Talk:One (Ami Suzuki song)/GA1

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 00:22, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 00:22, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Original cover needs an alt
• The 'D' in dance-pop shouldn't be capitalized
• Producer should be Yasutaka Nakata without the link
• Remove the certification
• The extra album cover isn't different enough to warrant a separate image; it should be removed. However, you can contest this reasoning if you provide a valid explanation

Lead

Paragraph 1

• Stylized → Capitalized
• The CD/DVD information isn't necessary here

Paragraph 2

• the track → "One"
• Upon its release, "One" → Upon its release, the track

Paragraph 3

• Very good indeed!

Background and release

Paragraph 1

• You can remove the link to 'lead single'; it's not necessary
• There is no source for the last sentence

Paragraph 2

• Condense the first sentence so you can combine to something like "The maxi CD of the single contains the original composition and remix of "One", plus the album version and remix of "A Token of Love"."
• Otherwise great work here!

Composition

• It would be great if you could add a sample of the song here
• Add another music element, in addition to "club music"
• since 2008. He felt → since 2008; Hiraga felt
• What do you mean by 'feeing'? Did you mean 'feeling'?
• You use "One" a lot here; you can switch it out for "the track", "the song", "the recording", "the composition", etc....

Critical responses

• Remove the 's' at the end of this section title and change to 'Critical reception'
• Add a link to music critics, using the article 'Music journalism'
• Explain Roeltgen's profession and background in the sentence
• summer tune". Roeltgen concluded → summer tune"; Roeltgen concluded
• Explain Hiraga again quickly
• Perfume → Perfume's work

Commercial performances

• Rename section as "Commercial performance", eliminating the 's'
• Add a topic/intro/lead sentence to this section please
• sole week in all → sole week on all

Music video

• This section needs an image

Paragraph 1

• Remove the extra 'l' in 'jewelry'
• The third sentence has two independent clauses separated by a comma; please reword so it makes better sense
• colour → color
• Again, remove the extra 'l' in 'jewelry'
• Again, colours → colors

Paragraph 2

• colourized → colorized
• Can you reword the second sentence please?

Paragraph 3

• stating "For this → stating "for this
• as a disco queen." The editor → as a disco queen"; the editor
• concluded that "The media → concluded that "the media

Promotion and other usage

• Rename section 'Live performances and promotion'
• Add a topic sentence please
• Remove the 's' in commercials
• The first sentence regarding quiz championships needs to be reworded
• Add 'of' after 'which consisted'
• career → career's beginning
• Add a source for the sentence discussing her 'two club party events'
• "One" was included on → "One" was also included on
• Add a source for the liquidroom event sentence
• The part about "One" being performed in the middle section isn't necessary

Track listing

• This part looks great to me

Personnel

• Rename this section 'Credits and personnel'

Charts and sales

• Once again, this looks really good as well

References

• [19] - Remove the link to Avex Trax
• [25] - Remove the link to Billboard
• [26] - Remove the link to iTunes Store

End of GA Review:

This is the best article I've read about this genre; however, it still needs some work. I'm gonna put it on hold for seven days until changes have been made. Thank you! Carbrera (talk) 01:01, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi @Carbrera:; I have finished all your comments above. Hope this helps for the nominations! CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:39, 29 March 2016 (UTC)