Talk:Indiana in the American Civil War/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

1st read through

  1. My major concern with this article is that it needs a map or two or three. Anyone who is not well-versed on Indiana geography would find it difficult to follow parts of the article. In particular, even only 1 of the 4 "raids" articles has a map.
  2. A significantly more minor point is that the images of the two monuments in the Aftermath section are both redundant and jarring: redundant because they look so similar and they are stacked up on top of each other, and jarring because they are different sizes and create a great gap of white space in the article. Madman (talk) 04:20, 3 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  3. The lead paragraphs need to be crisper. The lead sentence does not tell us much really (details please). The last sentence of the first paragraph ("The state contributed hundreds of thousands of men, millions of dollars, and many supplies to the war effort.") is a bit disconnected with the other 2 sentences, and doesn't say much either. How much? To whom? Compare with Ohio in the Civil War.
  4. The sentence "Before the war ended Indiana would contribute 208,367 men (about 15% of the state's total population and 74% of eligible men) to fight in and serve in the war." needs to be cited. Madman (talk) 03:48, 4 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
  5. I'm not sure that the lead image is the best face to put forward. That is, couldn't this just be any old cabin? It doesn't supply any information to the reader.
  6. "Gov. Morton called up the state militia as soon as Morgan's intentions where know, more than 60,000 men came out to repel Morgan's raid." - poorly worded and the 60,000 figure needs citing. It seems high - it's equal to about 30% of Indiana soldiers.
  7. "The 19th made critical contributions to some of the most important engagements including Second Battle of Bull Run (August 28, 1862), but was almost completely destroyed in the Battle of Gettysburg." The article on the 19th makes no mention of being "almost completely destroyed" there. Citation?
  8. "Almost every presidential ticket between the war and World War I included one or more Hoosiers in a hope to win the support of Indiana's electorate." <- This can't be true. Only about half the Republican tickets had Hoosiers and less than half of the Democratic ones.
  9. There seem to be a number of typos or poorly worded sentences:
"He had wrote a letter to "His Excellency, Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederation", in which we offered the services of a friend to sell the south superior firearms."
"When the Republicans returned to power in 1864 he was paid back and grateful state has preserved his Madison residence as historic site. "
"Over half of Hoosiers with over $100,000 lived in New Albany."
"New Albany’s robust steamboat industry in 1870, with the last steamboat built in New Albany named, appropriately, the Robert E. Lee. "
Sometimes "war" is capitalized, sometimes not.

I will review the article further once you review these matters. Thanks,Madman (talk) 00:38, 5 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

I'll begin working on maps. That will take the longest to do.--Bedford Pray 00:44, 5 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
Hello, in response to your points above:
  1. Do you suggest a map showing the location of the raids or a map of Indiana in general?
  2. I removed one of the images.
  3. I redid the intro, I think it reads a bit better now.
  4. If you follow the ref at the end of the next sentence and read the section Indiana's Call to arms it states about 15% of the state population was called up and aproximatly 200,000 soldiers. I have also duplicated a ref from lower in the article that will lead you a site where the exact number of soldiers is cited. The 75% of eligible men part I can remember where i read that or even if i added it.. It can be removed if a source cannot be located.
  5. I changed it to the state flag and moved the cabin image to more approraite spot.
  6. The figures are correct, I am sure of that. I will find a ref and reword the sentence
  7. The entire Iron brigade was destroyed in the battle, will locate source.
  8. should say almost every presidential "election" not ticket. will change
  9. I'm not great at prose, but I will try to give the article a thorough copy edit.

Charles Edward 00:44, 5 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

If you're not in a hurry, I can work on a map or two. Madman (talk) 03:22, 5 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]
When I did my master's thesis on Morgan's Raid, I made maps both of Hines Raid and Morgan's. I took pictures of them recently, and are on my old hard drive. If my brother can retrieve them for me tomorrow, I'll put them on here. However, they will be in black and white, unless I use MS Paint to color them.--Bedford Pray 03:30, 5 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

2nd Read Through

There are still quite a few typos and poorly worded sentences and many uncapitalized words (e.g. "south for South" and "democrats" for "Democrats") in this article, so many that I felt the need to copyedit the article myself. I'm not quite done with it, but will finish shortly. I think that the citations are nearly good enough (I think there are a couple of [citation needed] notes) - one of which says that tariffs increased the profits on Indiana's exports. This needs some explaining since tariffs are taxes on imports.

The maps are a little hazy, but worthwhile. Madman (talk) 05:04, 11 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

3rd Read Through

1. There are still some clumsily worded sentences and typos:

"Indianapolis hosted to Camp Morton, an military prison for captured Confederates soldiers."
"The home front only experienced one significant conflict that caused a brief panic in the state." (So, it experienced significant conflicts that didn't cause a brief panic?)
". . . Cincinnati’s (The Western Theater HQ) taste . . . "
"Two Lafayette residents were captured during the war and sent to Union prisoner camps until one swore allegiance to the Union, the other was freed with the help of his family."
"The shift of population northward was accelerated as new industry began to develop around the great lakes and the railroad depots."

2. Needs citation: "Almost every family in the state contributed multiple members to the war." This just seems beyond belief. That means that, what, 80% of "families" -- however that is defined -- sent more than 1 man to the war? Maybe "family" should be defined, too.
3. Untrue: "Over 60% of Indiana's regiments were mustered and trained in Indianapolis, with the rest being trained in Southern Indiana at New Albany and Jeffersonville." Camp Anderson in LaPorte Co, for example, was used in 1863 and 1864 to train Indiana Union volunteers of the 127th, 128th, and 129th regiments. (see here)
4. I am still concerned about a map. Someone who is unfamiliar with Indiana geography will be lost with all of the placenames. A nice map showing the placenames (e.g. Indianapolis, New Albany, Cincinnati, Louisville, and more) is really needed to help our readers.
Other than these items, I think this article is Good. Madman (talk) 04:29, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

1. I've fixed the sentances you cited. 2. I added a cite for the statement and reworded it a bit to be more what the reference says. It is pluasable - 170,000 households in Indiana in those years and 210,000 soldiers in the war. It was Total War. 3. I just removed "the rest were trained in southern indiana". 60% were definatly trained in Indianaopolis per the source. I do have another source that says the rest were trained in the southern part of the state - which makes sense. Individual companies may have been mustered in other places around the state - but the statement says "regiments". Regiments were made out of the companies mustered around the state and assembled in the primary camps. 4. I will locate and add a state map with said locations. Charles Edward 12:34, 17 June 2008 (UTC)[reply]

Final Review GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Overall a thorough and effective article, touching on all aspects of Indiana life during the Civil War.

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:
    Good, and much better than earlier. Needs to be a bit smoother for an "A" or "Featured Article"
    B. MoS compliance:
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. References to sources:
    B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:
    Good citations. Broad scope.
    C. No original research:
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:
    B. Focused:
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
    B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
    The addition of the map is much needed. A photo of a civil war soldier (not a General) would be very useful to set the tone.
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:
    Good job.
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