Talk:Virgin America/GA1

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GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: MrWooHoo (talk · contribs) 14:23, 16 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Hi, I'm MrWooHoo. I'd like to quickly explain how I'll be reviewing this article. I will do a general review (checking the criteria), then doing an in-depth prose and source review. Thanks! MrWooHoo (T • C) 14:25, 16 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Excellent; I look forward to hearing your thoughts and complying with any requested improvements! DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 20:48, 16 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

General Review[edit]

Rate Attribute Review Comment
1. Well-written:
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. See prose review below.
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. See prose review below.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. Everything is sourced.
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). Will check sources specifically in the source review.
2c. it contains no original research. Everything is sourced.
3. Broad in its coverage:
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. Looking towards other airline GA's it looks on par in terms of what it should cover.
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). Yep.
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. I don't see any bias.
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. Don't see anything since December 10th in terms of vandalism.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. Copyright status is all good.
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. Pictures are suitable and have good captions.
7. Overall assessment. See prose and source review below.

Prose Review[edit]

Note: If you have changed the sentence that needed to be corrected, press Enter and start off the line with ::, then use checkY or  Done If the change was only partially done use checkY, and ☒N or  Not done if the change could not occur. (If you would explain why, I would be greatly appreciated :P) To see code, go to edit source and copy the code.

One main issue with the lede I'm a bit confused about...it's using past tense. However, Virgin America and Alaska have not fully merged yet and in the infobox there is no information showing that Virgin America is no longer an airline, so shouldn't you be still using present tense?


Examples:

  • "and had begun operations in 2007."

Why use had begun when you should use began?

 Done Got it. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Virgin America was a brand created by the British Virgin Group as an American counterpart to the corporation's other airlines.[4] The airline was founded to provide low-fare, high-quality service for service between major metropolitan cities on the Eastern and West Coast seaboards.[5] Virgin America's frequent flyer program Elevate provides award flights and other benefits to frequent fliers."

Note here that the first two sentences uses past (was), but the third sentence uses present tense (provides).

 Done I've taken the liberty of fixing this up, but I'd like to receive your approval. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On 8 August 2008 the airline made its inaugural New York and Los Angeles to San Francisco flights "

In some areas of the article you are using a comma after an introductory statement, but here you aren't. Stick to conformity throughout the article.

 Done Good point; I've added that comma throughout, as that's the style I prefer. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "On May 21, 2009, Virgin America became the first U.S. airline to offer Wi-Fi access via Gogo Inflight Internet on every flight. "

Also, make sure you're using dmy or mdy format throughout the article.

 Done I dig the MDY format, so I believe I've now had that set in uniformity. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "To promote the service, Oprah Winfrey chatted with a flight attendant, Mandalay Roberts, aboard Flight 780 between Seattle and Los Angeles using Skype."

Are all these details necessary about Oprah chatting with a specific flight attendant using a specific voice chatting service?

 Done I honestly believe none of those details are integral. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In March 2010, Virgin America announced its intention to start flying to Toronto from Los Angeles and San Francisco, making for the airline's first international destination."

Shouldn't it be "it" instead of "for"?

 Done Quite right; done! DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Following the Department of Transportation approval of Virgin America's proposal"

Change Department of Transportation to Department of Transportation's.

 Done Got it. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Both cabins feature mood lighting, all seats are equipped with Panasonic Avionics' personal in-flight entertainment system running a customized touch-screen GUI called Red."

Remove the comma and add the word "and" between "lighting" and "all".

 Done Done. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Passengers seated in first class receive complimentary meals, refreshments, and alcoholic beverages and receive dedicated airport check-in, security screening, and aircraft boarding. In first class, Red offers free live satellite television, free on-demand movies, free on-demand television programming and a selection of games. "

In one sentence you are adding the serial comma (the comma before the and as bolded in the quote), but in the other you aren't. Make sure there's conformity with having the comma or not throughout the article.

 Done I don't really dig serial commas, so I've given conformity and also gone through the article, removing any other Oxford punctuation. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In Main Cabin, Red offers free live satellite television, pay-per-view on-demand movies and on-demand television shows, a small selection of free games and a larger selection of games for purchase."

Once again, either use the comma before and, or don't. Make that decision throughout the article.

 Done Agreed. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:11, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Source Review[edit]

  • Reference 48 cites "Planespotters.net". Does this satisfy WP:RS?
checkY I can't find any alternative sources that update the fleet, as stated below. I'd like to hear your feedback. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 23:37, 31 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
  • Reference 51 is dead, although it's not required for GA, I would fix it on the path to FA.
 Done DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 23:37, 31 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@MrWooHoo: I will be on the road until the end of the weekend, but I will make the necessary adjustments as soon as I am home. Just a matter of hours. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 21:16, 29 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@MrWooHoo: I've applied most every recommendation thus far, though I don't know what to do about the fleet reference, as I can't find a first-party or even more prominent third-party source. For replacing the dead source, I utilized the Fly With Us page on their website, which includes all the same information from the press release, albeit in a less press-oriented fashion. DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 22:27, 30 January 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@DarthBotto: After a final check of the article, everything looks up to the GA standard. Will pass now! MrWooHoo (T • C) 02:49, 1 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
@MrWooHoo: Thank you so much! I am very pleased to see this. :) DARTHBOTTO talk•cont 05:12, 1 February 2017 (UTC)[reply]
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