Talk:Kamala Khan/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Zanimum (talk · contribs) 21:21, 26 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'll review. -- Zanimum (talk) 21:21, 26 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox

I was going to ask why you chose this variant cover, when most coverage of the character debut used the shoulders to waist shot. Reading re: Carol Danvers, this cover actually makes more sense, showing the transistion. It also shows the hero outfit, which I suppose is critical, as the article isn't Kamala Khan (Ms. Marvel).

Lead

Lots of information up here, that isn't repeated in the article proper. Leads are officially supposed to be summaries, not traditional introductions. Theoretically, you be able to severe a lead from the article, and still understand the article.

Done--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

There should be a sentence or two summarizing her reception.

Done--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Publication history

Simon Bazm, Dust, and M: are they DC characters? With smaller publishers? In other words, is this the first power player to feature a Muslim person in a title? How much do these characters pre-date Kamala?

Baz is DC and Dust and M are Marvel. These are just examples given in the source to show that Khan is not the first Muslim character, an important distinction from the first Marvel character to headline a title. I'd rather not dive into this too much as it will only shift focus away from the primary topic.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Fair enough.

Everything in the lead needs to be repeated down here too (or in the other sections). There's currently not mention of Point-One, the third volume, etc. (By that measure, was Carol Ms. Marvel in the first two volumes? Did the title go on hiatus once she became Captain Marvel?)

I reworded the lead to only mention her first appearance instead of listing all of her early appearances, which seems to be norm at WP:COMIC. I also remove the reference to the third volume. Volumes are not something that the publishers typically advertise but something that sellers/traders use to mark every time a set of issues in a title are renumbered; Ms. Marvel #1 (January 1977), Ms. Marvel #1 (March 2006) and Ms. Marvel (February 2014). And yes, Danvers was star of the first two volumes but again I'd rather stay away from this and the history of the Ms. Marvel title as it might lead to scope creep.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'd rather that we didn't rejoin a sentence in progress, after a blockquote. Start a new sentence to lead into the additional quote. Or possibly even paraphrase Wilson, as it's odd to have two sizable quotes from the same person in the same paragraph.

Done--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Might benefit with a few more words on the Inhumanity storyline. It may be familar to Marvel readers right now, but in ten, twenty years?

Done--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

How many issues have there been with Kamala, so far? One a month, since February? There's lots about her story arc as a Muslim teenager, but has she been matched up against any notable villains? Or is it just small stuff while she finds her way around her new powers?

Six I believe, and they still deal with her origin.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, that's fair.

Initial reaction

Perhaps worth defining "taqiyya" briefly in the article, so that people don't have to click through.

Done--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

You have a prof unsold on the portrayal and comedian comments, but what about the right wing mass media? I hate to invite the knee-jerk reactions of self-determined pundits, but was there criticism on FOX News? Mississippi comic book stores announcing they'd stop carrying the book? I hope not, but I want to know that you have done your due diligence on this. I'm not looking for random criticism, but if there was high profile bile, it might be justified to note it.

I've looked and can't seem to find anything that you are suggesting or from anything from Fox News in particular. But I also don't think we should be picking sources based on ideology or political leanings.--TriiipleThreat (talk) 17:23, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

While criticism would have been unjustified, if it was from a mainstream source, then it would be justified for inclusion, no matter how ridiculous it was. That said, I'm amazed that the FOX trolls didn't jump on it, she seems pretty unscathed when I Google for negative coverage.

Passing "Critical reaction", "References", "External links". -- Zanimum (talk) 20:12, 28 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Looks awesome, GA! Being an active topic, so early in the run, the article probably should undergo a GAR in August 2015, to make sure that the new content is up to the same level, but awesome so far! -- Zanimum (talk) 22:51, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I've just passed it again, but as "Language and literature". The Comics category is in that section, as is a section for Characters. Kamala's in that category. (I alphaordered it under Marvel, no idea if I'm supposed to put it alphaordered for Ms.? Anyway, it's in there, we can let others change the alphaorder if need be. -- Zanimum (talk) 22:58, 30 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]