Talk:Waterstones/GA1

GA Review[edit]

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Reviewer: Lemonade51 (talk · contribs) 21:36, 4 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Query, Can I start working on this now, or would it be easier to let you finish your review before attempting to fix the problems? RandomArticles||Talk 14:19, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Start right away. – Lemonade51 (talk) 14:49, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Early Years/ W H Smith (1982–1998)

Does years in 'Early Years' need to be capitals? I suggest you rename the heading to something like 'Early history', 'Formation'.
"using literary authors in front-of-store displays", does in front of store need hyphenations? I take it the adverb 'in front' doesn't so I assume hyphens aren't needed.
"This model proved successful, and the chain set about expanding its store portfolio...", remove comma between successful and 'and'.
"However, by 1989, W H Smith...", remove comma between however and by.
"as well as further domestic expansion, opening its 100th UK store", consider replacing the comma with an 'en dash' → –
"By 1997, the agreement had collapsed and been declared illegal.", needs source.
- Fixed RandomArticles||Talk 15:15, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

HMV Group (1998–2011)

"In 1998, after a previous attempt by Tim Waterstone to buy the entire W H Smith group,[14] the group sold the chain for £300 million to a joint venture between EMI and Advent International called HMV Media plc (now HMV Group), which included the brands HMV and rival Dillons creating an international entertainment retailer." → Rephrase.
'concerns for the way the company was being run' needs quotation marks, not apostrophe.
- Fixed RandomArticles||Talk 15:15, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Controversies

book signing does not need a hyphen.
"saying that the safety" → specifying the safety

Query, the fuller quote "saying the safety of its booksellers" is not sufficient? I'd imagine it's personal safety, despite the company not specifying as such when press releasing about this... RandomArticles||Talk 15:26, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Put "In October 2009" at the end of that sentence.
"Waterstones reversed this decision" → its decision
"In January 2012, the company announced that it was rebranding back to its original Baskerville typeface logo, and also saw the apostrophe in the name dropped, with the company styling itself from Waterstone's to Waterstones, claiming 'it was no longer practical in the modern world", Discombobulating. Rephrase that, I am looking for two sentences.
Where is the source for James Daunt's verdict?

Query, what do you mean by Daunt's verdict? as in what he said in the press release, or where he got his reasoning for the move? RandomArticles||Talk 14:19, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Need a source for James Daunt said "Waterstones without an apostrophe is, in a digital world of URLs and email addresses, a more versatile and practical spelling". Basically where ever you got that quote, reference it. – Lemonade51 (talk) 14:49, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

- Fixed RandomArticles||Talk 15:26, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Takeover

Change 'Books etc' to something else.

That is the actual name of the former chain, see here, unless you meant change the whole paragraph? RandomArticles||Talk 16:33, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

References

Remove YouTube link.
For all BBC references put 'BBC News' as the work, 'BBC' as the publisher. I've done one example for you, do the rest.

Sure, hang on RandomArticles||Talk 16:33, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed RandomArticles||Talk 16:46, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Righto, I'll give myself a day to do final spotchecks. By then I should pass this as a GA. Will notify you, most likely tomorrow of when that's done. – Lemonade51 (talk) 16:56, 6 February 2012 (UTC)[reply]