Talk:Oh What a Circus/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 21:27, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

as a single from the album → What album?
talking about the → discussing the (I find it juxtaposing when I read a song talking about about something, but one sings a song, not talks it lol)
its tune with → 'Tune' is too informal
success for Essex, who had been dropped by his previous record company due to his declining success. → Repetition of 'success'. Suggest changing the latter to 'sales'
and received critical appreciation. → Why, briefly.
for broadway in 1976.→ Link Broadway
researching about her → 'About' is redundant here
reached only number → Omit 'only', I don't think it's needed
a new record deal for him. A new deal → Repetitious. These two sentences couldn't be made into one by the use of a comma and slight rephrasing.
The single was → Song before single
shares its tune → As before, 'tune' is not very encyclopaedic
a choral chan → Can this be linked?
sung by Colm Wilkinson.[4] But it was not used, → Starting a sentence with 'But' only makes it sound like it should be connected to the previous. Starting with 'but' reads a bit awkward
spanning the nodes from → spans from
Lyrically it talks → Comma after Lyrically
climed → Typo
Ché muses → Why does this instance utilise an accent on the e?

On hold. — Calvin999 21:42, 28 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Passed. — Calvin999 18:12, 29 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]