Talk:I'm Going to Tell You a Secret/GA2

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 05:15, 19 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Infobox
  • If including how much its revenue would be worth today, use "in *currentyear* dollars" rather than "today". However, I'm not sure the 2014 value is needed since the span between 2005 and 2014 is relatively close compared to things like 1937 to 2007 (which I've more often seen when calculating modern revenue/net worth equivalents in articles).
    • Tweaked it, but I kept it since I was advised by a very high regarded reviewer in Sex to always keep the money inflations.
Lead
  • "was released commercially on June 20, 2006, in DVD format by Warner Bros. Records"..... keep it simple and just say Warner Bros. released it on DVD June 20, 2006
  • "X-STaTIC PRO=CeSS" should link to Steven Klein (photographer)
  • I realize what "it was about spirituality and the singer's maturity" is trying to say, but "maturity" is POV
  • "Madonna and her husband Guy Ritchie"..... then-husband
  • "There were appearances from filmmaker Michael Moore and the singer's father and stepmother"..... reads awkwardly, try "The film features appearances from Madonna's father, stepmother, and filmmaker Michael Moore"
  • Link Notting Hill
  • "Feedback was negative regarding excessive details about Kabbalah, and the documetary had to be trimmed" → "The film was trimmed after negative feedback regarding excessive details about Kabbalah"
  • "The release received a positive response from critics but was a moderate success commercially" → "The two-disc release was a moderate commercial success, and received positive response from critics"
Synopsis
  • Per WP:FILMPLOT, citations are not required at all in this section. Just saying.
  • Link Madonna (entertainer)
  • "the singer recording some vocals"..... are these simply warm-up sessions?
  • Make note that this takes place during Re-Invention World Tour since this was mentioned in the lead
  • link Guy Ritchie
  • "Richie" → "Ritchie" (typo)
  • "Kabbalah comes into the picture with explanations of the mystic religion"..... given that Kabbalah is not itself a religious denomination, this needs a bit of rephrasing
Background of tour
  • I think a referral link to Re-Invention World Tour would be useful at the top of the section
  • Unlink Madonna
  • "whose name was in reality a dig at Madonna's critics"..... something about this just doesn't read well
  • Not sure about using italics for the segment names
  • Add "the" before "Re-Invention World Tour was a commercial success"
  • "After wrapping up"..... concluding would be more encyclopedic
Concept and development
  • "Unlike her 1990 documentary, Truth or Dare"..... this was from 1991
  • See above note in lead regarding "maturity"
  • "Madonna said in an interview with MTV" → "Madonna told MTV"
  • "Madonna explained her feelings for these situations in a December 2005 interview with Rolling Stone"..... quite a mouthful, keep it simple with something like "In December 2005, Madonna told Rolling Stone"
  • "Madonna explained her point-of-views" → "Madonna explained her views"
  • "Lucy O'Brien described in her book, Madonna: Like an Icon, as being larger than Madonna herself" needs a citation
  • "Madonna disgraced the religion" → "Madonna disgraced Judaism"
  • "Israeli securities had advised the singer not to make the trip, nevertheless she did it"..... not very encyclopedic
Production and release
  • "Moore had initially offered to direct the documentary but since he was busy editing his own project, Fahrenheit 9/11, Madonna enlisted Åkerlund as the director" → "Moore had initially offered to direct the documentary, though Madonna enlisted Åkerlund as director since Moore was busy with his own project, Fahrenheit 9/11"
  • "hence she juggled time" → "juggling time"
  • "on October 21, 2005 at 10.00 PM" → "on October 21, 2005, at 10:00 PM"
  • "Åkerlund later recalled in an interview with BlackBook magazine"..... keep it simple with something like "Åkerlund told BlackBook"
  • "Is" should be added before "a really strong piece of art, if you ask me..... it had a lot of my blood, sweat, and tears in it"
Critical response
  • Capitalize the "M" for AllMusic
  • I'm not too sure everyone will automatically know what "stood the test of time" means
Album
  • I realize this has a referral to the album page itself, but the section seems only short with only one paragraph when compared to previous sections in the article. Another paragraph would be nice.
  • Include who won the Grammy nomination this album received
    • All addressed. I added some more from the album article, but anything more than that would be WP:UNDUE. Let's face it, this paragraph will never be "meaty" enough like the other ones, yet it has to be separate. :( —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 09:17, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
References
  • FN9: Remove "Artforum" as this link is from a Slant article
  • FN10: Publisher is British Broadcasting Corporation
  • FN11: dead
  • FN13: unlink Slant Magazine
  • FN16: Publisher is Katharine Weymouth
  • FN17: Publisher is Arthur Ochs Sulzberger, Jr.
  • FN18: same as FN10
  • FN19: dead
  • FN23: link Nielsen N.V.
    • This I would have to address, I have linked Nielsen Business Media to Nielsen N.V. since Billboard notes its publisher as Nielsen Business Media, Inc only in their print magazine also. If that's what you meant, then I'm cool. :) —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 09:17, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN24: Remove "Icon: The Official Madonna website"
  • FN25: Publisher is Mortimer Zuckerman
  • FN28: Publisher is Fairfax Media
  • FN33: dead and unreliable
  • FN37: unlink The Observer
  • FN40: reliable?
    • Yep, it is the only source still available for technical aspects for DVDs and Blu-ray. If you ever see any other source being brought up related to DVDs, that would be questionable. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 09:17, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • FN43: same as FN16
  • FN44: "M" in AllMusic should be capitalized, "Thomas" should be in "first name" field rather than "last name" field
External links
GA Result
  • On hold for seven days
  • @SNUGGUMS: can you give me two days of time to start? I just started logging in from today and there is a pile of articles that I need to sort in my watchlist, so cleaning out the closet you can say. Thanks for taking up this review. —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 05:51, 19 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • No problem. As long as the above is addressed by August 26th, I will pass. Snuggums (talk / edits) 11:59, 19 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Yes- Checklinks said Daily Mail was dead when I first reviewed the article, though now says BlackBook is dead when it didn't before. Working or not, Daily Mail is an unreliable source and should be replaced. Snuggums (talk / edits) 16:41, 21 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • Hi @SNUGGUMS:, I'm afraid I could not find any other reliable source other than Daily Mail and have removed that info. Was not that important anyways. So can you take a look now? —Indian:BIO · [ ChitChat ] 06:30, 22 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
  • IndianBio we'll be good to go as soon as the two dead URL's detected by Checklinks (Business Wire and BlackBook) are addressed. Snuggums (talk / edits) 12:29, 22 August 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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