Talk:John U. Monro

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DYK potential[edit]

His leaving Harvard for an unaccredited HBCU will make a fantastic DYK—make sure you nominate after then GAN if you're not already planning to! {{u|Sdkb}} talk 23:41, 18 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I will be sure to do that! :) 15 (talk) 09:56, 19 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

GA Review[edit]

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This review is transcluded from Talk:John U. Monro/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 11:35, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Comments

  • "Massachusetts and educated at Phillips Academy" a lot of our readers may not know where these places are, consider linking Mass and telling us where Phillips is.
Linked Massachusetts and added "in Andover" to Phillips.
  • "journalist for a few years after graduating" I don't like "for a few years" in an encyclopedia, either say how long, or say nothing.
Removed "for a few years", added graduation date (1935) and specified that he joined the Navy when the US entered World War II in 1941. Should I link the war?
  • "the USS Enterprise" -> "the USS Enterprise"
 Done
  • "black students made him leave" maybe "saw him" rather than "made him"
 Done
  • We don't normally include death in the lead unless it's somehow notable.
Removed.
  • "Massachusetts to Claxton" comma after Mass.
 Done
  • "working at American" at the American...?
Added "the".
  • "not well-off family" any better way of saying this? Reads awkwardly to me.
Changed to "as his family was not well-off,...", added reference supporting the addition of the causal claim.
  • "at Andover on" is that the same as North Andover?
No, added wikilink to hopefully make it more clear.
  • "later admitted to Harvard College" you can link in the body first time as well as the lead.
 Done
Changed Marx to Karl Marx.
  • "male Crimson," italics for Crimson.
 Done
  • "graduated in 1935, a year late.[3] After graduating" repetitive.
Changed "After graduating" to "He then..."
  • "the Boston Transcript and" was it the Boston Evening Transcript when he worked there?
Sources are not clear about this, some just use Boston Transcript, others use Boston Evening Transcript and Boston Transcript interchangeably. Changed it to Boston Evening Transcript, as the bibliography of the Capossela book writes it that way, making me believe that Boston Transcript is just shorthand.
  • "damage control officer on the USS Enterprise" italics on ship name, and what's a "damage control officer"?
Done w.r.t. italics, added "His position put him in charge of machinists and other sailors repairing the ship in the event of an attack".
  • "during a Kamikaze attack" link Kamikaze.
 Done
  • travelling -> traveling surely for USEng?
 Done
  • "for Black colleges" you suddenly capitalise Black here?
Lowercased.
  • "September 4, 1963 coincided" comma after year.
 Done
  • "Shores' home" Shores's (sorry).
 Done
  • "non-profit organisation" link and organization one would have thought...
 Done
  • "schoolers in Birmingham, Alabama" link.
 Done
  • " on March 29, 2002 in La" comma after year.
 Done
  • "Carolina, Chapel Hill to pursue" comma after Chapel Hill.
 Done
  • "University.[23][21] He" ref order.
 Done
  • World War II vs Second World War, be consistent.
Changed all to World War II
  • "Church in Houston, Texas appointed" comma after Texas.
 Done
  • Some SHOUTING in the refs.
How should I capitalise headlines when they are in all caps in the original? Like as if they were running text, so just the first word and whatever else would normally be capitalised?
Sentence case, like capitalise the formal nouns but otherwise just regular writing. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 22:17, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
The Rambling Man, fixed. 15 (talk) 22:33, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That's my lot for now. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 21:00, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you The Rambling Man, responded inline. 15 (talk) 22:13, 3 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Did you know nomination[edit]

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Theleekycauldron (talk) 22:19, 18 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

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  • Reviewed: None required (less than 5 DYK credits).
  • Comment: I'm happy to remove "in Alabama" if perceived as offensive.

Improved to Good Article status by 15 (talk). Self-nominated at 13:40, 5 September 2021 (UTC).[reply]

General: Article is new enough and long enough
Policy: Article is sourced, neutral, and free of copyright problems
Hook: Hook has been verified by provided inline citation
QPQ: Done.

Overall: Congratulations on a Good article, on a person I knew nothing about until now. I believe the hook is fine, as it serves to highlight to gulf between Monro's position and the institution he moved to. Each of the qualifiers – unaccredited, historically black, and far from Harvard both geographically and in reputation – support each other and together make the hook better. Worth noting that "…in Alabama" is mentioned by the sources cited as an important qualifier too. Giantflightlessbirds (talk) 04:53, 6 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

ALT0 to T:DYK/P3
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