Talk:Sonic Advance/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: TarkusAB (talk · contribs) 14:45, 5 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Gameplay

"Split second" sounds informal. Replace with "a short moment" or something like that.
- Changed to "brief moment"
"spin-dash", are you sure that phrase needs a hyphen? I thought it was one word: "spindash" but I'm not sure.
- I usually make it two words because that's how it is in the instruction manual. I've changed it to just "spin dash".
By entering a cheat code, players can also control Sonic and Tails simultaneously, similar to Sonic the Hedgehog 2. - Do you mean the player controls sonic with tails just following like in S2? Or do you mean two players can play using a link cable? The way you wrote it, it sounds like one player controls both characters, which I don't think is the case. I've never played the game though. This needs clarification.
- Tails follows him like Sonic 2, I've reworded it a bit.
down a tube on snowboards while - Multiple snowboards or just one?
- Whoops, fixed.
trying to earn enough rings to complete the target amount - "trying to collect enough rings to meet the target amount"
- Yeah, I still used some of the older text on this article (which was really poorly written). I've fixed that.
Competitive multiplayer on a GBA? I guess they use a link cable? Might want to mention that.
- It's wireless multiplayer for 2-4 owners of the game. I've reworded it a bit.

Development

I don't think you need the quote for Naka's phrase, especially since he speaks Japanese. Just say, which producer Yuji Naka felt was refreshing
- Done.
and character designs - suggested replacement: and the modernized character designs by Yuji Uekawa
- Done.
In 2005, it was compiled with ChuChu Rocket!,[20] Sonic Pinball Party,[21] and Sonic Battle. - When I read this I thought all 4 were bundled together and didn't know what system it was for. Suggested replacement: In 2005, it was compiled with ChuChu Rocket!,[20] Sonic Pinball Party,[21] and Sonic Battle[22] in separate bundle packs for the Game Boy Advance.
- Done.

Reception

while IGN described it as "great". This phrase really doesn't add any value. I would remove it but keep the source to support the praise earlier in the sentence.
- Done.
, calling it a "satisfying experience". Also adds no value
- Removed.
and GameSpot called it "cool feature". Replace the quote with more description on what they thought was cool, otherwise remove this whole phrase. Again, adds no value
- Reworded to add a bit more value.
lack of connectivity Lack of...GameCube connectivity? sounds like you're talking about online play or something
- Reworded.

Lead

In the infobox it says the Android release was worldwide, but in the body it says it was exclusive to Japan.
- Whoops. Fixed.
Infobox only lists Dimps as developer. Is that correct or was Sonic Team a co-developer? I don't know. Their logo is on the box art.
- Dimps did the actual programming, while Sonic Team mostly just oversaw the development. I'll still add them to the infobox, though, since they were credited in the credits and everything.
The game has been ported to a number of platforms since its release, including Nokia's N-Gage and the Wii U via the Virtual Console. It was only ported to 2 platforms, the N-Gage and Android. Wii U release is emulation. I wouldn't say that's "a number of platforms", the sentence needs a rewrite.
- Rewrote. Now reads as The game has since been ported to Nokia's N-Gage and Android devices, and is available on the Wii U via the Virtual Console.

Other

@TheJoebro64: Your writing is getting better with each GA. Nice job. TarkusAB^talk 02:38, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@TarkusAB: Think I've resolved everything. Responded above. JOE BRO 64 11:22, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]

@TheJoebro64: OK nice job. This passes. TarkusAB^talk 14:23, 10 November 2017 (UTC)[reply]