Talk:Allison Stokke/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 20:32, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Taking on this review. MWright96 (talk) 20:32, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

Thanks. I am the nominator. Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 20:55, 19 April 2018 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• I think you should include more of her collegiate career achievements in the second paragraph of the lead to enlargen it

 Partly done Expanded the lead a bit. --Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 19:37, 1 May 2018 (UTC)

Early life

• "After trying gymnastics, she took up pole vaulting while attending Newport Harbor High School" - link gymnastics and pole vaulting
• "In her senior year of high school she ranked second" - need a comma between "school" and "she"
• "She finished eighth at the national junior championships that year." - national junior championships should have a link to USATF National Junior Olympic Track & Field Championships

 Done Emir of Wikipedia (talk)

Internet fame

• "in addition to over a million results on search engines." - more than one million search engine results.
• "It was noted by the Los Angeles Times," - delinked Los Angeles Times as it is already linked in the first paragraph
• "In their book Technology, Power and Culture in the Network Society Brett Hutchins" - comma needed between "Society" and "Brett"

 Done Emir of Wikipedia (talk)

Later career

• "Stokke reached new heights in her second year at college," - had more success
• "scaling 4.21 m (13 ft 9​1⁄2 in) in Sacramento, California under the watchful eye of Cal coach and former 5-time All-American at UCLA, Scott Slover." - change the text in bold to close observation and five-time respectfully
• "and made her debut at the NCAA Women's Division I Outdoor Track and Field Championships," - debuted
• "In her last year of collegiate vaulting she did not" - comma needed between "vaulting" and "she"
• "However, in 2011 Stokke did place 8th at the" - eighth
• "NCAA Indoor Championships held at Texas A&M," - wikilink Texas A&M to Gilliam Indoor Track Stadium
• "By 2016, her GoPro videos have received" - reword the text in bold to the videos since GoPro is already mentioned in the prior sentence
• Also the source for the above sentence needs not to be the video itself, but an independent website like [1] which has an update figures of the amount of views the video has received
• There is some more info on her post-2012 vaulting activities in this source [2] to aid the development of this sub-section

 Partly done Still need to work on the last point --Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 20:03, 25 April 2018 (UTC)

Reference

• References 8, 9 is missing the author
• Reference 19 should be completly replaced with the following source [3]
• References 20 & 26 are missing the publisher of their respective works

I have added an author for reference 8, but reference 9 has no author named. --Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 16:35, 28 April 2018 (UTC)

 Done I did the suggestions for reference 19 and 20, changed the one for 26 to the publisher website. --Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 21:22, 29 April 2018 (UTC)

Progress

This review will be put on hold for the time being. MWright96 (talk) 15:58, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Thanks for the quick review MWright96, I have already added your suggestions for the early life section and will hopefully complete the rest tomorrow. Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 20:47, 20 April 2018 (UTC)

Apologies, only managed to do the Internet fame section over the weekend. I'll try and finish the rest off over the upcoming week. --Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 19:28, 22 April 2018 (UTC)

Sorry MWright96 if you feel like I've been going to slowly with this. I can understand if you decide to fail this considering that I have not implemented all your suggestions in over a week. Not been able to dedicate that much time and concentration to Wikipedia recently due to personal issues. Thanks for your work here, but I can't imagine that I will get this done before the weekend and will accept whatever decision you make. Emir of Wikipedia (talk) 20:29, 2 May 2018 (UTC)

@Emir of Wikipedia: I will give you all the time that you need to complete this article and will only consider failing it if the remaining issues cannot be addressed. MWright96 (talk) 14:53, 5 May 2018 (UTC)

Unfortunately, since the nominator is inactive and unable to correct the remaining issues, I have taken the decision to fail this nomination. The article itself has potential to attain GA status and can be re-nominated in the future. MWright96 (talk) 16:23, 12 May 2018 (UTC)