
  23. ^ "Cambridge City Council meeting - March 8, 2021 - AGENDA". Cambridge Civic Journal. March 8, 2021. Archived from the original on March 10, 2021. Retrieved March 13, 2021. This is a publication run by a man named Robert Winters, who is a civic watcher of the Cambridge, MA government.
  24. ^ Adams, Diana; Chen, Alexander (March 9, 2021). "Cambridge Becomes 2nd US City to Legalize Polyamorous Domestic Partnerships" (PDF) (Press release). Cambridge, Massachusetts: Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Archived (PDF) from the original on March 9, 2021. Retrieved March 13, 2021.
  25. ^ Levy, Marc (July 28, 2020). "Law acknowledging polyamorous relationships takes step forward, two councillors holding back". Cambridge Day. Archived from the original on November 1, 2020. Retrieved December 14, 2020.
  26. ^ "POR 2020 #180 The City Manager be and hereby is requested to confer with the City of Cambridge Law Department to review the above changes to the language of the Domestic Partnerships Ordinance and report back to the Council. PASSED TO A SECOND READING IN COUNCIL JULY 27, 2020. TO BE ORDAINED ON OR AFTER SEPTEMBER 14, 2020". Cambridge, Massachusetts. 2020. Archived from the original on December 14, 2020. Retrieved December 14, 2020.
  27. ^ Collings, Jesse. "Town Meeting approves domestic partnership for relationships with more than two people". Wicked Local.
  28. ^ "Three's Company, Too: The Emergence of Polyamorous Partnership Ordinances". Harvard Law Review, Volume 135, Issue 5. March 10, 2022. Retrieved July 24, 2022. and the "Edmunds Anti-Polygamy Act of 1882".
  29. ^ Meredith Goldstein (March 23, 2023). "Somerville celebrates another first for polyamorous people". The Boston Globe. Archived from the original on March 24, 2023. Retrieved March 24, 2023.
  30. ^ a b "Do you think that people in polyamorous relationships that involve more than two people should be entitled to the same sort of legal protection given to people in monogamous two-person relationships? | Daily Question". today.yougov.com. Retrieved August 4, 2023.
  31. ^ "Mission". OPEN.
  32. ^ Safronova, Valeriya (June 17, 2022). "Non-Monogamy Advocates Ask Facebook to Be More Open". The New York Times.
  33. ^ "Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition". Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition. Archived from the original on March 24, 2021. Retrieved March 24, 2021.
  34. ^ "Polyamory Legal Advocacy Coalition". www.facebook.com. Archived from the original on April 29, 2021. Retrieved April 29, 2021.

Further reading[edit]

  • Jennifer Wilson, "Open Season: The rising popularity of polyamory", The New Yorker, 1 & 8 January 2024, pp. 49–52. "A good love affair, when you're inside it, feels like it could change the world. But changing the world takes more than spreading the love; you have to spread the wealth, too. Maybe that's just utopian, hippie nonsense. But what can I say? I'm a romantic." (p. 52.)
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