Talk:Valley Girls/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: warrior4321 03:06, 16 January 2010 (UTC)

In-Depth Review

Disambiguation links

• The link to Less than Zero leads to a disambiguation page

Prose

• ["Valley Girls" is the forty-second episode overall and the twenty-fourth episode of the..] I would remove the "overall" episode number and just stick with the one for the season.
• No need to bracket CW as it isn't really an abbreviation to the original name.
• [second season of the The CW Television Network (CW) television series Gossip Girl.] You might want to put [second season of the television series Gossip Girl which is owned by/aired on the CW Television Network.
• [The episode also served as a backdoor pilot for a potential Gossip Girl spin-off series entitled Valley Girls.] [The episode was a backdoor pilot for a spin-off series entitled Valley Girls.] It didn't "also" serve as a backdoor pilot;it was a backdoor pilot. You don't need to say Gossip girl either, as the article is about a Gossip Girl episode which means it's implied.
• [The episode was directed by Mark Piznarski, written by Josh Schwartz and Stephanie Savage, and filmed on location in New York City, New York and in Los Angeles, California] Split the part about filming into a new sentence
• ["Valley Girls" aired on the CW in the United States on May 11, 2009 and was viewed live by an audience of 2.31 million Americans.] Really? Because the CW Network comes here in Canada;I'm sure some Canadians must have watched it as well. Check online if there's anything about that.
• [In the past, Lily] [In the episode, Lily...] You could always add when she was young or a teenager at the end of the sentence to imply that it happened previously. You want to add "In the episode" to the tell the reader, that this happened in the episode.

The article needs a thorough copy-edit. I will fail it for now. Please feel free to re-nominate it once the copy-edit is complete. warrior4321 02:54, 17 January 2010 (UTC)