Talk:Love's Train

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Love's Train/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:39, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

This article has been in the queue over a month, making a review more than due! --K. Peake 07:39, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Remove venue parameter from the infobox since that is for live recordings only
• Remove overly obvious pipe on band per WP:OVERLINK
• "from their tenth album," → "from their tenth studio album,"
• The Pilate music track sentence should be the third of the lead instead, as it belongs straight after writing/production
• "Musically, it is an" → "It is an" and mention notable parts of the instrumentation here because there is an entire production section
• Wikilink love triangle
• "but with different lyrics." → "which had different lyrics." or something similar to be less repetitive
• ""Love's Train" has received" → "the song has received"
• Pipe music critics to Music journalism
• The live performances can be written out in the body, as you could create a reception and promotion section
• Remove American superduo introduction to Silk Sonic because this being solely in the body is sufficient

Isn't this important in the lead to introduce who they are? It's like this in every song article. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:20, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

They are not the main subject here though, making an introduction not required for the lead. --K. Peake 09:13, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

Fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:58, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• The audience favorite and compilation albums info should come before Silk Sonic in the lead
• "While Con Funk Shun's original recording was" → "While the song was"
• "has since become" → "it has since become"
• Wikilink as compilation albums instead per WP:PIPE, also add a comma after this term per American English

 Done

Background and subsequent releases

• None of this provides actual background info, rather than comp, reception and promotion; add actual background on the song here instead
• ""Love's Train" is a" → "Musically, "Love's Train" is a" plus this should be in a comp section, which can be merged with the production one and should come directly before lyrics
• Wikilink bass guitar
• "keys" and "synth-centric" → "keys", and "synth-centric" also this can be worded as neutrally in comp to demonstrate the instrumentation while the critical parts can be moved to a reception and promotion section
• Remove the "by critics" part since only one reviewer said that, also any sentence with quotations needs the appropriate ref(s) invoked
• "was simultaneously dubbed as" → "was dubbed as" and only the smooth part really belongs in comp; the full quote suits reception
• "and piano rhythms."" → "and piano rhythms"." per MOS:QUOTE
• ""Love's Train" became an" → ""Love's Train" has become an" plus this belongs in the reception area of reception and promotion
• The entirety of the last para belongs in the promotion area
• "is the seventh track" → "was included as the seventh track" but the track number is unsourced
• Wikilink as compilation albums per WP:PIPE
• Add a comma before the last compilation
• "has been re-recorded and remastered in" → "was re-recorded and remastered as a single in"

 Done but didn't include "as a single in" as it may confuse readers regarding if it was or not a single, maybe another way to re-word it or cut it altogether. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:33, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Composition

• This should be the section here, using the comp info that is currently in background and the production section; if this is not enough for two paras, then merge with the lyrics section

 Done

Lyrics

• Wikilink love triangle
• Remove wikilink on Felton Pilate since he will have already been linked to when comp/production is moved to before lyrics
• "lovelorn and yearning."" → "lovelorn and yearning"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "showed up in the studio" → "showed up at the studio"
• The appropriate ref(s) should be invoked at the end of any sentences using quotations

Isn't that too much? It is basically the same source over and over again. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:07, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

When you have quotations, there is supposed to be a source directly afterwards... I didn't say every sentence from the source. --K. Peake 09:13, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

Take a look, I believe I have addressed the issue. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:42, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• "Cooper thought she had" → "Cooper thought the woman had"
• "told Pilate "If" → "told Pilate "[i]f" per guidelines on quoting sentences
• "this", these words would" → "this"; these words would"
• "gotta call her up."" → "gotta call her up"."
• "Usually, the band would" → "Usually, Con Funk Shun would" and this info is actually background
• "submit to the label." → "submit to Mercury Records." with the wikilink
• "reworked song was" → "reworked version was"
• "they affirmed already listening" → "they affirmed having already listened"
• "he was crazy" → "he needed to be crazy"
• "he was sorry and" → "he was sorry, then" to avoid overusage of "and"

 Done

Production

• "they also contributed" → "Michael Cooper and Felton Pilate contributed" with the wikilink, as the beginning of this sentence because it will come before lyrics after re-ordering
• Wikilink rhythm guitar
• "Pilate II played the trombone" → "Pilate played the trombone" with the wikilink
• Wikilink synthesizer
• Wikilink flute
• "flugelhorn, and was responsible" → "flugelhorn, and was also responsible" with the wikilink
• "while Danny Thomas played" → "while Thomas played"
• Wikilink clarinet
• Pipe organ to Organ (music)
• Should the term finally really be used?
• Pipe mastering to Mastering (audio)

 Done

Reception and promotion

• This section should come here, using one para each for the respective parts and mentioning names for reviewers

 Done

Personnel

• Retitle to Credits and personnel

I won't retitle it per personnel. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:06, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Silk Sonic version

• Infobox looks good!
• "as the fourth single and" → "as the fourth single from their debut album An Evening With Silk Sonic (2022) and" with the wikilink because otherwise it is unclear what you mean by fourth single
• "to the debut album" → "to the album"
• "and it will also be" → "and is also set to be"
• Pipe vinyl to Phonograph record
• "The song features" → "A soul and funk song, it features" since the genres can be moved here per the overly short size
• Pipe music critics to Music journalism
• You could make the reception sub-section a reception and promotion one, then the performance can be written out there with the release info
• Despite my above comment, I do appreciate you using a lead specifically for this version here but it is still in the body so do not add wikilinks again in the sub-sections

 Done

Background

• Wikilink Instagram
• "that is one of" → "that it is one of"
• Wikilink Twitter
• "It was released on" → ""Love's Train" was released on" moving this to being the first sentence of the promotion part of reception and promo

What promotion part? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:09, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Reception and promotion sub-section; this should be clear how did you miss that?? --K. Peake 09:13, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

I was making changes randomly, so I didn't get this until a later point and forgot it. I made the changes, but this paragraph is huge compared to the others. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:31, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• "On March 18, 2022," → "On March 18," to avoid overusage of the year
• Pipe Billboard to Billboard (magazine)

 Done

Composition and production

• Audio sample looks good!
• ""Love's Train" cover" → "Musically, the "Love's Train" cover"
• The NME ref should also be after the above sentence since it mentions the song having a 1970s style
• "It was composed in" → "It is composed in"
• Wikilink tempo
• Wikilink vocal ranges
• "the pace of the original."" → "the pace of the original"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "analogue production" as the Silk Sonic version" → "analogue production", as the Silk Sonic version"
• "Andy Bustard writing for HipHopDX" → "Andy Bustard, writing for HipHopDX," and remove the similar comment part because this is a new para
• "the duo "by swapping" → "the duo go back far in time "by swapping" per the source
• "in the previous decade."" → "in the previous decade"."
• "added, ".Paak and Mars apply a" → "added that they "apply a"
• "to the love ballad."" → "to the love ballad"."
• Pipe mixed to Audio mixing (recorded music)
• "by Bryce Bordon and mastered by" → "by Bryce Bordon, while mastered by"

 Done

Reception

• Retitle to Reception and promotion, adding a para at the end with the info moved from background and the live performance
• "Eddie Fu writing for Consequence dubbed" → ""Eddie Fu, writing for Consequence, dubbed""
• ""soundtrack for...adult" → ""soundtrack for...ahem adult" per the source
• "self-assured vocal performances."" → "self-assured vocal performances"." per MOS:QUOTE
• "Andy Bustar from HipHopDX affirmed that" → "Bustar affirmed that" per him already having been introduced
• "commented that "the aesthetic" → "commented that while "the aesthetic"
• "Uproxx's Aaron Williams called Silk Sonic's" → "Williams called Silk Sonic's"
• "and despite being a love song," → "and noted that despite being a love song," with the wikilink
• "however it entered the" → "though entered the"

 Done

Personnel

• Retitle to Credits and personnel

I won't retitle it per personnel. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 16:05, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Charts

• Good

Release history

• Label → Label(s)

 Done

References

• Copyvio score looks great at 24.2%!!
• Make sure all of these are archived by using the tool

What's the tool? I can't remember. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:24, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

Click on revision history, then fix dead links. --K. Peake 09:13, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

Thank you and fixed. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:00, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• What makes ref 1 a reliable source? If kept for some reason, fix MOS:QWQ issues.

The only source I was able to find that information, the other sources is some blogs. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:24, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

• Cite AllMusic as publisher instead on refs 2, 4, 5, 8 and 9
• Cite Complex as work/website instead on ref 14 and pipe to Complex (magazine) per MOS:LINK2SECT
• Fix MOS:QWQ issues with refs 18, 24 and 28
• Pipe Warner to Warner Music Group on ref 20
• Musicnotes → Musicnotes.com on ref 23

 Done

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed! --K. Peake 09:40, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

  Hi! Thank you so much for the review. I almost addressed everything, but I left some questions here and there if you would be so kindly to answer them. Cheers, MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 17:07, 2 May 2022 (UTC)

• MarioSoulTruthFan Thanks for the quick response, I have addressed any areas of disagreement! --K. Peake 09:13, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

  I believe I have fixed all the issues. However, I believe the sub-section of "Reception and promotion" on the Silk Sonic version is "huge" when compared to other sections. Cheers. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:33, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• MarioSoulTruthFan The merger works and you have fixed most of the issues, though I did some copy editing and the comp quotations still read like they lack neutrality; are you sure this isn't a problem? --K. Peake 10:40, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

  You mean the composition section on the Silk Sonic version? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:46, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• MarioSoulTruthFan No, I am referring to that section for the original. --K. Peake 11:37, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

  I can change the vocals description to the reception if you want. I believe that was what you were talking about MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 12:21, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• Yes that is true, as this part does not appear neutral. --K. Peake 12:46, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

  I believe it is fixed, made some other changes. Please take a look. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 15:03, 3 May 2022 (UTC)

• ✓ Pass now, this looks a lot better! --K. Peake 20:04, 4 May 2022 (UTC)

  Thank you for the time, patience and dedication. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:01, 4 May 2022 (UTC)