Talk:Didsbury Campus/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Eric Corbett (talk · contribs) 15:55, 31 December 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
2c. it contains no original research.
2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
7. Overall assessment.


Lead

  • "These are currently being converted into homes ..." "Currently" is definitely a word best avoided. Is it when the article was written? Is it 2018? When is it?
    Rewritten.
  • "... the rest of the site is undergoing redevelopment as a residential area." This is going to age as the redevelopment is completed. Best rewritten.
    Rewritten.

Early history: 1465–1946

  • "The City of Manchester was no exception ...". No exception to what?
    Removed as redundant.

Didsbury College of Education: 1946–1977

  • "... the Methodists who still owned the building had moved their business to Bristol." I don't think it's appropriate to think of the Methodists as being in business.
    Removed.

Polytechnic and university: 1977–2014

  • "... throughout the 1980s and '90s there were ongoing improvements to technology; computers became commonplace, and interactive whiteboards were introduced across all classrooms by 2009." 2009 clearly isn't in the 1980s and '90s. Do you mean something like "interactive whiteboards began to be introduced across all classrooms"?
    I’ve split it into two sentences, so hopefully it’s clearer. Aiken D 20:44, 4 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
  • I think we're done here now. Congratulations, it's a nice piece of work. Eric Corbett 01:03, 5 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.