Talk:Share Your Soles

Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 18 February 2019 and 12 May 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Marsh5668, Gabbyxkay, Nataliej929.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 03:31, 18 January 2022 (UTC)

TTrriisshaa's Peer Review

Share Your Soles is structured in a way that is easy to read/understand. Based on the table of contents and information cube at the beginning, someone can easily navigate their way around the article.

However, there are somethings Share Your Soles could improve on like

• The lead should be as specific as possible. For instance, the first sentence it states that Share Your Soles helps homeless and individuals who cannot afford shoes. Who are those individuals or homeless? Their background? The reader should know what Share Your Soles is about and who their audience is based on the lead.
• The history section should work like a timeline meaning try including the dates of when organizations or locations opened (Ex: the drop-off locations in Chicago)
• Somethings are very redundant or over explained (Ex: there’s a section for contributors and volunteers/contributors… maybe put those two sections together that way your article doesn’t feel repetitive).
• less essay/storytelling format (Avoid the phrase "As a result")
• Be careful with Grammar (Proper pronouns, run-on sentences, commas etc)
• Use past tense and third person
• Be careful with using sources that are sponsoring Share Your Soles because they are not reliable (Ex. Pr web)
• Also, there are multiple sources being cited several times within the same section

Overall, Share Your Soles is well structured outline which makes it easy to navigate and find information. What your group should focus on is the language of the article making sure it does not sound like an essay or argue for the organization. Also, I suggest looking at these two links to help improve the article. They help avoid the essay like format without creating vagueness in the article which is something I will also use for my organization article.

TTrriisshaa (talk) 14:45, 3 April 2019 (UTC)

Michaelas Peer review

Overall, I think your group has a great article started. I remember at the beginning of the semester you guys were a little unsure about Share your souls and if you would have enough info but from what I see, you guys have a good amount! The article is easy for readers to navigate and not confusing at all.

The lead: is in general pretty good and very easy to understand. Maybe add some more info about who their organization really targets. "this organization is used multiple times in the lead which I don't think is needed.

History: I think the information given in this section is great. The only critique I have about this section is try and make it sounds a little less like an essay. Words like "from there" and "as a result" make the section sound like you are writing an essay.

Mission statement: The last part of the section seems kind of out of place but other than that I think this section is fine.

Contributions/Volunteers: -I think you could possibly combine the contributions and the volunteers/contributors section if your group wants to. Other than that, I think this section is overall pretty strong and I thought it was cool how individual people were listed and not just large corporations. Also, if there is only one source for a whole section I believe you only have to site it once.

Fundraisers: Run with purpose sound kind of like a Press release especially the part that says the secretary of state attended. Maybe just switch some words around to make it sound more factual. Overall a good section just focus on making the sections more factual.

Awards and Recognition: I don't really see any issues here.

Overall a great first draft. Needs some grammatical fixes and some edits!

Msmit70 (talk) 01:35, 4 April 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review

Strong lead and mission statement! They’re straight to the point, no flowery language and is easy to comprehend. The article is very well organized and has a good amount of information being provided. There is a great number of references that are notable. I like the section at the beginning of the article that gives quick information like founder year, who the founder is, and so on. The infobox is a nice touch.

• The history section is written very well but it does sound a little PRish.
• The last sentence in "Flint, Michigan Contribution" was a bit unclear.
• I would suggest to not use the same citation after every sentence in a section by rather put it at the end of the whole paragraph and try not to reuse the same citation.
• Beware of essay-like speech. I found that sections like “Allison Grady” and “Illinois Bone and Joint Institute” read like an essay.
• In the section “Illinois Bone and Joint Institute” try not to use language like “as a result”.
• 20th Anniversary of Share Your Soles needs a link.

Here are some sources that could be useful. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/giving-heart-and-sole-to-haitian-children/ https://patch.com/illinois/oakpark/hatch-green-team-collects-154-pairs-shoes-share-your-soles https://www.guideposts.org/inspiration/people-helping-people/share-your-soles http://chronicleillinois.com/news/cook-county-news/share-your-soles-shoe-project-ties-woman-to-world/ https://www.michigan.gov/mdhhs/0,5885,7-339-71551_69890_69993-342840--,00.html

RoseChampagne (talk) 22:09, 7 April 2019 (UTC)

Ekarns2 Peer Review

I think your group did a great job at explaining what "Share Your Soles" is as well as providing the reader with a great amount of information. You guys also did a pretty good job at staying neutral, like a wikipedia page should do. Great work, lots of information, but you keep it short and to the point, some sections would be good with more information though!

·History: If you guys have the information, maybe put what kind of families or neighborhoods these shoes are going to, just to be more descriptive. You guys also could have more of a timeline so that the reader gets a better understanding on the company and when it was developed. When did she take the trip? When did she create this company?

·Mission statement: Maybe go into depth about what kind of programs they have developed and talk about those.

·Contributions: In my opinion, I think that you could combine the contributions section and the contributors section together.

·Volunteers/Contributors: I think this section is really good. You were descriptive and provided good information.

·Fundraisers: Overall, this section is pretty good, but try not to sound to "PR" in some sections. Remember this page is to strictly provide readers with information.

·Awards: Maybe go more into depth about these awards, and why they are honorable awards to win.

Some changes I suggest would be to go more into depth in some sections so the reader gets a better understanding on "Share Your Soles". I also would suggest not to sound to PR like or essay like, make sure you guys are watching that. I think those changes would be an improvement, because like I said before, the point of this is to provided information and stay unbiased. Otherwise I think this draft is looking great.

Ekarns2 (talk) 01:56, 8 April 2019 (UTC) Emily Karns Ekarns2 (talk) 02:00, 8 April 2019 (UTC) Emily Karns

Notes

Hi! I have some notes for you:

• I would not list the various volunteers unless there are a lot of sources to really justify listing specific people or groups. This means multiple sources, at least 4-5 with most being non-local. I would especially not list individual people, particularly if they are underage. Part of this is to protect the privacy of the individual, but it's also because this puts undue weight on the specific people or groups. I would instead do a section that gives a general overview of what volunteers typically do. I would also merge this with the fundraiser section for the same reasons, as the fundraising can be seen as a form of volunteer work. I would even potentially argue that the contributions could be worked into this section as well, given that they're donating shoes. I would actually say that the first donation of footwear to the US should be in the history section, though. I'll do a general re-write of the section to fit this in and post it below the current content.

That aside, here's how I recommend writing the volunteer and fundraising sections to make them one:

Share Your Shoes has worked with several volunteers such as students, organizations, and educational facilities. Volunteers can raise funding or collect and sort through shoes, which will be packed accordingly to their destination. Fundraising efforts have included marathons and musical events. Share Your Shoes has also hosted fundraising events such as the 2016 Help for Haiti, where the profits were directed to the citizens of Haiti. In 2019 the organization hosted a fundraiser celebrating their 20th anniversary, where proceeds were used to aid children in attending school by providing them shoes. Share Your Shoes has also received donations from individuals such as the Mayor of Zimbabwe, Muchadeyi Masunda.

This is very to the point and gets the gist across without going into too much detail.

• I would only have the very basics when it comes to locations and I'd list this in the history section or in the lead.

• I would list the awards as just a basic list or 1-2 sentences.

• This needs more sourcing. What you have here is good, but I'd recommend that you try to find more sourcing that focuses on Share the Shoes without it being about a student or group that is doing volunteer or fundraising work. Part of this is also because many of the sources are primary, meaning that they were released by Share Your Shoes or an organization or person that is affiliated with them or their people. For example, if a college wrote about a student or sports person that works for or attends their school, that would be a primary source, however if a newspaper wrote about them it wouldn't, if that makes sense. The reason for this is that the person is volunteering for Share Your Shoes, which creates a tie to them that extends to their school.

• Also be careful of writing in a too casual tone, as it's easy to slip into this without realizing it.

I hope this all helps! Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:02, 12 April 2019 (UTC)

• During the re-write I actually saw that the locations were already mentioned in the history section, so there's no true need to re-list them in their own section since that makes the information kind of redundant. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:21, 12 April 2019 (UTC)
• Also, any re-write or suggestion I've done is definitely fine for you guys to freely use and adapt as you need. Shalor (Wiki Ed) (talk) 19:22, 12 April 2019 (UTC)

Peer Review

Hey! Your article is really good! I made a couple of minor edits and have one suggestion.

• Add more info on Haiti, maybe even add a whole section about your orgs contributions to Haiti. Here is one that I thought would be

helpful. https://www.ibji.com/share-your-soles-for-haiti/

Best! RoseChampagne (talk) 15:47, 24 April 2019 (UTC)

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