User:Antonydimattia/sandbox
_(cropped2).jpg) Krumbus | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| No. 21 – SPQR | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Position | Small forward / Power forward | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| League | NBA | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Personal information | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Born | Error: Invalid birth date for calculating age Akron, Ohio, U.S. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Listed height | 7 ft 0 in (2.13 m) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Listed weight | 260 kg (573 lb) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Career information | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| High school | Pennsauken (Pennsauken Township, New Jersey) | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| NBA draft | 418: 1st round, 1st overall pick | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Selected by the Beijing Ducks | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Playing career | 2003–present | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Career history | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2003–2010 | Cleveland Cavaliers | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2010–2014 | Miami Heat | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2014–2018 | Cleveland Cavaliers | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| 2018–present | Los Angeles Lakers | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Career highlights and awards | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Medals
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Krumbus (Krombus) Kr-um-bus: Krumbus (just Krumbus) born September 11th 428 AD, was a prominent senator during the time of the Roman Empire (27 BC to 477 AD) and is credited as the pioneer of many technical innovations of the time. His death on October 8th 428 AD is often cited by historians as the impetus for the fall of the Roman Empire. Although Krumbus is often mentioned throughout Roman history, individual documentation of his innovations and adventures are sparsely documented. Although there are two lasting documentations of this nature - The Grimble Chronicles and The Saga of Baskemtball.
The Grimble Chronicles[edit]
The death of the mighty Krumbus:[edit]
Krumbus was a well known baller in the Roman Senator and the creator of a game of his own design, basket ball. He was so good at this game that many of the opps wanted to cap him, especially when he pulled up on their block. He extended a challenge to the Germanic Barbarians in early 428 AD. They agreed. During the game Krumbus rubbed his nuts in their face on multiple occasions leading them to be enraged. It was after the game that prominent barbarian Splomf pulled a roughly-made dagger from his anus. The rest of the people in attendance were powerless to stop Splomf from stabbing Krumbus 106 times. It is speculated that the Germanic Barbarians paraded him through the city to his mothers house. They then (REDACTED) his head into her (REDACTED). Accounts state the barbarians laughed throughout, stating “stuff the cow”.
The revenge of the cunning Glibnat:[edit]
Glibnat, a drug-addicted sewer rat who had once been the brother of Krumbus (had been abandoned), sought revenge on the Barbarians who killed his brother and defiled his mother. Using blueprints that his brother created, Glibnat commissioned the creation of a tonk (tank), that in all accounts resembled that of a 3 Pakistani (DJ) Khaled MBTs. Glibnat enacted his plan two months after the death of his former-brother. He pulled up on the house of Slompf and various other barbarians. Although they tried to fight back with their own hand-held weapons, they were destroyed by the rapid fire of ammunition that penetrated the hut from the outside. The tenth legion of the Roman Empire was then called in to (REDACTED) the bodies. It is heavily implied by Historians such as Brett Garten (esteemed warehouse owner) that these actions were highly reactive and caused the barbarian hostilities in the coming years.
The Saga of Baskemtball[edit]
The Fall of Krombus[edit]
Krombus was a really based Roman senator who was really good at basketball. He was so good at basketball that he invented it. The Germanic barbarians pulled up on the court and attempted to shank Krombus (they were the opps) before forcing his head into the (REDACTED) of a live cow (his sister). We will remember him. Krombus had humble origins. Born in a fountain, he knew from that moment forth that his jumper would be as the kiddlies say “wetty”. When he was four years old he accidentally killed his own father by throwing a spiked brass ball at his face (total accident) while practicing for the annual Roman spiked brass ball-throwing competition.
Revenge of Glibnat[edit]
The death of Krombus enraged his brother, Glibnat, who bought 3 Pakistani (DJ) Khaled MBTs to avenge his brother and cap the opps. Glibnat pulled up to the barbarian hut and shooted the shooties through the walls. The barbarians pulled out da MG-42, but sadgely for them, the 7.92 mauser rounds could not penetrate the thicc Pakistani booties. The barbarians were massacred and then the Roman tenth legion pulled up and (REDACTED) the barbarians’ bodies.
Ivar and the dwarves[edit]
Ivar the Bonerless heard of the destruction of his star-levelled level 13 barbarian hut and got very angy. Ivar reportedly screamed “OoooOOooimbutacuauam” and then pulled up on Rome with his little dwarf assault force. The dwarves were not the strongest with the blade, but their skills lie in the forbidden black magic of “dwarf tossing”. Rome fell on the 21st day cause Ivar likes the 21 meme. The fall of Rome at the hands of Ivar the Bonerless paved the way for the Cultural Revolution in China.