Talk:Satsu (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review[edit]

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Courcelles (talk · contribs) 06:55, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take this one on. Expect a detailed review in about 18-24 hours. Courcelles (talk) 06:55, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 07:06, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Introduced as one of the strongest Slayers," That wikilink is not what you want.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 22:53, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Others criticized it as a publicity stunt saying it was out of character for her." Which 'her'? Context indicates Buffy, but we're in an article about Satsu.

Clarified. Aoba47 (talk) 22:53, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Whedon imagined her as "one of those eccentric anime-looking girls you find in those Frutie books."" Direct quote needs a directly following citation

Moved citation up. Aoba47 (talk) 22:53, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"For the cover of issue 22 of Swell," Issue 22 is called Swell, this needs a rephrase.

Rephrased. Aoba47 (talk) 22:53, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Whedon acknowledged the criticism aimed at him for killing off lesbian character Tara Maclay in the show's sixth season as reflecting the "whole cliché about lesbians being killed"; he said that he would factor this response into his future representation of Satsu, but explained: "You do have to be careful about the message you're sending out. It's a double-edged sword. You have to be responsible, but you also have to be irresponsible or you're not telling the best stories."" More uncited quotes

Moved source up; it was cited though. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Some critics felt that the pairing" Whom?

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Several scholars identified Buffy's interactions with Satsu, and the post-coital images of the pairing, as establishing her as a more masculine figure." Again, who?

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Scholars also commented on the representation of Satsu's sexuality. She was described as fitting the image of a femme aesthetic or the lipstick lesbian.[30][23]" Nitpicky, but citations go in numerical order.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Satsu is addressed one of only two out lesbian slayers in the comic book series, alongside Kennedy." We need an "as" in that sentence, or some other form of massaging.

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Both images are fine. Courcelles (talk) 20:28, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Courcelles: Thank you for the review so far. Just let me know when you have added all of your comments, and then I will address everything in one go. Aoba47 (talk) 20:31, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I've looked over it again, I'm not terribly happy with the use of SlayAlive as a source for an entire paragraph, but I think it is allowable in that it is more of an article posted on a forum... if you could find the same information somewhere else, I suspect it would save you hassle at FAC.

I understand and share your concerns. Unfortunately, I do not believe the information exists anywhere else, as the quotes/information was taken from an interview directly with the source. I can remove these parts though if you believe that it is necessary. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

That's the thing, isn't it. If it was posted in article form we'd just accept it, but being hosted on a forum draws in WP:RS concerns. Ultimately, I can see the way to treating it as a WP:SPS, as the claims aren't extraordinary or counter-intuitive. I could make an argument for it, but I can also make a good argument against killing it with fire; the problem is you'll lose a lot of the breadth of coverage without it. I think I come down on the side of leaving it for now, but would not expect to argue it through FAC. Courcelles (talk) 01:18, 23 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the response, and those are very fair and accurate points. If I ever plan to put this up for FAC, then I will definitely look further into this portion and its sourcing. Maybe I could find a better source to replace this if I look a little harder and more creatively. Aoba47 (talk) 01:23, 23 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

"Professor Jessica Hautsch" Professor of...?

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed your hyphen issues -- endashes between page ranges. (Yes, I know I called them emdashes in my edit summaries, but they're actually endashes as is proper.) Also fixed where you had page=range, instead of pages=range.

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

And that's four read-throughs. I'm out of comments, and will place this quite good article on hold for now! Courcelles (talk) 21:22, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for picking this up for review, and I greatly appreciate your comments! I had difficulty with this article so the feedback definitely made the article a lot better. Let me know if there is anything else that requires improvement. I hope that you have a wonderful rest of your day and/or night! Aoba47 (talk) 23:00, 22 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Think we're done here. I'll go do paperwork. Courcelles (talk) 01:28, 23 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.