Talk:2010 Food City 500/Archive 1

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Peer review at GA level by User:Royalbroil

I'm very surprised to see the article nominated for Good Article. I thought that we had agreed that I'd let you know when you're ready to nominate it. Fortunately GA review usually takes 6 weeks so you should have plenty of time to rectify anything.

  • Images - no images? Can look at flickr to see if you find any using Creative Commons Attribution or Attribution ShareAlike. If not, add pictures from Logano's article to the qualifying section and Johnson's article towards the bottom of the race summary
    • ✗ Fail I couldn't find any. --Nascar1996 14:29, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
  • unsourced - All practice sessions including Happy Hour (final practice) were televised on SPEED.
    •  Done I removed the sentence. --Nascar1996 14:49, 3 April 2010 (UTC)
  • unsourced - need source for capacity and attendance - This marks the end of a long streak of sellout seats at the track, which can seat up to 160,000; only 138,000 attended the race.
  • unsourced phrase (not supported by reference) - the practice also had two red flags because both Kyle Busch, and Jimmie Johnson spun on the frontstretches.
  • unsourced - the sentences on the prerace concerts
    •  Done The source is the same for all. --Nascar1996 00:49, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • Is 4TROOPS a military band? - which military branch and if possibly their significance (significance, if you're able to find, would be helpful and make the section more interesting)
    •  Done Its a military band. --Nascar1996 23:17, 4 April 2010 (UTC)
  • unsourced - Steve Austin gave the command "Gentlemen, start your engines!".
  • Who is Steve Austin and why did he get to be the starter? - Is this Stone Cold Steve Austin? If not him, then is there a reason why he's mentioned (maybe a winning fan or a rep from a NASCAR sponsor?
  • unsourced - Terry Cook moved the back of the field
  • reword - "came in to pit" is racing slang and too informal - I understand but only NASCAR fans will get it
    •  Done but it needs to be reviewed. --Nascar1996 14:25, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • (optional) lap thirty-six - I usually see 2 digit numbers as digits (which I prefer), but per WP:ORDINAL you can spell them out. No need to do this one if you don't want. At least be consistent with lap 99.
  • Too informal - Most drivers pit
    •  Done needs review --Nascar1996 14:29, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • With the heaviest rain approaching the track from the west, NASCAR decided to keep the cars on the track to help dry it - to dry it out or to keep it dry (or both)?
    •  Done The sentence was incorrect with few rain drops at the tract NASCAR decided to kep the cars on track to insure it stays dry. --Nascar1996 14:27, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • too many thoughts in one sentence (3 or 4 thoughts) (Run-on sentence), please break into 2 sentences - On lap 158, Jimmie Johnson attempted to get the lead but Biffle would remain the leader until lap 191 when Juan Pablo Montoya took the lead for four laps before Biffle retook it.
  • need a source that says - "Busch and Johnson, the two dominant drivers"
    •  Done removed sentence--Nascar1996 14:44, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • There's a lot of passive tense in the race section using the form "At/By/On lap XXX" - I tried the vary the form but it needs some more. This had been the biggest problem in the article before copyediting but it has gotten a LOT better. You can tell it was written by the same person at the same time. This is why I usually take a look at an article many different times - to get a varied mindset which produces varied sentence structure.
  • Who were the points leaders after the race and what was the next race on the schedule? After the season is done, the question will be - how did the race contribute toward the season points? (if significant)
    •  Done I put it in infobox--Nascar1996 14:52, 5 April 2010 (UTC)
  • References:
  • Categories:

Overall, it's very well done and it's Good Article nomination was done at the appropriate time! With these minor changes it should have a great shot of passing as a Good Article. Someone else needs to do the official GA review, probably in a month or two. Royalbroil 13:31, 3 April 2010 (UTC)

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:2010 Food City 500/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: BigDom 20:26, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Lead
  • "Entering this race also marked the first of three races that Carl Edwards is on probation, after his altercation with Brad Keselowski..." — this is slightly unclear, and in any case it should be in the past tense. Something like "The race marked the first of three races for which Carl Edwards was on probation after a previous altercation with Brad Keselowski..."
    • ", which sent him airborne and crashed on his sidedoor from the previous race at Atlanta Motor Speedway." Did you read the rest of the sentence? NERDYSCIENCEDUDE (✉ message • changes) 22:22, 6 April 2010 (UTC)
  • Well, yes, of course I read the sentence. The change I meant to propose was as follows: "The race marked the first of three races for which Carl Edwards was on probation after an altercation with Brad Keselowski at the previous race at Atlanta Motor Speedway, which sent him airborne and crashed on his sidedoor." —Preceding unsigned comment added by BigDom (talk • contribs)
  • Shouldn't have spaces between punctuation and citations, and where there are multiple citations there shouldn't be spaces between them. This applies throughout the article, not just the lead.
  • "13 different leaders, 39 lead changes, 10 cautions" -> "13 different leaders, 39 lead changes and 10 cautions"
  • Why does the lead say there were 103 laps, when the infobox and the race summary say there were 500?
    • Those are the laps under caution. --Nascar1996 00:50, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
  • "This marks the end of a long streak of sellout seats at the track, which can seat up to 158,000; only 138,000 attended the race" -> "The race attendance of 138,000 marked the end of a long streak of sellout seats at the track, which has a capacity of 158,000"
Practices and Qualifying
Race summary
  • "perform for the fans" --> "performed for the fans"
  • The quote shouldn't be in italics because emphasis isn't really needed
  • Per the MoS, numbers such as "thirty-six" should be written in figures
  • "Johnson would keep" --> "Johnson kept"
  • Actually per the above point, you use this construction quite often. These all need to be changed to the past tense, e.g. "Biffle remained the leader"
  • Aesthetic point: that first paragraph is very long and could do with splitting in half
Results
  • The way the results are cited, it appears at first glance as though it is only a reference for Jimmie Johnson, rather than a general reference for the entire table
    •  Done One of the references wasn't in the right location. --Nascar1996 01:28, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
One last point
  • Some of the references have information missing. You need to add the author's name and the date of publication where possible. BigDom 07:50, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
    • I will work on that. It should be easy for the documents. --Nascar1996 11:39, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
  • The one you have done is OK. Keep doing it the way you've done that one and it'll be fine. BigDom 13:36, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
  • Some of the references are not showing the author or date, but I will do as many as I can.--Nascar1996 21:55, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
  • That's fine, no problems as long as you do all the ones you can. BigDom 22:08, 7 April 2010 (UTC)

Criteria check

GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
    Some good work done by the nominator to sort out the references.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
    I made a couple of image layout fixes myself
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Summary

A pretty good article overall, which is very comprehensive in its coverage of the race but has a few problems, mainly Manual of Style issues. Once these have been sorted out, I will happily pass this as a GA. On hold for seven days. BigDom 21:05, 6 April 2010 (UTC)

Problems have been suitably addressed. Pass with congrats. BigDom 23:16, 7 April 2010 (UTC)
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