Talk:Damien Mander

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External links modified[edit]

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NPOV and clean-up[edit]

This article previously had several elements that were not NPOV such as referring to Mander as a "crusader" and framing Mander's environmental views as fact. I have reworded several parts to bring the article more in-line with NPOV. Most significantly I have replaced the word 'crusader' with the word 'activist' in both the lead and the info box. The article already described Mander as an activist elsewhere, and this seems like an appropriate term. Also significant is that I have placed his founding of the IAFP - which seems to be his main source of notoriety - as the first point in the lead, with his military career coming second i.e. I have used order of notoriety rather than chronological order.

I have also removed a couple of dead references, cleaned up the article for readability, spelling, etc., and removed some sentences that seemed superfluous such as a quote of Mander's about the advantages of UAVs.

I have not checked all of the references so there are probably some dead ones remaining which it would be good to prune/fine replacements for.Cloudspert (talk) 01:23, 9 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]