Talk:The Beverly Hills Hotel/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:32, 2 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]


I'll finish this tomorrow JAGUAR  19:32, 2 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Initial comments[edit]

  • "The Beverly Hills Hotel was established in May 1912, before there was even a city called Beverly Hills" - I'd rephrase the last part to something like The Beverly Hills Hotel was established in May 1912, before the establishment of Beverley Hills or before the construction of Beverley Hills? Or either something similar, or feel free to ignore
Seems to have been altered.♦ Dr. Blofeld
  • "In 1941, Hernando Courtright, the vice president of the Bank of America, purchased the hotel with friends including Irene Dunne, Loretta Young and Harry Warner" - did his friends also purchase/own stakes themselves?
 DoneThey made investments and together with Courtright, were the hotel's owners at the time. Clarified the text and added ref about it. We hope (talk) 11:55, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "had bought up land in the foothills of the Santa Monica Mountains" - purchased?
 Done — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 06:31, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Burton Green, an oil tycoon and real estate developer, President of the Rodeo Land and Water Company" - should President be capitalised here? I see uses of "vice president" that isn't capitalised
  • "billing it as "“halfway between the Los Angeles and the sea"" - doubles quotes here
 Done — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 06:31, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a dinner invitation from "Pickfair".[10]Gloria Swanson" - space after citation - that is just too minor, I've done it myself!
  • "In 1942, Howard Hughes bought up half a dozen of the bungalows" - again, "purchased" would sound more formal here
 Done — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 06:31, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Owner Ben Silberstein’s died in 1979" - no need for apostrophe?
 Done — Ssven2 Speak 2 me 06:31, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
  • "The extensive gardens of the grounds, covering 12 acres" - convert to hectares too
Done.♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:52, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

References[edit]

  • No dead links, and all appear reliable
  • The list of references should be converted to two columns as the list seems far too long  Done We hope (talk) 11:39, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

On hold[edit]

Another well written and well researched article. Those were all of the prose issues I could find, but otherwise this is looking great. JAGUAR  20:37, 3 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: I believe the good Ssven2 has addressed the points. Thanks for the review!♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:42, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you all for addressing those issues. This article was in great shape as it was, but since they're all clarified, this is good to go now. JAGUAR  13:19, 4 August 2015 (UTC)[reply]
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