Wikipedia:Featured article candidates/2008 Mumbai attacks/archive1

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The following is an archived discussion of a featured article nomination. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the article's talk page or in Wikipedia talk:Featured article candidates. No further edits should be made to this page.

The article was not promoted by Maralia 22:48, 16 April 2009 [1].

2008 Mumbai attacks[edit]

Nominator(s): WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone
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I am nominating this article for FA-status because it has been largely improved since achieving GA-status, and as far as I can tell, it complies with WP:MOS WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 12:45, 10 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Tech. Review
Done -- Technical Problems Fixed. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 21:35, 11 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

MOS issues: See WP:LAYOUT on the order of items in sections. The images encroach on the text and need to be juggled.

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 16:06, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

See WP:CAPTION, image captions that are complete sentences should have periods at the end, example: "Several motorcycles lie in a pool of blood" (needs a period).

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 16:06, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

WP:ACCESS breaches, images should go at the bottom of sections and should not be left-aligned directly under level-three or lower headings. I changed the reflist to two columns (three or more break on some browsers).

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 16:11, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Publications should be in WP:ITALICS, (for example, The Guardian, not The Guardian).

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 13:41, 13 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Spell out abbreviations on their first appearance (IST).

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 22:46, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

The hidden comments in the text are distracting, can we tone it down a bit? Dabomb87 (talk) 17:59, 10 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 22:35, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Oppose - Prose is not up to FA standards. Suggest a copyeditor. Here are some random examples:
  • were more than ten coordinated shooting and bombing attacks across Mumbai, India's financial capital and its largest city. Awkward. Suggest: consisted of more than ten coordinated shooting and bombing attacks across the city of Mumbai, India's financial capital and largest city
  • which drew widespread condemnation - condemnation?
    • In section: Attacks
  • Link speedboat, Babri Mosque (move it up), Chhatrapati Shivaji Terminus, Remove the main article link at Taj Mahal Hotel and Oberoi Trident section and convert to link; same with Nariman House
In fact, this happens throughout the article.

Other sections: Attackers:

  • Witnesses reported that they looked young, in their early twenties, and wore T-shirts, black shirts, and jeans, and that they smiled and looked happy as they shot their victims - Rephrase, please
  • It was initially reported that some of the attackers were British citizens,[86][87] but the Indian Government later stated that there was no evidence to confirm this.[88] Why is this sentence needed...? I'm not quite sure I understand.
  • Aftermath:
  • Link: Maharashtra state, correct me if its not linked, same with Bollywood
  • Also, have you contacted the major contributors of this article? You are not the foremost one. Ceranllama chat post 17:19, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 22:29, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Image review File:Mohammed Ajmal Kasab.jpg - Could you please link to the HTML page for this image rather than directly to the JPG file per WP:IUP? All of the images in the article are adequately described and have verifiable licenses. The one fair use image meets WP:NFCC, in my opinion. Awadewit (talk) 18:41, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Done. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 22:24, 12 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
It is still linked directly to the JPG. Please link to the HTML page on which the image appears. Generally, such pages have information about the image itself. Awadewit (talk) 01:08, 13 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Otherwise, sources look okay, links checked out with the link checker tool. Ealdgyth - Talk 12:28, 13 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Noble comments I reviewed this article for GAN, and after a long review, I passed it. However, there are problems that need to be addressed if this is going to be an FA. Just for starters, it recently struck me: You have nothing about why. You give examples of other attacks, describe the attackers, and the attacks, but not why this happened. You mention in passing "the Mumbai attacks were directed by Lashkar-e-Taiba militants inside Pakistan", but you say nothing about the group, why the exist, why they wanted to attack, and so on. Surely out of all the references there must be a "they did this because...". This is a big comprehensiveness issue, and as such needs to be addressed. Noble Story (talk • contributions) 13:46, 14 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]

  • Suggest withdrawal - As I've mentioned above, the prose is not up to par and now the article is not comprehensive. Thanks, Noble, I can't believe I missed that. Ceranllama chat post 22:58, 14 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Concurrence with Ceranllama and Noble Story, withdraw nomination -- I have been quite hasty in looking over this article for FA-status, and everything mentioned is true. I will wait at least a few months and I will wait for more information on this before nominating this for FA-status again once it is archived. WhaattuSpeakwhat iDone 00:45, 15 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
  • Closing note: This candidate has been withdrawn by the nominator, but there may be a delay in bot processing of the close. Please see WP:FAC/ar, and leave the {{FAC}} template in place on the talk page until the bot goes through. Maralia (talk) 22:47, 16 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]
The above discussion is preserved as an archive. Please do not modify it. No further edits should be made to this page.
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