Talk:Young Girls/GA2

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 19:59, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: Can you please wait until a discussion regarding the first review is finished? Thank You so much.

@MarioSoulTruthFan: I thought the last review was abandoned? Carbrera (talk) 20:55, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: It was, move on with this review. Disregard my previous comment. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 21:00, 19 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Is there anything known about the "Recorded" parameter?

If you want I can add the studio where it was recorded, but that's it. I have the liner notes of the album and it doesn't state the year, month or day. I have seen many interviews regarding this songs and nothing.

• Rest is good

Lead

Paragraph 1

• "fifth and overall single" --> just "fifth overall single"?

 Done

Paragraph 2

• ""Young Girls" charted in some countries, along with the released of its parent album, such as South Korea where it succeed by peaking a the top position," --> Reword please
• Remove "sometimes" in between "was performed live" and "including on..." please

 Done. I just reworded the last part of the first issue in this paragraph. Not sure if you want more? MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:48, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

• Nope! That works great! Thanks, Carbrera (talk) 18:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC).

Background and writing

Paragraph 1

• Please insert a comma immediately after "During a MTV interview"
• Link "MTV" to its respective article please
• "He feels that anyone can easily relate to the record..." --> Shouldn't it be in the past tense, as in "He felt that anyone can easily relate to the record..."?
• Rest is great

 Done

Production and release

Paragraph 1

• Please link "North Hollywood" and add "California" immediately following it, plus with a link to it

 Done

Paragraph 2

• Please remove the quotation marks before and after "Unorthodox Jukebox" and replace it by italicizing the album name
• Link "iTunes" to its respective article please

 Done

Composition and lyrics

Paragraph 1

• "The "pop anthem" is also influenced by a groove from Mars' debut studio album, noticeable on the backing vocals,[16]" --> Any groove in particular worth noting?

The reviewer is stating the groove is from "Doo-wops" he doesn't use such words, so I really can't add it here, otherwise WP: Original Research. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 09:58, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Gotcha. Carbrera (talk) 18:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Paragraph 3

• "are in the vein..." --> Isn't it "are in vein..."?

 Done. Neither, actually it is "in the same vein as". MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:01, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Cool. Carbrera (talk) 18:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

Critical reception

Paragraph 1

• Please link "critics" to the article for "Music journalism"
• Please insert a comma in between "Mars' performance on Saturday Night Live" and "it became available..."
• "it became available on studio version..." --> "it became available as a studio version..."

 Done

Paragraph 2

• Shouldn't it just be "Paste's" since magazine isn't technically part of the title?

 Done

Chart performance

• "at number 102..." --> "at number 2..."
• "it debut in France..." --> "it debuted in France..."

 Done

Paragraph 2

• "After its release as an official single, on November 26, 2013 in Australia, it was the most added track to radio stations, on the following week.[8][34]" --> Can you reword this?
• "the record was certified Gold..." --> "the record was certified gold..."

 Done

Live performances and covers

• Nada enchilada ;)

Music video

• Insert a comma in between "On December 12, 2012" and "it was reported for the first time..." please

 Done

Track listing

• Good!

Credits and personnel

• Flawless!

Charts and certifications

• All good here! :)

Release

• Good as well

End of GA Release:

Good work @MarioSoulTruthFan! Just some minor changes before passing. Contact me here by @PINGing me with any questions, comments, or concerns. Thank you very much. Good luck and cheers! Carbrera (talk) 22:56, 21 June 2016 (UTC).

@Carbrera: amended the issues, please take a look at the re-wording and some questions I left. Thank you. MarioSoulTruthFan (talk) 10:26, 22 June 2016 (UTC)

@MarioSoulTruthFan: Thank you for your quick feedback. Will be passing now, congrats! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 18:02, 22 June 2016 (UTC).

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.