Talk:William Pantulf/GA1
GA Review[edit]
The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: Calvin999 (talk · contribs) 09:28, 20 April 2015 (UTC)
- Info box
- Link and capitalise Baron
- Link Anglo-Norman
- Instead of Parent(s), I'd put Mother as Beatrice, and then have Father as Unknown
- You could have other relations as including his sister
- Lead
- Link Anglo-Norman
- Link and capitalise Baron
- Did Baron of Wem instead. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:29, 23 April 2015 (UTC)
- Link Wem
- Link vassal
- Lead could be a bit more encompassing and with a bit more detail
- I'm open to suggestions on what to include.
- Just a take two or three points from the rest of the article and include it in the lead so it's more broad in it's summary. — ₳aron 12:35, 24 April 2015 (UTC)
- I'm open to suggestions on what to include.
- Background and family
- His family had been resident there since at least around 1030 → His family had lived there since around 1030
- Link vassals
- After the Conquest
- Link Sussex and Shropshire
- Capitalised Hundred
- and are considered → and were considered
- No. Are is correct here as it is a historical judgment currently. It's a judgment that came after the actual events - in fact around 1960 or so. Saying "were" would imply that it was considered a barony at the time of Pantulf's life, which it probably wasn't. Ealdgyth - Talk 14:29, 23 April 2015 (UTC)
- along with King → along with the king,
- temporarily because he → temporarily when he
- of the abbot. → What abbot?
- "Pantulf sought refuge at the Abbey of Saint-Evroul in Normandy while he was under suspicion; he and his family were under the protection of the abbot." - abbot of Saint-Evroul. My source doesn't give the abbot's name, or I would have used it. Nor do I have a list of the abbots of that monastery, unfortunately, Ealdgyth - Talk 14:29, 23 April 2015 (UTC)
- Death and legacy
- There's no need to have the final sentence as a second paragraph, just make this section one paragraph instead of breaking it up and splitting it.
- Outcome
On hold for 7 days. — ₳aron 16:51, 21 April 2015 (UTC)
- I made a few changes. Passing. — ₳aron 13:41, 25 April 2015 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.