Talk:Suspensory muscle of duodenum/GA1
GA Review[edit]
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Reviewer: Peripitus (talk · contribs) 11:19, 18 March 2014 (UTC) All up a pleasant read on an interesting subject. The references check out (cover the referenced text), those that I have access to, and I can't find any too-close paraphrasing. All references are clearly reliable for the material referenced. Images look good and are properly licenced and attributed though it would be nice if File:Gray1056.png identified where in Gray's Anatomy it was.
The article is adequately broad in coverage, except for the comment below on presence in other animals, is well written and comprehensible. I only have issues with the below points. I'm placing this on hold as these issues look relatively straightforward to correct.
- The lead section needs some work
- Sentence two in the lead is not a summary of part of the article but is instead material not exactly covered elsewhere. This material should be in the main body of the article.
- Sentence 1 in the lead. Is this necessary to reference ? it seems covered by references [3]:48 and [1] in the body
- Lead is not summarising all of the article. I suggest a sentence on the function section, perhaps one based on the variation and something on clinical significance. The lead needs to adequately sumarise the article. A few more sentences to ensure that all of the significant sections are, briefly, covered.
- Is the ligament of Treitz present only in humans or is it in other mammals, eg primates, to provide the same function ? I can see reference to primates elsewhere.
- the link to Mesenteric artery needs to be changed to either the Superior or Inferior as currently it links to a disambiguation page.
- Described as the Hilfsmuskel. Is the ligamentous portion described this way, or one or both of the arteries. This line should be made clearer
- When it contracts, the suspensory muscle of the duodenum widens the angle of the duodenojejunal flexure - I would have though it would narrow the angle when it contracts and widen when it relaxes, but I may be looking at this the wrong way
- ref [3] needs a publisher and date
Done Added the publisher; I don't think books need to be provided with a date of publication. --LT910001 (talk) 05:56, 26 March 2014 (UTC)
- You either need the year, or the edition (4th revised edition), or both, otherwise someone is going to check your reference to sections 18-33 and discover the the text is elsewhere. As much as possible the ref should direct someone to the exact place that the material came from, for academic texts with multiple revisions things get shuffled around a lot - Peripitus (Talk) 10:41, 26 March 2014 (UTC)
- Peripitus (Talk) 11:19, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks for taking up this review, I look forward to working with you to get this to GA. I'm a little busy (thanks for putting this on hold!) but I will try to get back to your concerns within a week. Kind regards, --LT910001 (talk) 05:18, 19 March 2014 (UTC)
- Thanks, I'll go through this again tommorrow thanks LT910001 - Peripitus (Talk) 11:46, 28 March 2014 (UTC)
I've fixed a few minor issues and there is only one remaining that I can't fix.
- In the lead you have the words thin muscle. This is not in the body of the article. I've not moved it as I thought....thin relative to what ? If the reference says it is thin relative to other muscles in the body then this is what should be in the body of the article - probably in the first couple of sentences of the first section. Otherwise I think perhaps this word should go.
- Peripitus (Talk) 11:57, 29 March 2014 (UTC)
- Great! This is already found in-text, here: "The ligament contains a slender band ", which is referenced, so it should be OK. It's nice to have a picture of the muscle developed in the lead, and it is not bulky as we may think of other muscles (such as majority of the flexors or extensors). --LT910001 (talk) 23:33, 29 March 2014 (UTC)