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Overall, this article is pretty close to GA-status. It's great to see articles on new theater at this level so early in their lives. Cleanup is mostly needed in the prose quality and some updating is needed, seeing as this one has been sitting around for a while. I'll add specific comments below. Feel free to contest any of these.
- Thanks for the detailed review. I love the feedback. I'll plod through this gradually. Not sure if I will finish it in a week or not, but as long as I am making progress, I hope you will be patient.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:33, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Yeah, for sure. No rush whatsoever as long as you're working on it. I'll ping you if there's no activity for over a week, but I otherwise see no reason to do these things hastily. Good luck! BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 22:46, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "Several of the play's characters are named for the characters in plays by Anton Chekhov, and the play's setting in a cherry orchard and the possible loss of the family home are also from Chekhov works." Would this sentence work better slightly restructured for more cohesion? "Some of the show's element's were derived from the works of Anton Chekhov, including several of the characters' names, the play's setting in a cherry orchard, and the theme of the possible loss of an ancestral home." Variations would also work.
- Can you make the line about critical review and commercial success active and more specific? "Critics praised VSMS for (X elements). The show also proved to be a commercial success, recouping its $2.75 million investment in under a year." I'd rather see more information about the crtical and commercial appraisal in the lead than a list of the various awards it won.
- "the play's setting in a cherry orchard and the possible loss of the family home are also from Chekhov works." After a readthrough, I don't see this information cited anywhere in the article.
Production history[edit]
- Ref#1 uses the date format (Month Day, Year) where all the rest use (YYYY-MM-DD). It's also not in a cite template like the rest of the refs and it's missing an accessdate. Finally, some refs use "playbill.com" while others use "Playbill". I like the latter more, but they should probably be standardized.
- A few more refs are also missing accessdates throughout the article. Please check for these and add them.
- "Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike was commissioned by the McCarter Theatre, Princeton, New Jersey in association with the Lincoln Center Theater." States, when listed as (City, State) need a comma after the state as well as the city. ..."Princeton, New Jersey, in association"...
- Likewise, when (Month Day, Year) dates are written in prose, they require a comma after the year. "The play ran at the McCarter Theatre[2] from September 7, 2012 to October 14, 2012." This needs a comma after the first instance of 2012.
- Take a read through the article to check for other instances of the above two comma-requiring situations...there are a few.
- File:McCarter Theater2.JPG — GFDL/CC-BY-SA-3.0, self by uploader. Looks good.
- "The play ran at the McCarter Theatre[2] from September 7, 2012 to October 14, 2012.[3] The show was originally a one-act play.[4]" Any way you can combine these two sentences to decrease choppiness?
- "When Durang later won the Tony Award for this work, he "thanked his mother as he recalled writing his first play in second grade in 1958."[5]" This sentence feels very out of place here. Is there somewhere else it would be better placed?
- Your first mention of Durang in this section should be wikilinked and use his full name.
- Ref#7 can (but doesn't have to) link Lortel.org to Lortel Archives.
- Charles Isherwood can (but doesn't have to) be wikilinked in Ref#8 and other refs in which he appears as the author.
- "It opened on Broadway on March 14, 2013 at the John Golden Theatre,[10] after previews from March 5,[11] as scheduled.[9]" What does "as scheduled" mean here? You can also consider changing "from March 5" to "beginning March 5".
- "The Broadway engagement was originally announced to close on June 30, but had been extended to July 28, 2013.[12]" Awkward tenses. Try "The Broadway engagement, originally announced to close on June 30, was extended to July 28."
- "On June 10 (the day after it won the Tony Award) it was announced that the play had extended again, to August 25." had→had been
- "Julie White took the role of Masha as of July 30; Sigourney Weaver left the cast on July 28.[13]" Up to this point, I had no idea Weaver was in the cast. You mention before that "the show would transfer to Broadway for 17 weeks with its original cast" but it would be great if you could specify who was in that cast, if it's known. Also, wikilink Weaver's name at its first appearance.
- "the house got bigger and bigger." Is there a more elegant way to phrase this?
- Optional: "The actors had to make adjustments to compensate for the changes." Any idea what these adjustments were?
- "Nielsen and Pierce both said that the proscenium accentuated their comedic performances.[4]" Who are Nielsen and Pierce?
- "Following its Broadway run the show is scheduled to tour." is→was
- "It ran at the Berkeley Repertory Theatre in September and October 2013" Mention which state this Theatre is located in.
- "Tony-nominated Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike actor David Hyde Pierce will direct the January 29 — March 9, 2014 production at the Mark Taper Forum by Center Theatre Group.[18]" Obviously, this hadn't occurred when you wrote the article, but since it has now, check the tenses.
- Also on the above sentence, I'd be interested to know which character DHP played in VSMS. Try "David Hyde Pierce, nominated for the Tony Award for Best Actor (or whatever) for his role as X in the (whichever) production of VSMS, directed a production of the show at the Mark Taper Forum by Center Theatre Group in (city, state) that ran January 29 — March 9, 2014."
- "Although the characters in the play share names with Chekhov characters due to their naming by university professors," → "Although the characters in the play, named by university professors, share names with Chekhov characters,"
- "but are derived from their namesakes as well as other characters." as well as→and
- "than any Chekhov's characters named Masha.[19]" any→any of
- "Rather than mimic Three Sisters" Comma after Sisters.
- "his play has a sister, brother and stepsister, with the latter two being the most Chekhovian of the titular characters." Two questions: What does it mean to be "Chekhovian"? And who claims that these the sister and brother are inherently more Chekhovian?
- Do I need to put the WP:IC after every sentence in this paragraph. This content seems to be adequately referenced by the IC in the following sentence.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:54, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- This is all pretty much Durangs comments in from the IC presented.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 04:59, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- My tendency is to error on caution's side and overuse ICs, and this particular sentence is one case where I think it makes sense to use the same IC twice in two consecutive sentences just because its an interpretive assertion that's being cited, even if it's one coming from the author. In most other cases, however, I've got no problem with citing a couple sentences with just one IC. Does that work for you? BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 06:09, 14 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "However, who Nina seems to be very much derived from the character of the same name from The Seagull was the most like a Chekhov character according to Durang.[19]" Sorry, I'm having a lot of trouble understanding this sentence. Could you clarify?
- "After five marriages to her contemporaries, Masha has taken up with Spike in a May–December relationship.[19]" Does this line belong in a section about production history?
- "Durang says that "Cassandra, who's a cleaning woman and soothsayer, is like the Greek-tragedy Cassandra. In some ways, she's like the nanny in Vanya, but she doesn't reflect Chekhov as much."[19]" This one is tricky. Durang references two different elements with which the audience might not be familiar: Cassandra and Uncle Vanya (at least, I assume that's what "Vanya" refers to in this sentence). I'd suggest wikilinking them, but WP:LINKSTYLE warns against wikilinks inside quotations. It instead suggests adding a note template, {{Efn}}, and a {{Notelist}} at the bottom. I suggest considering this to explain the references. You might also try to work in an explanation to Cassandra in the text of the article somewhere and use notes solely to explain the line about Vanya (especially when it could be possible to mistake it for this play's titular character).
- If the reader needs further explanation, I am a believer in linking things. I don't understand the reasoning behind this rule. I just linked inside the quotes. If you really care or someone else does, I will try to learn this fancy template.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:34, 15 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Casting[edit]
- The producer list is four lines long on my screen. How important is it to have each of these names listed?
- I'm unclear on the significance of various names being separated with amersands and slashes: " Joan Raffe/Jhett Tolentino" and "Martin Platt & David Elliott". If this list is kept, can the names all be equalized in such a way that there are either no slashes/ampersands or that their importance is explained?
- This was copied from IBDB.com. I am not sure of the meaning of the list as it was presented there. I am not sure if changing the punctuation would lead to misleading information.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 05:05, 16 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- Internet Broadway Database can be linked in ref#21. Also, this needs an accessdate.
- "Magnussen, who earned his first Tony nomination with this role, had previously made his Broadway debut in The Ritz in which he played a character that also spent a lot of stage time being exposed.[22]" A few things: this sentence reads strangely after a long list of producers. "had previously made"→"previously made". "character that"→"character who". "stage time being exposed"→"stage time exposed". Maybe link "exposed".
- Discussion of the actors' Tony histories might better be suited for the Awards and nominations section.
- "On July 28, Weaver left the cast and was replaced on July 30 by Julie White as Masha.[24][25]" This has already been mentioned.
- "The cast for the Mark Taper Forum production will be Mark Blum, Christine Ebersole, Grant, David Hull, Nielsen and Liesel Allen Yaeger.[18]" This would be past tense now, right?
- Right now, it seems like the article would benefit from some reordering among the first three sections. I think this might work better is Plot came first, followed by Casting and then Production History. Also, is the Casting section so much about Casting as much as it is about Cast? Just a thought. In any case, you might try switching the order around on these sections.
- "Middle-aged siblings Vanya and Sonia, named after characters in Chekhov's plays (their parents were both professors and both active in community theatre), live in the family home in Bucks County, Pennsylvania." There's a lot of information in this sentence and it meanders. How would something like this work? "Middle-aged siblings Vanya and Sonia, named after characters in Chekhov's plays by their parents (both of whom were professors active in community theatre), live in the family home in Bucks County, Pennsylvania."
- Just a gander but are the characters given last names?
- "They live in the house they were raised in, after spending their adulthood looking after their now-dead parents. Neither has a job, and money is provided by their sister Masha, who is a movie star, who owns the house and pays the bills." You already mentioned that they live in the family home, so I suggest combining these sentences into something like "After spending their adulthood looking after their now-dead parents, neither has a job, and money is provided by their movie star sister Masha who owns the house and pays the bills.
- "spend their days doing nothing, reflecting on their lost chances and bemoaning their rather Chekovian lot in life." You don't need "nothing" in here. It's enough to say that they spend their days bemoaning... Also, again, Chekovian is undefined. A note might help here.
- If the term "Chekhovian" remains in this article, standardize the spelling to either "Chekovian" or "Chekhovian".
- The fact that Cassandra is mentioned in this section again makes me think that Plot should be the first section in the article.
- "bringing with her a flurry of drama, an endless litany of insecurity, and a much-younger, gorgeous, dimwitted lover named Spike" Maaaybe trim some of the descriptors.
- "much-younger" No hyphen.
- "Sonia's resentments" Of what or whom?
- Italicize Sexy Killer, Entourage, and Entourage 2.
- "Masha has returned home to attend a costume party at an influential neighbor's" Influential neighbor's house? An indirect object would be good to have.
- "(she herself is Snow White, of course).[27]" This probably does not need to be included and if you feel it does, the "of course" definitely does not. Also, the "herself" can be removed regardless.
- "Sonya rebells"→Sonia rebels
- "dresses up as "The Evil Queen as portrayed by Maggie Smith on her way to the Oscars."" Is this important to the plot? If so, it needs a citation as a quote. Evil Queen should be unlinked.
- "As Cassandra does Voodoo on Masha" Can it be clarified exactly what she's doing? Voodoo is awfully vague.
- "Hesitantly, she steps out of her shell and accepts." Remove "steps out of her shell".
- "about the devolution of culture since the 1950s, Global warming, Senor Wences and pretty much everything else." The current structure suggests that he's talking about the devolution of culture since global warming and Senor Wences as well as the 1950s. Try this phrasing: "about global warming, Señor Wences, and the devolution of culture since the 1950s, among other topics."
- "her personal assistant, who he has been having an affair with"→"her personal assistant, with whom he has been having an affair"
- In general, the Plot section can be trimmed. Instead of, "Masha's fifth marriage has recently ended and her career, which has mostly been as a star of films with names like "Sexy Killer", is starting to stall", it would suffice to say, "Masha's fifth marriage has recently ended and her career is starting to stall."
- "According to Robin Pogrebin of The New York Times, "The play sets characters and themes from Anton Chekhov in present day Bucks County, Pa.."[3]" This is nothing we don't already know.
- Do you consider this a redundancy to be eliminated. I consider it an introductory sentence for that paragraph, despite any repeated content.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:46, 18 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "The characters Vanya, Sonia and Masha are middle-aged siblings named after Chekhov characters.[6] Their deceased parents were "college professors who dabbled in community theater".[28]" We've already heard this before.
- "According to Charles Isherwood of The New York Times, not only are the character names borrowed from Chekhov, but also "The country-house setting is also borrowed from the work of that Russian master, as are the self-delusions and self-pity that plague the central characters, all of whom have reached the difficult age when life’s path has narrowed uncomfortably, and there is little point in turning around and looking to take another, more rewarding course."[8]" This is good insight.
- Pogrebin and Brantley can be wikilinked in references in which they are the authors.
Critical review[edit]
- Careful with tenses in this section. "Knowledge of Chekhov will increase the enjoyment of this work's in-jokes, but not as much as an understanding of Durang's absurdism, according to Theatermania.com's Brian Scott Lipton.[31]" is a fine in present tense because the play may still be enjoyed, but the next sentence, about the performances of certain cast members, should be written in past tense: "Brantley noted that even people who are unfamiliar with Chekhov would appreciate some of the humor, especially from Hyde Pierce, Nielsen and Weaver:" Brantley noting this already happened and so should be conveyed in the past.
- "Brantley notes that even people who are unfamiliar with Chekhov will appreciate some of the humor, especially from Hyde Pierce, Nielsen and Weaver: "Even if you’ve never read a word of Chekhov, you’re likely to find plenty to make you laugh: Mr. Hyde Pierce’s skillfully low-key comic discomfort; Ms. Nielsen’s segues from manic eruption into glazed smiling stupor; Ms. Weaver’s game sendup of every self-loving, self-doubting movie queen there ever was."[6]" The prose portion of this section essentially says exactly what the quote does. Could you do with one or the other?
- "calling it "blander and thinner"," comma should be a period.
- Would it make more sense to cut this quote down? "He also noted that typically, "In Durang Land, of course, heartache is generally fodder for belly laughs" and that this work had plenty." How about "He also noted that in Durang's plays, "heartache is generally fodder for belly laughs" and that Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike had plenty."?
- "According the New York Post critic, Elisabeth Vincentelli, the show improved with its transfer from Off-Broadway to Broadway, especially, Weaver's role, which was the weakest.[28]" Three things: 1) remove the comma after especially. 2) What is meant by "Weaver's role"? Did Weaver's acting improve? Was Masha rewritten by Durang? Some combination of the two? Something else? 3) "especially Weaver's role, which was the weakest." should again be clear that this was Vinventelli's opinion. "especially Weaver's role, which Vincentelli deemed the weakest."
- Fixed 1 & 3. The source says the following two things: "the one weak performance — that of Sigourney Weaver — has grown more nuanced and funnier" and "the award for most improved goes to Weaver". What do you make of this?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 14:21, 20 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
- "Weaver's character is an "overindulgent, self-centered and unaware she’s on the decline" movie star, that Mark Kennedy of The Washington Post thinks her class of 1974 Yale School of Drama classmate Durang may have written for her.[27]" Three things: 1) Is Kennedy suggesting a causal relationship, that Durang wrote the part for her because they were classmates in 1974? 2) I'd move that she's a movie star before the quote. 3) that→who. Does this work instead? → "Weaver portrayed a movie star who was "overindulgent, self-centered and unaware she’s on the decline", a role that Mark Kennedy of The Washington Post suggested Durang, with whom Weaver graduated from the Yale School of Drama in 1974, may have written for her."
- "Vincentelli also notes that Sigourney Weaver "has turned her life into a performance."[28]" No need for "Signourney". Also, what does the fact that she has "turned her life into a performance" mean in this context? It sounds like it relates to her life and not necessarily the show.
Awards and nominations[edit]
- "six Tony Awards nominations"→"six Tony Award nominations"
- "The play won the 58th Drama Desk Award for Outstanding Play.[34] The 2013 New York Drama Critics' Circle Awards recognized the play as Best Play.[35]" Can these be combined?
- "Shalita Grant received a Theatre World Award for Best Debut Performance, to be presented on June 3.[36]" This should be updated.
- I don't know that the prose of this section has to mention every award for which the play was nominated...you might trim out one or two of the less important awards.
- "won the awards for Outstanding New Broadway Play and Outstanding Featured Actress in a Play .[40]" Remove the space between "Play" and the period thereafter.
- "The production won the 2013 Off-Broadway Alliance Award for Best New Play.[41] The show received an Artios Award nomination from The Casting Society of America for Outstanding Achievement in Casting, New York Broadway Theatre – Comedy.[42]" Can these two sentences be combined?
- Can the "Pending" Artios Award at the bottom of the table be updated?
- Refs 40 and 41 use the (Month Day, Year) format instead of your preferred (YYYY-MM-DD).
- I'd unlink the actors' names that have already been linked prior in the article from the prose portion of this section. I'm fine with linking them in the table, but ensure that each is only linked once.
External links[edit]
More later! BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 13:48, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Alright, I've finished a first review. There are a lot of small things to fiddle with but the article is fundamentally pretty sound. I'll put it  On hold for a week for now, though if you need more time, I'm happy to extend that. Once you've dealt with these issues, I'll give it another readthrough and we'll work from there. Good work on this so far! Sorry it was waiting in the queue for so long... Best, BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 20:27, 11 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Second readthrough[edit]
Great job resolving most of my comments! I'm taking a second readthrough now and will try to respond to any questions you had above. I've made a few small copyedits (Plot, Critical review Awards).
- Throughout, standardize the use of Off-Broadway in instances when it's not part of an award or organization title: does it include a hyphen or not?
- Can I ask about the single citation in the Plot section which supports the fact that Masha has everyone dress up for the costume party? If there should be a citation anywhere in this section, it should be after the following sentence's quotation: "Sonia rebels, and dresses up as "The Evil Queen as portrayed by Maggie Smith on her way to the Oscars."" This assertion should either be followed with a citation or the quote can be removed and paraphrased. If it helps, as far as I can tell, the text of the play itself is: "MASHA...You said you were going as the Evil Queen but no one got 'Mirror Mirror' from you, they got Dame Maggie Smith winning a fucking Oscar." (p. 54)
- In re: voodoo, from what I can tell, Cassandra is using a voodoo doll on Masha. I'd mention this and link voodoo doll. Also, lowercase the v in voodoo.
- The article's order works much better this way; thank you for changing around the first three sections.
- I'm still unsure about the inclusion of this line in the Characters section: "After five marriages to her contemporaries, Masha has taken up with Spike in a May–December relationship." This information is basically already included in the Plot section, is it not?
- I tried building a collapsed table to include all the producers with this edit, then reverted it. Thoughts on presenting the information that way?
- "The play, which was originally a one-act play," Would it be alright just to say "The play, which was originally a one-act,"?
- "As the play moved from McCarter Theatre's proscenium stage to Newhouse Theater's thrust stage to the Golden Theatre's proscenium stage, the house got expanded each time." How about: "The house expanded with each of the play's moves, first from McCarter Theatre's proscenium stage to Newhouse Theater's thrust stage, then to the Golden Theatre's proscenium stage."
- "David Hyde Pierce, nominated for the Tony Award for Best Actor in a Play for his role as Vanya in the original Off Broadway and original Broadway production of Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike, directed the January 29 — March 9, 2014, production at the Mark Taper Forum by Center Theatre Group.[9]" Sorry to change around my advice on this line, but since the article was reordered the reader now already knows who Hyde Pierce is and what his relationship to the show was. I'd suggest: "Hyde Pierce reunited with the show to direct the January 29 — March 9, 2014, production at Los Angeles's Mark Taper Forum by Center Theatre Group.[9]"
- ""The play sets characters and themes from Anton Chekhov in present day Bucks County, Pa.."[13]" I'd remove both links from this quote since you've already linked both items above and neither are especially crucial, as Cassandra and Vanya were above.
- Upon a reread, I'm happy with the Themes section.
- I made a few tense changes to the Critical review section. I also changed "Weaver's role" to "Weaver's performance", which I think the source suggested. Please feel free to contest this.
- I made a few very minor edits to the Awards section as well.
- In the lead, you mention that the play is set in a cherry orchard, but I don't see this information anywhere else in the article.
Overall, this article is very close to GA-status! Keep up the great work! BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 15:54, 21 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Final check[edit]
These are the last few things, I promise. These are all in the lead which I purposefully neglected while the article's body was undergoing work.
- The big one is that there isn't really anything in the lead about the show's plot. Could you add one to two sentences giving a quick overview of the show's basic premise, probably after the sentence "Subsequently it was produced in California."?
- "The original Off-Broadway and original Broadway casts" Can we do without the second original?
- "included David Hyde Pierce, Sigourney Weaver, Billy Magnussen, and Kristine Nielsen." How about "included David Hyde Pierce, Kristine Nielsen, Sigourney Weaver, and Billy Magnussen in the respective titular roles."?
- If ever there was a theater article that would benefit from the inclusion of its original promotional material in the infobox, this might be the one. Consider uploading a downscaled copy of the show's promo/poster image (here) which not only acts as a generic article illustrator but also shows off all four original principal actors in costume. How cool is that? This is of course optional, but it would be a great addition in my opinion.
Thanks for all your work on this! BobAmnertiopsis∴ChatMe! 16:02, 22 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]
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b (citations to reliable sources): 
