Talk:Vazgen Sargsyan/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: QatarStarsLeague (talk · contribs) 15:54, 15 July 2013 (UTC) Review should be expected soon. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 15:54, 15 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox & lead[edit]

The lead is superb. The one cause for alteration I detected was the following: "Today, his contribution to the establishment of an independent Armenian state and ensuring its security are greatly valued." I am sure that his contributions are valued as stated, but you must provide reference of this. I understand that the following sentences, regarding his decorations and nominal memorandums, do so. Even still, an inline citation of his contributions must be visible to the reader.

added --Երևանցի ^talk 22:38, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and career[edit]

"...with the Armenian Komsomol award." Could elaborate on the official title he received?

The source [1] literally says "Հայաստանի Կոմերիտմիության մրցանակին", which means "Award of the Armenian Komsomol". I guess that's what it was called. --Երևանցի ^talk 19:34, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

That is fine. I just assumed the award might provide more of a paraph in its title. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 02:49, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Movement and war for Karabakh[edit]

First off, the name of this section is off-putting. Maybe you should remove movement from the title?

Changed to Nagorno-Karabakh conflict--Երևանցի ^talk 19:54, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The Armenian national awakening led him into political life." To refer to the looming surge in nationalism as a "reawakening" is subjective.

Changed to "rise of Armenian nationalism"--Երևանցի ^talk 19:54, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"...led him into political life." Who is "him"? A reader would not be able to answer that question as you have not yet defined who "him" would refer. One would assume Sargsyan, but this assumption is turbid. Please replace "him" with Sargsyan in this sentence.

fixed--Երևանցի ^talk 19:54, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"Vazgen Sargsyan joined..." In accordance to the above changes, the full name can be altered to read "he".

fixed--Երևանցի ^talk 19:54, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"...two groups..." Countries instead of groups.

the problem is that Armenia and Azerbaijan were not countries and the tensions were between the two ethnic groups

Ah yes. I read this article as a whole and I guess I confused some pre-1991 dates with post-1991 dates. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 02:52, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"...condemning the advantage of the Armenians." Advancement, maybe? Incursion?

fixed --Երևանցի ^talk 19:54, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Minister of defense and presidential change[edit]

"comparable in efficiency to the Soviet Army." I find it hard to believe that a nascent, albeit well trained and equipped, could possibly be comparative to the world's most powerful military force. From what source did this information hail from?
All else is fine. Excellent section!

Not my wording. Please see the source

Lehrke, Jesse Paul (2013). The Transition to National Armies in the Former Soviet Republics, 1988-2005. New York: Routledge. p. 142. ISBN 9781135108861. Of all the Soviet successor states, 'Armenia was the only state that managed to build a combat-capable army from scratch' (Baev 2007: 253), one that was 'comparable in efficiency to the Soviet Army' (Fairbanks 1996: 136, see also Herzig 2005: 167-8) This army was institutionally united and highly bonded both with the regime and society. The cohesion was forged largely due to the war with Azerbaijan over Nagorno-Karabakh and the inferior material capabilities that Armenia possessed at the time (Herzig 1999: 55).

And don't forget that Armenia, a country of 3 million, defeated Azerbaijan with a population of over 6 million.--Երևանցի ^talk 19:59, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I do not question the capabilities of the Armenian Armed Forces. I do question the presumption that they can defeat a (then) nation of 295 million, which was the world's most powerful and advanced military force. However, if the source text mentions it, I guess it can remain. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 16:29, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Efficiency is different from strength. --Երևանցի ^talk 18:05, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I understand. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 20:02, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Rise in power[edit]

I will stop here to allow you deference to address the proposed amendments. All the images are suitable insofar, aside from the Armenian army patch and the signature. They need copyright tags. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 18:31, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

the Armenian Armed Forces emblem is the work of the Armenian governnment and according to the Armenian copyright law "state emblems and signs (flags, coats of arms, medals, monetary signs)" are in public domain. --Երևանցի ^talk 22:46, 16 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The signature? QatarStarsLeague (talk) 16:27, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Idk, what's wrong with it? Aren't all signatures in PD? I never seen any restrictions over signatures on the Commons. --Երևանցի ^talk 20:17, 17 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, you are correct. This is no longer an issue. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 20:07, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The rest of the section passes.

Assassination[edit]

A pass here, excellently sourced. Along with the rest of the article. A magnificent, consummate job on this topic. I can see an onerous amount of work went into this article, and it shows. Congratulations! QatarStarsLeague (talk) 20:59, 21 July 2013 (UTC)[reply]