Talk:Legally Blonde (musical)/GA1

GA Review

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I'll be conducting this review. Although I think the article is promising and a lot of the elements of a GA are all here, there are some particularly serious sourcing problems that have to be addressed before it can be passed. Many facts and sometimes whole paragraphs are unsourced. There are a few sources used that don't pass WP:RS, and a few instances where the sources used don't entirely reflect the information from the article. I've placed my comments below, and I'll place the article on hold for a while to see if we can address these issues within the GAN review. Please address each item line-by-line and I'll strike them as we go...

Lead

• "While there she finds those needing her knowledge of law..." I'm having trouble thinking of an alternative off the top of my head, but this doesn't strike me as the best way to summarize the plot. Can you consider rewording?
• I feel like there is information from the body of the article that should be mentioned in the lead, such as the seven Tony nominations (and no wins), and the fact that it made the millionaires club.
  • You added "and grossed more than $1,000,000 a week on several occasions". Is this right? From my first reading of the article, I was under the impression it eventually earned $1 million, not that it made $1 million a week. Could you maybe clarify in the body of the article if this part in the lead is correct? — Hunter Kahn 13:58, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

Act I

• "This tragedy summons the apparitions..." I wouldn't exactly call this a "tragedy". I mean, nobody died or anything! lol. Could you reword?
  • See my comments below...

Musical numbers

• There are a lot of sourcing problems here. These either have to be fixed with a reliable source or cut altogether before a GA could be considered...
  • The sentence ""The song featured, at times, similar lyrics and choreography to the current version, with a different melody and harmonic structure" lacks a source.
  • So does "...which had the same general idea, but lacked a dance break."
  • There is no source to discuss what the song Ireland means: "in which Paulette and Elle bond over the idea that men are like dogs and should therefore be treated as such."
  • A YouTube video, espeically a YouTube video of an unoffical performance, cannot be used as a source.
  • There is no source at all for the song about "Name Your Price".

2007 Broadway

• "After a tryout at San Francisco's Golden Gate Theatre from January 23 to February 24, 2007..." According to the source, it opened its tryout on February 6?
• "The show received mostly positive reviews and was nominated for seven Tony Awards but did not win any." This needs a source, which I'm sure should be easy enough. Also, since you have then listed in the "Awards and honors" section below, you certainly don't have to name them all, but I'd name some of the more major ones here. Like, "...was nominated for seven Tony AWards, including Best Original Score and Best Leading Actress, but..."
• "...as well as two other dates where it was filmed in an empty theatre." The source says it was filmed once in its entirety, another time without an audience, and then on Sept. 18 before an audience of theatregoers between ages 15 and 25. This isn't reflected in the article...
• The runner-up, Autumn Hurlbert, also debuted on Broadway in this show as a sorority sister in Delta Nu." This needs a source.
• "The production closed on October 19, 2008 after playing 30 previews and 595 regular performances." So does this.

2008 US Tour tour

• First of all, shouldn't this section b ecalled "2008 US Tour"? Instead of the redundant "Tour tour"?
• "A U.S. touring production started on September 23, 2008." Doesn't the source say Sept. 21?
• "Lauren Ashley Zakrin and Rhiannon Hansen, both finalists of the MTV reality show, are in the national tour with Zakrin as Elle's understudy and ensemble and Hansen as Margot." This needs a source.
• The whole last paragraph of this section needs a source. This was replacement info which shouldn't have been in there anyway for a touring production

2009 West End

• The whole second paragraph is unsourced.
• "Legally Blonde is the only West End show to offer a ticket lottery." This should be changed to "first West End show" or "first and so far only West End show".
• "The show has taken £2 million in advance sales." This needs a source.

2010 Philippines

• "Philippines The Philippine production, to be staged by Manila-based Atlantis Productions, has been announced." Could you please fix this sentence?"
• "Filipina singer, actress and television host Nikki Gil will play Elle Woods. Nyoy Volante will play Emmett Forrest and Gretchen Barretto." This needs a source.Can't find a source

2010 The Netherlands

• This whole section needs a source. Taken out as no sources

Critical response

• "doesn’t summon memories of Tracy Flick, the steely student-council campaigner that Reese Witherspoon played in Election before starring in Legally Blonde. The fleeting glimpses of a Flickish manic drive just below Elle’s silly Malibu surface are what I liked best in the film. It’s the kind of freaky detail that no amount of cheery blandness can replace." This is an extremely long quote. Could you paraphrase some of it and use only the best parts of the actual quote?
• The Tm Walker review from The Sunday Telegraph does not seem to be in the cited source. I can't actually find his review anywhere, only the main telegraph review which was positive

Recordings

• "The Original Broadway Cast recording was recorded on May 7 and 8, 2007..." This part doesn't seem to be in the source.
• "...made its debut on Billboard's Cast Album chart, placing at #1 and charted at #86 on the Billboard 200." Maybe I'm missing it, but althought the source says it topped the Cast Album chart, I don't see anything about it ranking #86 on the Billboard 200...
• "The album sold 93,000 copies as of May 2008." Needs source.
• I think you need to either find another source for the second and third paragraphs here or drop it altogether. You're sort of bordering on original research here as you are drawing conclusions from the source. Plus I think this website is questionable as a reliable source, and the discussion comment on the page itself questions the accuracy of the information...
• "In 2009 Sheridan Smith who is to portray Elle in London recorded a pop video of "So Much Better" with members of the cast. This was used as promotional material." This needs a source.

I'm placing the article on hold for now until these comments can be addressed... — Hunter Kahn 19:05, 14 February 2010 (UTC)

• Hey, thanks for all the feedback. Have cleared most things up but have afew queries and notes.
• The so called "tragedy" in the plot description is actually mentioned in the show as what calls the greek chorus. For Elle this is indeed a tragedy.
  • If this is the case, you should either put the word "tragedy" in quotes, or say something like, "Elle and the Greek chorus declare it a "tragedy"". Just having it as it is right now isn't acceptable.
• The MTV source for the recording says "Legally Blonde will be filmed a total of three times — once in its entirety, another without an audience, and finally the Sept. 18 filming, which will take on a more interactive feel with the entire orchestra section full of pink-clad fans." If I recall there was only one recoding made with an audience, and the "another" without an audience is referring to another recording without an audience in addition to the one before (sorry i sound so complicated). This is the one they did all the close up shots.
  • It's fine. — Hunter Kahn 13:58, 17 February 2010 (UTC)
• Still need to have a look into the recordings bit but any feedback on the changes i've made up to now appreciated!

Mark E (talk) 10:45, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

At the author's request, I am going to not pass this article for now. He has indicated he may nominate it again in the future after addressing some of the outstanding issues. Thanks! — Hunter Kahn 19:19, 24 February 2010 (UTC)